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Funny satire stories about Michael Vick

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The Philadelphia Eagles Hand The New York Giants Their 5th Straight Defeat

Funny story: The Philadelphia Eagles Hand The New York Giants Their 5th Straight Defeat

EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - The green Eagles from Philadelphia flew into New Jersey and after they were done, they had beaten the New York Giants 36-21 handing them loss number cinco, as they say in Spanish Harlem. One sports reporter who has co...

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Vick accused of cheating in race with McCoy

Funny story: Vick accused of cheating in race with McCoy

LeSean McCoy in a taped interview after a recent Eagles scrimmage, stated that Michael Vick, the oft maligned quarterback with the oft maligned Philadelphia Eagles, did, in fact, put Krazy Glue on his running shoes just before the race. "I had on...

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Michael Vick Happy No One Mentions His Dog Fighting Past As Much As They Used To

Funny story: Michael Vick Happy No One Mentions His Dog Fighting Past As Much As They Used To

Philadelphia Eagle Quarterback Michael Vick says he is pleased that most people have no recollection or even knowledge that in August 2007, he pleaded guilty to federal charges in the Bad Newz Kennels dog fighting investigation and that the NFL susp...

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Michael Vick's New Book: Unsigned and Not Free

One of the 21st century literary lights, Michael Vick, may be facing public scorn for writing another book. We presume he actually wrote it for sake of argument. His detractors would tell you he is an illiterate Neanderthal. Finally Free appare...

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Tim Tebow in shock move

Funny story: Tim Tebow in shock move

New York Jet's backup quarterback Tim Tebow is to quit professional football. The former Florida Gators and Denver Broncos star told shocked reporters after the Jet's 35 - 9 win over the Colts. "I feel pretty much redundant here in New York." Tebo...

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Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick Says That His New Dog Is Really Only Half Dog

Funny story: Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick Says That His New Dog Is Really Only Half Dog

PHILADELPHIA - Quarterback Michael Vick's team, the Philadelphia Eagles, is currently sitting on top of the NFL's NFC Eastern Conference with a 3-2 record. And it appears that, as usually happens with people who get in trouble, Old Mother Trouble...

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Techno Viking dub steps Romo into coma

After Sunday's embarrassing performance to the Eagles, the Techno Viking challenged Dallas quarterback Tony Romo to a 50-yard line dance off. With all his dignity already stripped, Tony had nothing to lose by accepting the challenge. To a...

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Michael Vick's Magic Dust Wears Off

Funny story: Michael Vick's Magic Dust Wears Off

Whatever magic dust Michael Vick was using to play at the level that made him a serious league MVP has worn off, so says Philadelphia Eagles elephantine head coach Andy Reid. "And he better f--king find some more, and quick," said Reid, while snac...

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Vick hopes Obama given second chance too

Funny story: Vick hopes Obama given second chance too

PHILADELPHIA, PA--Eagles quarterback Michael Vick took the opportunity to respond to the news that President Obama had praised the decision to give the controversial star a second chance with the league, saying he also wishes the president is given h...

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Philadelphia Eagles To Host Funeral For Giants' Playoff Hopes. F--kers.

Funny story: Philadelphia Eagles To Host Funeral For Giants' Playoff Hopes. F--kers.

In an unbelievable act of selflessness and comaraderie, the Philadelphia Eagles have charitably agreed to host a funeral for the New York Giants playoff hopes, which died in the New Meadowlands Sunday, during the Eagles record-breaking comeback to be...

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Vick Seeks Canary as First Rehab Step

Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick says he is so eager to own a pet dog again that he'd be willing to enter a 12-step rehabilitation program where he could "work my way up a ladder of other pets before regaining the right to own a dog," he...

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Michael Vick Loses Dogfight Against Bears In Chicago.

Funny story: Michael Vick Loses Dogfight Against Bears In Chicago.

Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles lost a dog fight in Chicago, losing 31-26. There Are Not Nearly... ... as many sports-related dog metaphors as I first thought."It was a beating, an absolute beagle-whupping," said Vick, who was dogged by t...

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Michael Vick Named Pet Store NFL Player Of The Week.

Funny story: Michael Vick Named Pet Store NFL Player Of The Week.

Eagles QB Michael Vick has been named the National Pet Store (NPS) NFL player of the week, after his brilliant 6-touchdown performance against the Washington Redskins on Monday Night Football. Sanitized for your protection... Thank goodness, gent...

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Andy Reid Confirms, Under his Breath, That Michael Vick is Next Week's Starting QB

Funny story: Andy Reid Confirms, Under his Breath, That Michael Vick is Next Week's Starting QB

During head coach Andy Reid's weekly "Here's why we lost" press conference, the coach was asked who will be the Philadelphia Eagles' starting quarterback next week, Bobby Hoying clone Kevin Kolb, or PETA (wanted) poster boy Michael Vick. Michael Vic...

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Michael Vick Injures His Hold-a-Dog-Underwater-Until-It's-Dead Muscle.

Funny story: Michael Vick Injures His Hold-a-Dog-Underwater-Until-It's-Dead Muscle.

During last week's game against the Washington Redskins, whose quarterback looked eerily familiar, especially when he started throwing passes to his receivers' ankles, Eagles Starting QB / Animal Rights Spokesperson Michael Vick was injured, necessit...

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10 Reasons Why The Philadelphia Eagles Can't Win The Super Bowl With - Or Without - Michael Vick.

Funny story: 10 Reasons Why The Philadelphia Eagles Can't Win The Super Bowl With - Or Without - Michael Vick.

I predicted that the Philadelphia Eagles were destined to be a mediocre team this season. "Write it on a wall," I wrote. "It can't happen any other way. Tthe 2010 Philadelphia Eagles are not built to win this year." I was kinda wrong. Let's begin at the beginning. Every fan was in shock when the Eagles signed Vick, fresh outta jail. He didn't seem to be an Eagles-type guy. But he was sign...

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Philadelphia Eagles: "We Might As Well Give Mike Kafka A Shot, Right?"

Funny story: Philadelphia Eagles: "We Might As Well Give Mike Kafka A Shot, Right?"

The Philadelphia Eagles are in a quandary: They nominated Bobby Hoying clone Kevin Kolb as the starting quarterback for the 2010 season. Kolb goes out and get a bonk on the head, and Michael Vick comes on to play --and play he does, carrying the...

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Dear Michael Vick: Keep Playing Good, So Daddy Doesn't Give Me and Mommy Boo-Boos!

Funny story: Dear Michael Vick: Keep Playing Good, So Daddy Doesn't Give Me and Mommy Boo-Boos!

Dear Michael Vick: You make Daddy happy when you play football. Mommy says we don't have to hide from Daddy in the garage when you start at QB, because the Eagles might win. Daddy even lets me sit with him when you play. I get to give him bottles of his special soda from the fridge. What does HEINEKIN spell? Mommy calls Daddy's special soda his 'mean juice', but he hardly hits us any m...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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