A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...
Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report.
Panel head Vice President Joe Biden put it this way: "Before we g...
by Robert James Helper, future murderer
With the events in Connecticut this week, a lot of Americans are finally starting to ask if stricter gun control is the key to preventing these types of tragedies from occurring. This argument is pretty sound: fewer guns, fewer killings with guns. I think all Americans should be able to agree that new gun regulations are a necessary and vital component fo...
BILLINGSGATE POST - The Cayman Institute of LaFontaine College announced today in its eponymously named journal that solitude has been found to be the best cure for those suffering from terminal loneliness. The Cayman Institute is chaired by Dr. Vis...
Therapist clicks on Dictaphone following session.
No new people. Joan Rivers kept bringing her daughter and dog, and we had to kick her out. The daughter has mommy issues: not my field. Arsenio Hall got another show, and was so eager to book Bell Biv Devoe that he skipped out the door. "I'm so glad he has to suffer no more," said Ann Curry. "The world was unfair to him."
We've got a...
Home Office sources have revealed that the Government is to take urgent action over the definition of "senior moments."
Everyone over a certain age knows the anxiety that goes with moments like walking into a room, only to forget why.
But top...
The NHS is preparing for victims of a new form of Dementia which not only causes memory loss but results in a complete lack of any moral standards.
It is call Murdocophobia and the start of the disease has been established as being in Wapping, Eas...
Bartholomew Utterswaithe (65), a former Street Gas Lamp Wick-trimmer, lighter, and extinguisher from Nottingham, is the first person to be officially graded/classified as a 'Binge Spoofer' by the NHS.
We visited Mr Utterswaithe's GP, a very pretty...
Brain scientists estimate that 25 percent of the US population suffer from paranoia. The condition has become widespread due to various causal factors that include mind altering drugs, tracking cookies on computers and even films like The Truman Show...
Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...
London - Her Black Dog Tribe website famously crashed when self-confessed WMD 'dodgy dossier' sexer-upper Alistair Campbell published his online heir (sic) restorative recipe last year - promoting the 'sanity' of a balding Prince Charles.
Today th...
A recent scientific study to determine the age when the human brain starts to show a significant decline in it's reasoning powers has found that it's no later than forty. This is much earlier than was determined by a different team of scientists in 2...
Alcohol researchers have finally discovered that heavy drinking affects the brain.
After 44 unsuccessful results, researchers at Carlsburg University recently came up with a winning study. They got 10,000 'initially reluctant' volunteers to consum...
Our brains start to deteriorate from as young as 45, according to a thingy - you know, a wossname - published yesterday... or was it the day before?
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... this thingy, in the online version of the British Medical Journal,...
People with mental health issues have a very unique need for a specific application for their condition.
This is where the latest offering from Apple Core Labs comes in.
"It's called iShrink," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "And I have to ad...
Statistics from the Royal Freak Hospital published today show everybody 'except the Duke of Gloucester and his family' are on the chemical cosh after massive misbehaviour issues.
And latest recruit to the Nazi tribe Kate Middleton is thought to be...
The definitive guide to what is a mental illness and what is normal behaviour is due for release at the end of the month.
Previous additions to the tome have been ADHD and body dismorphia.
"Until it is in the book," said the Handbook's editor,...
The World Health Organisation spokesman, Dr D.Seez, has revealed the new diseases identified in 2012 to date. Along with the symptoms, and those most at risk of contracting them.
Named Disease: HAJ (Had-a-job) Syndrome
Symptoms: Being made redundant through no fault of your own, suicidal feelings, lack of food, and the disappearance of respect.
Most at Risk: The proletariat, anyone not relate...