Yesterday, Michael Chertoff authorized a major military air-lift to evacuate victims of this weekend's disaster. He said, "These poor people are in such sorry states that it would be criminal if no one helped them. It is the only humane thing to do...
WASHINGTON - Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff has announced plans to use spy satellites, drone aircraft, and surveillance cameras to track the movements and activities of anyone who casts a shadow.
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Trying to find a perfidious, incompetent, self-preserving, justice-perverting douchebag to equal or better Alberto Gonzales's record is no mean feat but DC sources tonight are confident that Homeland Insecurity chief M...
Michael Chertoff's announcement of a "gut feeling" or "feeling in his gut" that the U.S. may be struck again by Al Qaeda terrorists should be commended and not subject to criticism by knit picking, hair splitting, cuff scoffin...
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security increased the nation's threat level to "Lavender" following the elimination of Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol Tuesday night.
NY (SN) - President Bush announced today that the inscription on the Staue of Liberty will be changed in order to combat illegal immigration and terrorism. The inscription currently reads:...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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