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Funny story: "Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

"Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

Arlington, VA - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially recognized "Software Dementia" as a legitimate mental illness and, as such, recommends the condition be covered by health insurance providers and be included under the American...
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Funny story: Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors. The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of si...
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Funny story: Windows 8 Used to Cure the Criminally Insane

Windows 8 Used to Cure the Criminally Insane

Recent reports indicate that State Mental Hospitals across the country are treating their worst cases of insanity by forcing patients to use a computer running Windows 8 for prolonged periods of time. "It's true" confirmed a spokesperson for the...
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Funny story: U.S. Army Recruits Mentally Ill

U.S. Army Recruits Mentally Ill

Chairman Carl Levin (D-MI) and ranking member Jim Inhofe (R-OK) of Senate Armed Forces Committee got into shouting match today over Army recruiting practices at today's committee hearing. The background is that 25% of soldiers currently serving in...
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Funny story: New DSM V Disorder: Gun Fetishist's Separation Anxiety

New DSM V Disorder: Gun Fetishist's Separation Anxiety

The new DSM V categorization of psychiatric disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association as a new description of separation anxiety and a new category of fetishes. In the DSM IV these disorders related only to people. But now they h...
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Funny story: "Well, if I have to tell you" Is Baffling to Most Men

"Well, if I have to tell you" Is Baffling to Most Men

In an intimate romantic relationship between a man and a woman, it is inevitable that at some point the woman will say a sentence that begins with the words "Well, if I have to tell you." Depending on the specific relationship, sentences of this type...
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Funny story: New DSM-IV Mental Disorder Category For Tea Party

New DSM-IV Mental Disorder Category For Tea Party

DSM-IV Codes are the classification found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition, Text Revision, also known as DSM-IV-TR, a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) that includes all currently...
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Funny story: Reporting On Arrest of "El Chapo" Es Estupido

Reporting On Arrest of "El Chapo" Es Estupido

Andy Warhorse, President of the American Psychology Board, today praised American Journalists for helping to reduce tension among readership in U.S. newspapers. "The almost complete omission of historical background or context to the reporting of...
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Funny story: Homophobic Man struggles with his Fear

Homophobic Man struggles with his Fear

Dateline: New York--Morris Jenkins suffers from a debilitating fear of homosexuals, commonly called homophobia. When in the presence of gay people, he ceases to function. "I remember the first time the terror struck me," he said. "I was at work on my computer, sitting in my cubicle, and a co-worker told me he's gay. My lower lip quivered, I screamed like I was looking into the face of Death, an...
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Funny story: Young Woman miraculously ignores her Beauty and studies Philosophy

Young Woman miraculously ignores her Beauty and studies Philosophy

PITTSBURGH--Lisa Prettysweet, an achingly beautiful 26-year old, stunned her family and friends by showing the slightest interest in philosophy. Predictably, her reading of philosophy has made her more skeptical, pessimistic, and cynical and her pare...
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Funny story: Hope for Sufferers from Crazy Uncle Syndrome

Hope for Sufferers from Crazy Uncle Syndrome

Dateline: NEW YORK--Leo Cornwallis belongs to roughly the third of modern male siblings that suffer from Crazy Uncle Syndrome, according to the Sociological Index of Abnormality. But Leo and a growing number of others like him have sought to mitigate...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle has a boyfriend

Susan Boyle has a boyfriend

LONDON (TS!) - Singer Susan Boyle says she has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism which has caused her to scare away men. Boyle told the Observer newspaper that she saw a specialist a year ago, who told her she had Asperger'...
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Funny story: Arizona To Build A Mental Health Facility That Can House 30,000 Patients

Arizona To Build A Mental Health Facility That Can House 30,000 Patients

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer has just made a much anticipated announcement from her governor's mansion in Phoenix. She told the assembled news media that plans have been finalized on a new 30,000 mental patient facility to be built just outside t...
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Funny story: Brit social workers branded 'f***ing Gestapo' for sedating woman before cutting and snatching baby from her womb

Brit social workers branded 'f***ing Gestapo' for sedating woman before cutting and snatching baby from her womb

Essex - "And you thought the Nazis were dead and buried along with Hitler?" a constitutional expert in Human Frights law said today amid British headlines describing how an Italian woman holidaying in the UK was sedated against her will and subjected...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus diagnosed with CTD (compulsive tongue disorder)

Miley Cyrus diagnosed with CTD (compulsive tongue disorder)

Miley Cyrus's tongue activity has drawn a lot of attention, including this comment, rumored to have come from the Queen: "I'm sick and tired of seeing that girl's tongue." Medical and psychiatric professionals are also weighing in. Tongue spe...
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Funny story: Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Responsible pet owner Brentson Whitman, 32, quietly and carefully fulfilled the social contract to care for the waste deposited by his three year old Jack Russell Terrier "Oscar Wilde" by delicately and silently removing the small coil of doggy-doo...
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Funny story: NSA Scandal Frees Local Spinster From Mental Hospital

NSA Scandal Frees Local Spinster From Mental Hospital

Philadelphia, PA-- Recent revelations about spying by the NSA (Nazi Scum Agency) has lead to the release of a local woman from the mental hospital. Miss Vicky Smegma was institutionalized in 2009 after she told her doctor the government was spying o...
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Funny story: I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

Donor kebab has said it is tired of being a late-night booty call and wants men to admit to their relationship when sober and not only after consuming twenty-five Jaeger-bombs and enough ketamine to knock out a small bear. The statement came after...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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