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Funny satire stories about Merseyside

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Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

Funny story: Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

* Inspectors found toys in appalling conditions at the house in Liverpool * The toys had been kept in squalid conditions by Raymond Coll, 66 * Mr Coll initially denied he was the owner and claimed he was a burglar * Officials also found a la...

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WIN a Chance to Play in a Merseyside Derby Winner - Andre Wisdom

Congratulations to Andre Wisdom, the winner of our competition to play in a real Merseyside Derby. Andre chose to play at right-back for Liverpool. The 19-year-old heard about our competition through a kids' football magazine, and jumped at the chance to enter. 'It has been a dream throughout my childhood to play for Manchester United. i saw the chance to play for Liverpool and decided to settl...

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King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

Funny story: King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

Anfield, Merseyside: Deep within the 'bunker' mentality that makes Liverpool FC one of the legendary world Football Clubs, sits King Brenny. Before King Brenny, on his desk, lays a reportedly 600 page dossier that highlights the new dawn! Let us...

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Merseyside police lose remote traffic helicopter

Funny story: Merseyside police lose remote traffic helicopter

Merseyside police are facing embarrassing questions today on how they lost their remote controlled traffic monitoring helicopter. "I've not exactly lost it," said Constable Ray Mote, who is in charge of the unmanned craft. "I know exactly where it...

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Liverpool v Everton Merseyside Derby Match Abandoned

Funny story: Liverpool v Everton Merseyside Derby Match Abandoned

The Merseyside derby between Everton and Liverpool was sensationally abandoned just after the half time restart today, when referee Martin Atkinson sent off all but one player. Pepe Reina, Liverpool goalkeeper was the only player left standing, af...

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BBC 'United' Drama Unlikely To Be A Hit On Merseyside

Funny story: BBC 'United' Drama Unlikely To Be A Hit On Merseyside

A BBC drama which depicts events surrounding the Munich air crash of 1958, in which 8 Manchester United players and several fellow passengers lost their lives, is unlikely to be very well received on Merseyside, a BBC insider admitted last night.

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The KOP: "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!"

Funny story: The KOP: "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!"

This WAS Anfield, Merseyside: Such is the adoration of Roy Hodgson from the 'faithfaul' Liverpool Supporters, that their chant "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England" has become the foundation of their growing 'esteem' in...

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Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

Funny story: Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

"We're not English, we're Scouse" has been the mantra for decades and in a defiant act sure to infuriate the middle class shandy drinking homo's in the South of England; Liverpool have finally woken up the fact that they are much better off (and inde...

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James Bulger Killer Back Behind Bars

Funny story: James Bulger Killer Back Behind Bars

Jon Venables, one of the killers of two-year-old James Bulger is back behind bars after breaching the terms of his release, the Ministry of Justice has said. Venables, now 27, along with his friend Robert Thompson, murdered the toddler in Bootle,...

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Merseyside Cops To Police Manchester Derby

Funny story: Merseyside Cops To Police Manchester Derby

It's just been announced that Merseyside Officers will take over crowd control duties for this Wednesday's showdown League Cup semi-final second leg tie at Old Trafford, amid fears of crowd trouble following the COMS tie last week, which City won in...

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Police constable sacked by the Nazi Party

Funny story: Police constable sacked by the Nazi Party

A police constable whose named appeared in a leaked list of tolerant left-wingers, has been sacked by the Nazi Party (NP). PC Steve Norahbatty was on a list of 21 million easy-going British people, who tend to dislike the police and like to live a...

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Septic Finger Outbreak On Merseyside

Funny story: Septic Finger Outbreak On Merseyside

NHS bosses today convened an extraordinary meeting following what can only be described as an epidemic of septic finger outbreaks on Merseyside. "The red half of Merseyside is bricking it," hospital administrator Wack McSoflaar told us. "Reds are...

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Pirates Attack Mersey Ferry

Funny story: Pirates Attack Mersey Ferry

Dramatic events today on the river Mersey as a passenger ferry was tracked down and boarded by pirates. Reports tell of how a small craft, piloted by cutthroats and brigands cut off and managed to board the ferry in order to rob passengers. Pol...

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Boris suggests second airport to replace Gatwick be located in Merseyside

Funny story: Boris suggests second airport to replace Gatwick be located in Merseyside

Hot on the heels of a Thames Estuary airport to replace Heathrow, Boris Johnson, the affable Mayor of London, has suggested that a second London airport to replace Gatwick should be built off the coast in Merseyside. He said: "Having insulted the...

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What a silly Lunt

Funny story: What a silly Lunt

The village of Lunt in Merseyside has been asked to consider changing its name because vandals keep defacing road signs in what is being termed "involuntary name-adjustment syndrome".

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Liverpool Plan To Groundshare With Everton

Funny story: Liverpool Plan To Groundshare With Everton

Liverpool Football Club have hit a snag with their ambitions to build a new £280million stadium on Stanley Park in the city, and have come up with a new plan that is bound to anger their fans.

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Liverpool Fans The Worst In Europe - Report

Funny story: Liverpool Fans The Worst In Europe - Report

Liverpool supporters are the subjects of a damning report by European football's governing body which says they are the worst in Europe. UEFA claims that Reds fans cause more trouble than those of any other club, and have hinted that, should they qua...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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