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Funny story: Ham-fisted idea becomes a reality

Ham-fisted idea becomes a reality

A British man has become the first person in the world to undergo a revolutionary new form of surgery to restore his hands, which were horrifically destroyed years ago while he was wrestling a wild boar. Manuel Trotter, 45, of Scunthorpe, now has mec...
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Funny story: Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Los Angeles, CA (STT News) - People of the world - learn to like bugs. That's the message recently released by Dr. Falter O. Longer, director of the USC's Elitist Longevity Institute. The study by the institute states clearly that things like meat,...
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Funny story: India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

NEW DELHI, India - The country of India, like most of the world's countries, has been going through a tough time economically. The Taj Mahal National News Agency has just announced some shocking news coming out of the nation's capital of New Delhi...
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Funny story: A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Waterloo Zottbergen has been growing cabbage for the past 29 years and in that time he has made a very good living out of it. But he recently discovered a way to grow cabbage that tastes exactly like a filet mignon steak. Zo...
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Funny story: New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

According to a police report, a hot dog street vendor attacked a man on the street without warning but the hot dog salesman has a different story. My date and I were walking hand-in-hand down the street when we saw the hot dog guy across the stree...
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Funny story: Hundreds suffering after new legislation on pork injections

Hundreds suffering after new legislation on pork injections

Butte, Montana. Hundreds of people have been taken ill in Montana this week with food poisoning, following the state's recent decision to change its laws regarding animal slaughter. Since last month, all abattoirs must by law kill animals by lethal i...
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Funny story: World's first butcher for vegetarians opens

World's first butcher for vegetarians opens

A butcher shop called "Dripping" has opened in London this week which aims to sell ethically produced meats to vegetarians and other overly sensitive eaters. Ex-banker Cedric Smythe-Giles says that he decided to create the shop to satisfy the demands...
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Funny story: Traces of jockeys found in horse burgers

Traces of jockeys found in horse burgers

The Food Standard Agency have revealed that traces of jockey DNA have been found in Supermarket Value Horse Burgers, to the shock of meat industry experts and consumers alike. Food tester Fatima Eton found the DNA, and claimed that it could not easil...
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Funny story: Housemate found in Beefburger

Housemate found in Beefburger

Shoppers in England and Ireland today were shocked to discover that Beefburgers stocked by many of the leading supermarkets have been found to contain meat from former 'Big Brother' housemate Jade Goody. DNA testing by the Irish Food Standard Agen...
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Funny story: Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Indian vegetarians have discovered that since McDonalds opened a chain of veggy restaurants in the country sex crimes have been reduced by 25% and men lying to their wives has radically been reduced by 50%! Non-consumption of meat products tends t...
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Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
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Funny story: British car industry launches two new vehicles

British car industry launches two new vehicles

Two British car manufacturers have today launched vehicles in an attempt to revive the long-dead British motor industry. As well as being stylish, competitively priced and highly desirable, the Rover Sirloin and the Vauxhall Giblet are also very envi...
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Funny story: 'Meateor' delivers Lady Gaga's new alien outfit

'Meateor' delivers Lady Gaga's new alien outfit

London - Carnivore chic fans said today that a meteor (sic) carrying up to 100 metres of subtle flesh-toned alien scrag-end beef jerky was seen streaking across UK skies last night. Witnesses jammed police switchboards with reports that the galact...
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Funny story: Empowered Women's Groups Successfully Boycott Canned Meat Producers

Empowered Women's Groups Successfully Boycott Canned Meat Producers

With corporate quarterly earnings significantly down for multiple manufacturers of canned meat products, some women's groups are declaring a victory after a year of boycott effort. Targeting some traditional men's favorites like sardines, corned b...
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Funny story: Don't Fry for Me Argentina

Don't Fry for Me Argentina

Following one of the longest and largest Carnival celebrations this year, filled with fried pastries and deep fried potatoes and meats, the Argentinean Medical Board is urging all residents to make healthier food choices during Lent. Commenting on...
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Funny story: Dutch scientists grow synthetic meat

Dutch scientists grow synthetic meat

Meat scientists at the University of Leiden in the Netherlands have developed a synthetic hamburger which could revolutionise the food industry. It could potentially replace the use of real animals in meat production, which would help protect sensiti...
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Funny story: New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...
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Funny story: Gaga burned in BBQ accident

Gaga burned in BBQ accident

Austin, Texas -- Lady Gaga was seriously singed in a barbecue mishap last night, apparently sparked by her famous meat dress, which caused a case of mistaken identity. "We thought she was the side of beef trying to escape from the pen," said Dilly...
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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