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Funny satire stories about Mercury

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Funny story: Closeup Photos Show That Saturn Does Not Have A Ring Around It, But Mercury Does

Closeup Photos Show That Saturn Does Not Have A Ring Around It, But Mercury Does

NEW YORK CITY - A team of the world's leading space scientists have just disproved the commonly held belief that the planet Saturn has a ring around it. Team leader Dr. Heinrich Von Heinrich stated that for decades everyone has believed that Satur...
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Funny story: Presidential flip-flopper heaven as Mercury goes retrograde on November 6th

Presidential flip-flopper heaven as Mercury goes retrograde on November 6th

Washington - It's bad news for the Romney Campaign as millions of undecided American voters head for the polls under the influence of a rare astrological aspect on the day of the US presidential election. Tuesday sees Mercury, planet of communicat...
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Funny story: Mercury Leak Discovered From Daybreak Presenters

Mercury Leak Discovered From Daybreak Presenters

Concerns grew once again on the humanity of breakfast TV presenters as strange discharges found on the well known sofas has been identified as mercury. MI6 have taken the extraordinary steps of sealing off the studio until further searches can be...
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Funny story: Dimmest Bulb in the Box: Obama Presents Queen with Case of Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs!

Dimmest Bulb in the Box: Obama Presents Queen with Case of Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs!

Following his flawed toast to the Queen of England following his nostalgic revisiting of his roots in Ireland, President O'bama continued his clueless knowledge of International Protocol by presenting Her Majesty with a gift wrapped case of CFL's f...
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Funny story: MESSENGER Mission Snaps Photos Of Nibiru Instead Of Mercury

MESSENGER Mission Snaps Photos Of Nibiru Instead Of Mercury

Houston, TX - Stoned NASA officials were red-faced with embarrassment today, when they realized they had made a horrible mistake. It turns out that the MESSENGER (MErcury Sure SENds Great 'ERb) Mission went to the wrong planet! Someone made a mista...
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Funny story: Messenger sends back first Mercury photos

Messenger sends back first Mercury photos

NASA's Mercury Messenger Probe has finally achieved insertion around the planet Mercury, one of the most hostile environments in the solar system. Messenger is one of NASA's usual attempts at an acronym: MErcury Surface, Space ENvironment, GEoche...
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Funny story: Mercury in the body causes homosexuality (well at least in birds it does)!

Mercury in the body causes homosexuality (well at least in birds it does)!

Over-doses of mercury found in birds (as in feathered kind) are turning them into homosexuals! A survey was made amongst a flock of White Ibises (pretty gay anyway) in Florida and their gay behaviour was caused by large amounts of mercury found in...
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Funny story: Astronomers find clunkers on Mercury

Astronomers find clunkers on Mercury

PAYSON, AZ - According to Dr. Blacken E. Ye, head astronomer at the highest telescope in Arizona Mercury is quite the "iron planet". Nasa's Messenger probe has spotted what look like crushed clunkers on the surface of the planet. These iron rich...
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Funny story: The Mercury Mission

The Mercury Mission

NASA are trying to arrange a manned mission to Mercury even although most scientists say that life could not survive on the planet because of the lack of oxygen and the intense heat. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and if you could stand...
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Funny story: Old cars contain Red Mercury, Government says.

Old cars contain Red Mercury, Government says.

The Government has announced that cars that are over ten years old 'most probably' contain Red Mercury, a substance that many scientists say does not exist. But it is widely thought that it can be used to find treasure, ward off evil spirits or even...
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Funny story: New Culinary Fad: Mercury On Everything!

New Culinary Fad: Mercury On Everything!

Following the many corporate big pharmaceutical funded scientific reports telling us that mercury in our vaccines is highly nutritious and beneficial to our brains; many celebrity chiefs have started to add it to their dishes.
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Funny story: Cost Of Living Goes Up, Cost Of Dying Goes Up More

Cost Of Living Goes Up, Cost Of Dying Goes Up More

Never mind moaning about the cost of living, the cost of dying is set to soar!...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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