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Philip's fury at Queen's Mayan Apocalypse plan to dump him in India on 'holiday-of-a-lifetime'

Funny story: Philip's fury at Queen's Mayan Apocalypse plan to dump him in India on 'holiday-of-a-lifetime'

London - "Daft old cow's been reading too many bloody tabloid headlines, what?" the old curmudgeon snarled at Palace footmen today as details of the plot emerged. "Why, only this morning the stupid bat asked me if I'd seen the effin' story and ask...

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Sofia Vergara To Appear in The 2013 All-Nude Mayan Apocalypse Calendar

Funny story: Sofia Vergara To Appear in The 2013 All-Nude Mayan Apocalypse Calendar

VENICE BEACH, California - The star of the hit sit-com Modern Family, Sofia Vergara was having lunch at The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant in Venice Beach when she received a phone call. The caller was Axton P. Zipplecross, Jr, who is the owner and...

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Local estate agent charged with 'dogging' at Barking Doomsday shelter

Funny story: Local estate agent charged with 'dogging' at Barking Doomsday shelter

Isle of Dogs - Five c**nts of outraging pubic decency have been brought against local London K9 postal district estate agent Darren Stucco following an 'incident' at Barking's Mayan Doomsday Prophecy emergency shelter. The emergency facility is ca...

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Bookies besieged for Mayan Calendar doomsday odds

Funny story: Bookies besieged for Mayan Calendar doomsday odds

Cyberspace - An online bookmakers has reported a wall of money currently topping $100 million in pre-Winter Solstice bets about specific long shot events occurring to fulfill the Mayan Calendar prophecy. Top of the doomsday list is Brit hoaxer mon...

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Armageddinouttahere! Wiccans rubbish Mayan calendar prophecy exodus

Funny story: Armageddinouttahere! Wiccans rubbish Mayan calendar prophecy exodus

Stonehenge, Wilts - A British coven based near the prehysteric monument of Stonehenge has tipped off the press about the government's Doomsday plans for members of the Cabinet and the royal family. "They're all legging it to a nuke-proof 'austeri...

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Mayan apocalypse: Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver voted favourites to save us

Funny story: Mayan apocalypse: Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver voted favourites to save us

The online poll of 2,000 Brits carried out by EndPoll for online movie provider 'blankbox', revealed that 57% of people were aware of the Mayan prophecy of the apocalypse and 13% confessed to being worried. More than one in four respondents put th...

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12/12/12 Sandy Relief Concert 'freaking out CIA numerologists'

Funny story: 12/12/12 Sandy Relief Concert 'freaking out CIA numerologists'

New York - A famous Manhattan concert venue featured as a post-apocalyptic 'Obamascare' assisted suicide facility in the 1973 movie Soylent Green is at the core of a major paranormal scare this weekend. FEMA officials reviewing post-Superstorm San...

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Scientists: No Mayan Apocalypse December 21

Scientists have unanimously concluded there is no cause for alarm. There will be no Mayan apocalypse--or Mayageddon as it is more affectionately known--on December 21 resulting in the end of the world. Spokesman for the scientific com...

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Obama Plan to Extend Mayan Calander - Approval by Drop Dead Date Doubtful

Washington, D.C. - The Obama administration announced today, that the President has submitted a plan to Congress that would require the GPO (Gov. Printing Office), to revise and extend the Mayan calendar for at least one year. With the Congress...

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Third Mayan stone inscription says 'Sorry for the f**k-up, soothsayers OD'd on peyote!"

Funny story: Third Mayan stone inscription says 'Sorry for the f**k-up, soothsayers OD'd on peyote!"

La Corona, Guatemala - The Mayan end-of-daze Calendar has been finally outed as total crap after archaeologists found a turd - er...third! - vital clue in some ancient masonry. Newly discovered tablets from a Guatemalan apothecary's cave poo-poo t...

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'Mayan Calendar' crop circle or Aztec Roulette Wheel?

Funny story: 'Mayan Calendar' crop circle or Aztec Roulette Wheel?

London - Ufologists fighting for a share of the lucrative Gemini Solar Eclipse prediction market centered on Sunday night's occultation are having none of it, of course. They're siding with Mexican cereologist Jamie Maussan's claims that the 2004...

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Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

Funny story: Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

MEXICO CITY-People around the world are now saying "Mayan who?" as it appears that the ancient civilization known as the Mixtec have miraculously foretold the exact time and day when their calendar will come to an end. The Mixtec, who originated...

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Super Bowl Loser to be Executed in Prime Time

Funny story: Super Bowl Loser to be Executed in Prime Time

NEW YORK, N.Y. -- In a dramatic and controversial move to boost television ratings, Fox News today announced the quarterback of this weekend's losing Super Bowl team will be electrocuted on a special live show following the game. A Fox spokesman said...

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Challenging French rural eco plumbing freaks out pilgrims to Bugarach apocalypse site

Funny story: Challenging French rural eco plumbing freaks out pilgrims to Bugarach apocalypse site

Aude, France - A camper van convoy heading south to the apocalyptic 2012 town of Bugarach is threatening to sue UK tour operators HippyWheels amid a gruelling three day experience of local extreme plumbing. Treacherous wintry conditions saw the cl...

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Office Intersection to Sell Mace and Ninja Weapons

Funny story: Office Intersection to Sell Mace and Ninja Weapons

Office Intersection, a major big box office supply retailer, announced this week that they will begin selling mace due to the increase in popularity of using the spray to settling arguments, get the toy you want, or if you just don't like the way som...

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Mayan Calendar's Comalcalco Brick shows 1/12/2011 'is new Apocalypse date'

Funny story: Mayan Calendar's Comalcalco Brick shows 1/12/2011 'is new Apocalypse date'

Mexico - Stargazers at Mexico's National Institute for Anthropology, History and Mayan Calendar Rants have published new evidence from temple ruin brick fragments at Tortuguero, Tabasco State. Glyphs representing a Venus conjunction 'with a myster...

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