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Funny satire stories about Mars Bars

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Martians: Earth Day, Phooey! We Want a Mars Day!

Funny story: Martians: Earth Day, Phooey! We Want a Mars Day!

The little green creatures have made up their minds that they aren't going to sit silently through another Earth Day while their own planet remains unrecognized. No siree! Yesterday a bunch of Martians held a protest on the steps of the main bran...

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Sexist pastor renames Mars Hill Church the Marianne Faithfull Temple

Funny story: Sexist pastor renames Mars Hill Church the Marianne Faithfull Temple

Seattle - A Seattle megachurch pastor is in the doghouse for renaming his Mars Hill Church after an iconic 60s fellatio moment involving Rolling Stone Mick Jagger and a former girlfriend. The Reverend Mark Driscoll's makeover sees a new shrine, th...

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Planet Mars Reports "I've Got a Secret"

Funny story: Planet Mars Reports "I've Got a Secret"

Well, actually, make that plural: SECRETS. There's definitely more than one. NASA is being tightlipped, only saying that the rover Curiosity has discovered something exciting that warrants further investigation. Supposedly more info is forth...

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Europe Launches Attack on Mars

Funny story: Europe Launches Attack on Mars

Brussels based bureaucrats have launched an astonishing attack on Mars...but don't worry we are not heading into interplanetary warfare...yet. The Mars in question is Scotland's favourite, chocolate-based, fried food - The Mars Bar. Euro-crats...

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Scottish FA announce new sponsor

Funny story: Scottish FA announce new sponsor

After the shock parting of the ways between Tennants and the Scottish FA, the Scottish footballing body has acted quickly to fill the gap. The Scottish based drinks company has made the decision after David Tennant left the popular BBC drama, Doc...

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Mervyn King on Northern Rock says "buy Mars bars"

Funny story: Mervyn King on Northern Rock says "buy Mars bars"

London (Phantom press) - It's been a bad week for the BOE governor after a grilling from the select committee on the Northern Rock fiasco.

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New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

Funny story: New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

After the recent Foot & Mouth, E-Coli and Legionnaires Disease outbreaks, a new scare has this morning raised calls from health officials for a total ban on Mars Bars.

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Mars Rover finds evidence of variant-CJD

Funny story: Mars Rover finds evidence of variant-CJD

NASA HQ - (Ass Mess): Scientists have reported that the Mars Rover has found evidence of the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease variant - or mad cow disease as it is more commonly known -in the new recipie Mars bars which now use bovine offal products instead...

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Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs

Funny story: Mars Bars to be added to Calf's Stomachs

Dairy farmers have today revealed plans to add liquidized Mars Bars to calf's stomachs in an attempt to produce chocolate flavoured beef.

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Mars Bars Contain Beef!

Funny story: Mars Bars Contain Beef!

Masterfoods, the producers of household names such as Mars, Snickers and Malteasers, have announced that genetically modified animal ingredients are used in its chocolate snacks.

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Shambo Sold to Masterfoods to Make Sacred Mars Bars

Funny story: Shambo Sold to Masterfoods to Make Sacred Mars Bars

In a cruel twist of fate sacred bull Shambo who is suffering from bovine TB will be sacrificed and sold on to the Masterfoods group, who have recently announced that they are adding mashed up dead baby calf to their previously popular chocolate bars.

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A Dead Calf a Day Helps You Work Rest and Play

Funny story: A Dead Calf a Day Helps You Work Rest and Play

Masterfoods today confirmed that it will adding mashed up dead baby calf in all of its most popular chocolate bars including Mars, Twix and Milky Way.

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Mars Bars no loner safe for vegetarian oral sex says Marianne Faithfull

Funny story: Mars Bars no loner safe for vegetarian oral sex says Marianne Faithfull

London - (Ass Mess): Marianne Faithfull has told an anal general meeting of the vegetarian society that mars bars are no longer safe for oral sex.

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Obesity Is Good For The Economy - Claim

Funny story: Obesity Is Good For The Economy - Claim

A report by the World Health Organisation (WHO?) has said that, despite the obvious health implications for those that suffer from it, obesity has a positive effect on the world's economy.

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