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Reflections on Real Life - Brit Nitwit cements microwave to his cracked head hoping for some warm vibes!

Funny story: Reflections on Real Life - Brit Nitwit cements microwave to his cracked head hoping for some warm vibes!

The extent of British eccentricity is renowned around the planet, thank you Mr.Bean! However, sometimes the boundaries of Brits being totally bonkers (I also am quite a nutter) are taken a step too far as in the case of one total crank who cemented a...

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Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...

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Four people hurt in spat over porridge

A family of four came to blows whilst rushing to eat porridge too quickly yesterday morning. George and Mary Otterstuff had broken noses after they threw porridge dishes at each other. Their children, Gemma and Emma, suffered burnt lips and tongue...

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Microwave Cookbook Goes Viral; Culinary Institutes Witness Massive Dropout Rate

Funny story: Microwave Cookbook Goes Viral; Culinary Institutes Witness Massive Dropout Rate

Respected culinary schools across America have experienced a crippling dropout rate in student enrollment since recent publication of the gastronomically innovative book, A Microwaveable Feast. The book, which highlights nearly 40,000 microwave-centr...

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Aspartame resolves corn shortage

Funny story: Aspartame resolves corn shortage

Fort Detrick, MD - According to scientist Dr. Orncay Olehay, a drought ready strain of corn has been developed that requires less water to grow. The recent devastating drought in the corn belt of the USA inspired this invention. The new corn prod...

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Digital switchover hell as microwave oven broadcasts Great Pyramid of Giza chamber opening

Funny story: Digital switchover hell as microwave oven broadcasts Great Pyramid of Giza chamber opening

Buckinghamshire - "It's either an alien nocturnal emission from the Ally Pally transmitter or some weird digital switchover glitch," was the official line following an inexplicable incident at a leafy South Bucks home. This morning Egypt Wood resi...

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Woman is jailed for microwaving mitten

Funny story: Woman is jailed for microwaving mitten

A woman who microwaved a neighbour's kitten in a barbaric revenge attack was jailed last week. Callous Hetty Hotten put the helpless 10-year-old mitten in the 770-watt oven and turned it full on. The mitten's owner, Ivor Koldand, heard a strang...

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Dancing With The Stars And American Idol Face The Axe

Funny story: Dancing With The Stars And American Idol Face The Axe

And that's not all - the future of X-Factor USA also appears to be in doubt, and neither Cheryl Cole nor Simon Cowell is to blame. Sitting in a comfortable leather upholstered swivel chair, Ryan Seacrest declared that the problems permeating the s...

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In-car microwave "perfectly safe"

Funny story: In-car microwave "perfectly safe"

The selling of an in-car microwave oven from one of the biggest and best specialist retailer of consumer electronics, was declared "perfectly safe" by a team from a top driving and road safety organisation today. The Top-of-dashboard mounted unit...

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Scientists Identify New Disability

Funny story: Scientists Identify New Disability

Scientists and Medical Doctors have identified a new disability that was formerly considered another form of laziness. This is good news for an estimated 250,000 people in the world that suffer from this syndrome. "Microwave Programmers Disabilit...

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TV Chef Slams Microwave Baby Mother

Funny story: TV Chef Slams Microwave Baby Mother

London - TV Chef launched an expletive laden attack on China Arnold, 28, the mother from Dayton Ohio, who put her baby in a microwave. An acclaimed TV chef claimed the act was "An appaling Crime". "The Baby should have been marianated overnight in...

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Pharmaceutical company launches new intravenous ready-meal "to take the waiting out of microwaving"

Funny story: Pharmaceutical company launches new intravenous ready-meal "to take the waiting out of microwaving"

A British pharmaceutical company has introduced a new convenience food for 2008 in the form of injectable meals that require no cooking at all. Responding to consumers' criticisms of current microwavable meals, the company have developed a uniqu...

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"Don't Inhale," Microwave Popcorn Users Are Warned

Funny story: "Don't Inhale," Microwave Popcorn Users Are Warned

Popcorn lovers are shocked to learn that their snack of choice may not be as healthy as they had thought.

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Crazy Cal Gets Stuck in Microwave

Funny story: Crazy Cal Gets Stuck in Microwave

CCN - Smallville - After returning from The Fortress of Solitude where his Superhero Texan Friend is recovering from the Holy War at TheSpoof.com, Cal-el's wife, Black Canary, thinking he had been out carousing, threw him in the microwave and set...

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FDA Bans Microwave Ovens As Harmful to Human Health

Funny story: FDA Bans Microwave Ovens As Harmful to Human Health

WASHINGTON (AP) - The US FDA has banned the use of microwave ovens since food which is heated in a microwave inevitably causes cancer as the molecular structure of the food, and even human blood is changed, FDA Chief Ralph Roachman said at a well-att...

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Microwave Planned for Giant, Frozen Squid. If Unsuccessful - Colossal Calamari - Deep Sea, Deep Fried

Funny story: Microwave Planned for Giant, Frozen Squid. If Unsuccessful - Colossal Calamari - Deep Sea, Deep Fried

A Colossal Squid, frozen after being caught by New Zealand fisherman, is to be thawed out using a giant microwave. This was the first time we as a species have come into contact with a living colossal squid, our response was typically humane.

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SpongeBob Begs, "Don't Nuke Me"

Funny story: SpongeBob Begs, "Don't Nuke Me"

His heart skipped a beat when he read that a researcher had suggested that sponges should be sterilized for two minutes in the microwave.

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Fox New Season to lead with Blowing Stuff Up

Funny story: Fox New Season to lead with Blowing Stuff Up

This Autumn's Fox Network line-up is to be led by "Blowing Stuff Up" with Kathy Lee Gifford, the show will feature items being placed into a large microwave oven and nuked on full power until they explode. Items to feature in the progra...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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