Revolutionary visionary football guru Pep Guardiola has already placed his delicate mark of excellence over the Premier League. He has told professional athletes that "pizza" is banned. We believe this is to stop Gael Clichy ordering Dominos while he...
Pep has been in place for a few weeks now and City's head honcho has managed to work out exactly why the team under achieved last season.
Yes, you can assume that City will not be announcing Pizza Express as their official Pizza Partner...
The final matches of the season for the Premier League this weekend have been seen by several mystics and they have been contacting Spoof Football reporter John Westam.
They forsee an astonishing end to the season with West Ham ending the season i...
After the dire performances of all English clubs in the European Champions League the FA (Football Association for our US friends) has decided to withdraw all English clubs because it is fed up having an embarrassing red nose every time it has to exp...
A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...
Liverpool are close to being a pain in the ass again as their fans are on the brink of regaining their status as the most obnoxiously arrogant in England.
Once the cocky, hubcap nicking Kings of the terraces, Liverpool have had their sense of smu...
New Manchester City coach Manuel Pellegrini used his first press conference to insist that he is here for the long term.
"I intend to impose a certain playing style on City, through my methods and ideas we will-"
Manuel was cut off as a burly a...
Sir Alex Ferguson, the outgoing manager of Premier League champions Manchester United, is to be unveiled later this week as the new manager of arch-rivals, and last year's champions, Manchester City.
Sir Alex, 81, handed in his resignation letter...
A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'.
After being involved in Man City's dreadful exhibition of anti-football played by a bunch of multi-millionaire cheats, Signor Balotelli, innocently, was booed off of the Dortmund pitch by 86000 laughing, happy Germans (unusual occurrence; apart from...
Job losses at Manchester City FC will see Manchester lose its title as the world's biggest marketing centre, by the number of employees registered.
City will lose its dominance because of a shift to the East Stand, combined with over-enthusiasm, e...
England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed.
Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings.
Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated.
If they go on the pitch thinking...
Joey Barton broke down in tears today as details emerged that his on/off transfer to Marseille in France was OFF.
A broken hearted Barton tweeted today "Been forced to go back training with the kids and fellow Taliban members at 2pm today..."...
Swansea's excellent start to the season has caught the eye of Barcelona's Cesc Fabregas, who used Twitter to pay tribute to Michael Laudrup's side.
Sounds like another ex-Arsenal player wanting to join a club at the top of the table.
Celtic have initiated talks with Auxerre over the transfer of Willy Boly as manager Neil Lennon seeks a dominant centre-half.
(Mail on Sunday)
AIK Stockholm fans took their "12th man" role to the extreme when they travelled to the hotel of their club's Europa League opponents, CSKA Moscow, and set off fireworks in the middle of the night.
The fans later apologised and blamed Stockholm Syndrome.
Everton manager David Moyes has pulled off another coup by signing 17-year-old French wonderkid M'Baye Niang for £2m from Caen.
West Ham co-owner David Sullivan has revealed the Hammers still owe more than £10m to Sheffield United over the "Carlos Tevez affair"
They're repaying at 50p per week.
Manager Roberto Mancini has been ordered by Manchester City's Abu Dhabi owners to stop his public attacks on football director Brian Marwood.
Mancini has decided to go back to the anonymous lett...
Vurnon Anita has completed his move from Ajax to Newcastle United on a five-year contract.
I reckon she'd form a great partnership with Andy Carroll.
A new book claims that Manchester City "accidentally" made an offer for Lionel Messi, swiftly rejected, on the night the club was taken over by Sheikh Mansour in 2008.
Messi in Manchester? What a load of old kaka.
Joey Barton is the subject of an approach from French side Marseille after losing his QPR squad number to new signing Ryan Nelsen.
I know we love to hate the French, but do they really deserve Joey Barton?
The Olympic spirit may have had an effect on Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole, as he gave a young Manchester City fan his Community Shield medal
Frank Lampard, 3...