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Funny story: New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

The Government is introducing a new programme for schools, starting this week. A mix up somewhere in the Ministry of Education has led to the ideas for Maths and Literature being confused. Former Minister of Education, Michael Guv, explained that...
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Funny story: 9 Year Old Solves Centuries-old Math Problem

9 Year Old Solves Centuries-old Math Problem

Fibonacci, OH - A 3rd-grader from Fibonacci, Ohio has solved a mathematical concept that has perplexed mathematicians for centuries. Nine year old Samantha Integral was doing her homework when she overheard her mother talking on the telephone. She h...
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Funny story: Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Kansas City, MO - Despite always on-going efforts to increase the impact of their greeting cards, Hallmark Cards has confirmed that - in the opinions of the thousands of mothers polled each year - none of the cards in their line of Mother's Day cards...
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Funny story: Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics would not exist in an independent Scotland. The startling revelation was made today in a speech by First Minister Alex Salmond, where he outlined more of his plans for the country in the event of a Yes vote. The shock announcement...
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Funny story: Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Professor Stephen Hawking. has disclosed that maths teachers have been kidding about J, the square root of minus one. It apparently does not exist in the natural universe. A market trader from Basildon blew the whistle on the myth on Saturday mor...
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Funny story: Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...
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Funny story: New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...
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Funny story: Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Mathematicians at Keswick University have produced a proof that shows how to fit a square peg into a round hole. "Using topological manipulation calculations," said theoretical mathematician, Patience Tested, "we have successfully transmogrified a...
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Funny story: Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Statistics is a funny science. The process of collecting and interpreting data can often lead to some unpleasant, odd, or belief-defying answers. It doesn't always yield perfect results, but like any scientific endeavor, we can be sure more often than not that our work, if done correctly, leads us to the truth. But of all the claims we can make using statistics, perhaps the most outrageous is the...
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Funny story: Mathematical Model Predicts Politicians Behavior

Mathematical Model Predicts Politicians Behavior

New York NY: The Columbia University School of Abnormal Psychology has developed a mathematical computer model to predict the interests of current and former political figures after they leave office. Professor Freud (no relation to Sigmund) expla...
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Funny story: Romney writes off 47% of the voters as "Trailer Trash"

Romney writes off 47% of the voters as "Trailer Trash"

SUNSHINE MOBILE HOME PARK, FL (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney visited a mobile home park deep within Florida's Sun Coast on Tuesday. He was shocked to learn that 47% per cent of all US citizens live in "long, narrow boxes sided...
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Funny story: Maths A Level student uses Banach-Tarski paradox to prove twice as many students actually got A or A* as passed the exams at the top two grades

Maths A Level student uses Banach-Tarski paradox to prove twice as many students actually got A or A* as passed the exams at the top two grades

Faced with being on the borderline for acceptance to his preferred university place, an eighteen-year-old from Basingstoke has written a letter to the university's Maths department purporting to show that although he was awarded a B grade in Maths, i...
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Funny story: Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn. "We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant...
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Funny story: Obama Announces Initiative to Find Divisibility Test for 7

Obama Announces Initiative to Find Divisibility Test for 7

President Obama announced that for the remainder of his presidential term, his administration's primary security initiative will be to find a divisibility test for the number 7. "A divisibility test for 7 has been a sort of Holy Grail, eluding us...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Sloths Can Do Math

Scientists Discover Sloths Can Do Math

Top Slothologist Benny Jones has made, quite frankly, one of the most ground breaking although slowest discoveries about the South American mammal in the 21st century. Sloths not only count and can solve mathematical equations, but they do so usi...
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Funny story: Demi Moore Enters Celebrity Math Rehab

Demi Moore Enters Celebrity Math Rehab

Palm Springs, CA - Filming began this week for this season's Celebrity Math Rehab where actress Demi Moore, 49, has settled in quite nicely. Moore was the last of the celebrities to join the cast, and only agreed to do so with pressure from many...
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Funny story: New Calculator Released with Infinity Buttons

New Calculator Released with Infinity Buttons

Math fanatics will be more happy with the new calculator released by the Basyang Electronics Company. The newly-released calculator, with code LB-143EZ, adds two new buttons, negative (-?) and postive (+?) infinity. This allows the user to create...
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Funny story: NASA with novel idea: traveling to moon will get kids interested in math and science

NASA with novel idea: traveling to moon will get kids interested in math and science

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fl.- Although President Obama insists that trying to land on an asteroid would be much more interesting, NASA is pushing ahead with its plans to revisit an old friend: the moon. Like a tipsy uncle at a family gathering, NASA is con...
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Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

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