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Funny satire stories about Martin Shuttlecock

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Funny story: Local Man Gets The Hump

Local Man Gets The Hump

TITCHFIELD - UK - Local man Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he's really got the hump. According to sources he's apparently got the hump so badly that at one point he was considering the random use of exclamation marks. Apparently it all sta...
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Funny story: Candles ignite stripper's fart: explosion injures 20 Shriners in Massachusetts!

Candles ignite stripper's fart: explosion injures 20 Shriners in Massachusetts!

SPRINGIELD, Massachusetts (ABSNN) - A nude dancer performing an "amazing, near flawless split" accidentally passed gas and nearby table candles ignited the fart "causing a huge natural gas explosion at the Scores Gentlemen's Club," say fire fighters...
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Funny story: The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The dearth of news emanating from Martin and Anne Shuttlecock's locally based address recently has led to a great deal of speculation. Some observers assumed that the happily inept couple have gone into retirement, or at the very least, semi-retir...
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Funny story: Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

LEICESTER, England (ABSNN) - A whole lot of people who believed the male skeleton found beneath a parking lot in this English city was King Richard III, who was slain during the War of the Roses, an English Civil War, were disappointed when DNA testi...
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Funny story: Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

A local man has threatened to respond to what he described as "the ultimate insult" by performing in a You Tube skit - impersonating his own brother. And making him look a right 'twat'. Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and pioneering satir...
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Funny story: In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, announced today that Felix Baumgartner wasn't the only man on the planet pushing himself to the limits of human endurance, as Shuttlecock himself became involved in pushing personal boundaries to the limit. As Felix...
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Funny story: Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Esther Rantzen In Denial Over Jimmy Savile Scandal Asserts Local Man

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today made the controversial assertion that Childline mouthpiece, Esther Rantzen, knows more than she's letting on about the Jimmy Savile paedophile allegations, before going on to say that she appears to be in denial a...
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Funny story: Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, still in a state of mourning following the death of his father last week, today described how he visited a funeral director in order to make arrangements for the impending cremation. "I went to the registraer's office yesterday to register the death," Shuttlecock said. "They give you a green sheet which confirms certification of death, and grants legal permission...
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Funny story: British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

DALLAS, TEXAS (ABSNN) - The masked, knife wielding robber who stole $500 in cash and a $150 penis pump from a Dallas adult video store today was apprehended only four hours later at Parkland Memorial Hospital according to the DPD. "We got a ph...
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Funny story: Local Man Describes The Last Week As: "A Bit Shit Really"

Local Man Describes The Last Week As: "A Bit Shit Really"

Local man and sometime Skoob News correspondent, Martin Shuttlecock, today explained that on a purely personal level, the last seven days have been: "A bit shit. To be honest." Upon being asked for further details, Shuttlecock revealed that last Sunday evening as he was browsing his favourite satirical website, his internet connection went down. As the hour was somewhat late, Shuttlecock decid...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations." The very best rating is "A." The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!

Mitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!

CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - The face of Republican Presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, "miraculously appeared" on a urinal mint, in the toilet of the Monk's Quarters, in this small Jesuit Convent tucked away in the foothills of west-central Wes...
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Funny story: Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Local Man Hides In Shed Again Following Internet Beasting

Notorious shed refugee, Martin Shuttlecock, who traditionally cuts and runs when the going gets tough, has apparently fled to the sanctuary of his garden shed again - for only the 345th time this year, after being mauled by way of a change by well in...
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Funny story: Russia's Putin still as "Studly" as ever at 60

Russia's Putin still as "Studly" as ever at 60

MOSCOW (ABSNN) - Vladimir Putin may be getting along in years, but he "is still as studly as ever," he said in an interview with geriatric reporter, Martin Shuttlecock. "He's but a lad, a mere slip of a boy," Shuttlecock wrote. "Vital, I'm vita...
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Funny story: Defiant Local Man Sets Up Home On Cemetery Bench

Defiant Local Man Sets Up Home On Cemetery Bench

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, last night reportedly had set up a temporary abode on a bench in Titchfield Cemetery, following a horrendous argument with long suffering wife, Anne, regarding the appropriate applications available for 'real' gravy, as...
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Funny story: Defrocked Jesuit Francois DuBois Of West 'By God!' Virginia To Open Premium Rate Telephone Confessional

Defrocked Jesuit Francois DuBois Of West 'By God!' Virginia To Open Premium Rate Telephone Confessional

Disgraced Jesuit, and go-getting entrepreneur, Francois DuBois, of West 'By GOD!' Virginia, today announced that he will soon be opening a premium rate telephone confessional service, for people who lead such busy lives that they don't have the time...
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Funny story: Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, long suffering wife of renowned idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that she has sold her intolerable other half for £1.99 online. In a statement issued to reporters, Anne Shuttlecock revealed that the final st...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Failing satirist, buffoon of long standing, idiot, crap diplomat, pariah, awful cook, bad husband, and beer guzzling, chain smoking idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today embarked upon a lunatic quest intended to restore to at least some degree, his points standing on satirical website www.thespoof.com. By hitting the lowest common denominator...and surfing the net for porn. Here, he explains the...
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