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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...

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FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

Funny story: FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

The Football Association has announced that, in order to "address the perceived unfairness in domestic football", it will introduce a new scheme whereby teams that 'should have won' will be awarded the three points. The scheme will be operated by...

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Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Funny story: Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Scotland head coach Alex McLeish urged his young players to show him they've "got a pair" against Israel on Thursday. After their shambolic defeat he apparently lined them all up in the dressing room and used calipers to measure their tackle before s...

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"Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Funny story: "Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, insists he can "cope with the manhunt" against him as he was forced to admit that Saturday's match against Newcastle was a fiasco, with his team 2-0 down after 10 minutes. Denying rumours that he had consu...

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Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

Funny story: Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

The sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, is that, after their worst start to a Premier League season for 29 years, Manchester United have put their manager, Jose Mourinho, into a sack. That is, he's been sacked - 'in my mind'.

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Manchesters Marketing Reach

As crisis club Manchester United lurch from one disaster to another on the pitch, their marketing team have been adding dozens of feathers to their already impressively-feathered cap. Moments after United’s impressively-tepid 0-0 draw with Valenci...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...

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Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Funny story: Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Crystal Palace manager, Roy Hodgson is concerned at star player Wilfried Zaha's claim that "I will have to get my leg broken" before an opponent is sent off for fouling him. Hodgson is now inviting opposing defenders into the Palace dressing room for...

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Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

Funny story: Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

After the apparent controversy between manager Jose Mourinho and player Paul Pogba at the Manchester United training ground this week, and Mourinho's statement that "No player is bigger than the club", a protest has been lodged by Stoke City strike...

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Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

Funny story: Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

A man who has supported Manchester United 'all his life', has claimed he is the greatest Reds fan of all time. The man, who can't be named due to the possibility he might be attacked by other crazed MUFC fans who think that they, themselves, are t...

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Football Gossip, more tales for September

Funny story: Football Gossip, more tales for September

Arsenal's Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, 34, has rubbished reports of retirement and claims he has the body of a 28-year-old and that body belongs to his girlfriend, Brazilian pornstar Fifi La Bumba. Lichtsteiner has made one substitute a...

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Football Gossip. September 2018

Funny story: Football Gossip. September 2018

Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...

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Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Funny story: Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Angry Manchester United fans raised a call today for crowdfunding an appeal to get their team's manager, José Mourinho, jailed after he reached a deal with the Spanish state on a one-year suspended sentence in a long-running tax fraud case. Famous...

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The Pre-Season Games

Professional “bitcher” and part time Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has claimed unless he’s allowed to sign all the players he wants, United could have a “very difficult season”. He is quoted as saying: "My CEO knows what I want. I k...

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Harry Maguire Turns Down Manchester United Move As He Fucking Hates Them

Funny story: Harry Maguire Turns Down Manchester United Move As He Fucking Hates Them

Harry Maguire, the Leicester City and England defender, has turned down the opportunity to join Manchester United, saying he fucking hates them. Maguire, 25, was born in Sheffield, and has always been a Sheffield United supporter. As such, there...

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Cup Final Review

Despite spending the GDP of a medium sized country Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has ended the season as empty handed as the homeless people who were forced out of Windsor for the Royal wedding. The final itself was an affair completely d...

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Open Mouthed Banter

After the greatest team in the world was denied a definite FA cup final win by Manchester United people have been up in arms about a “tweet” sent from the official FA account about Harry Kane. Normally Harry is only up in arms about the sun setting a...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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