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Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

Funny story: Spitting llama escapes from Liverpool zoo and is arrested in Manchester!

An ex-Liverpudlian llama saw red on Saturday after breaking out of his cage in Liverpool Zoo along the Anfield Road. He was seen running towards a forbidden zone for Liverpudlian spitting llamas called Old Trafford, Manchester, where many strange ani...

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Pay and display on M60

A pay and display scheme is to be introduced on the M60, a spokesman said today. "If people are going to spend hours and hours sitting in their stationary cars on prime Manc real estate, it seems obvious to me that they should pay for it." Said 'H...

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Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

Funny story: Man moans on Twitter about trying to write shopping list while shooting takes place outside

32 year old Simon Smith of Moss Side, Manchester has moaned about trying to write his shopping list as gang members shoot each other directly outside his house. Average resident Mr Smith took to Twitter to 'tell off' local gang members Kid Lowride...

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Old Salford Sense of Humour

There have been fewer migrant incursions into the Channel Tunnel as word spreads through the Calais camp about what life in Britain is really like. I come to Britain because I thought it was fair, decent and beautiful country," said one man who id...

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Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...

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Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Funny story: Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Staff and diners were left disgusted when a man eating at a restaurant blatantly refused to use his knife and fork and ate with his fingers. The 52-year-old was eating a margherita pizza at Zizzi's restaurant in Didsbury, Manchester at 1pm today.

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Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

Funny story: Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...

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Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Funny story: Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young has been banned from shopping for six months for speeding in a supermarket aisle. The 28-year-old England international admitted to pushing his trolley at 5mph on a 3mph section of Aisle 8 at the Tesco on Parrs...

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David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

Funny story: David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

One year on and we take a look back at David Moyes time as manager of Manchester United July 1st - Fails to recognise Wayne Rooney on first day at job. Despite managing him at Everton. Rooney never properly forgives him. July 18th - Moyes sugge...

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Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

Funny story: Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

It was supposed to be a milestone day for Football club Manchester United. With Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal returning from the World Cup to be presented to the United squad. However the day took an unusual turn when during a meeting with the player...

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Rooney To Ferriby

The most sensational transfer of 2013 has finally been given the green light. Wayne Rooney will leave thirteen time Premier League champions Manchester United for a all new challenge. North Ferriby United's new owner Sheik Hamu Abu Sabu Abu has pledg...

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Droylsden finally gets its tram

Funny story: Droylsden finally gets its tram

After being in the planning stage for twenty years, the much vaunted Manchester tram system is to get it's first of several new extensions that will take the tram network into East Manchester. This week, the first part of this opens, with stops in Dr...

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Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Funny story: Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Old Trafford Farm, Manchester: The ring-leader of some muddied oafs who chase a bladder of wind across a farm meadow for a living, has got into trouble. Farmer Ferguson is his name and he has been shouting and getting red faced over Christmas. Rum...

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Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

Funny story: Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

In a bid to reduce emissions from the vast fleet of buses that operate in and around the Manchester area, Greater Manchester Public Transport Limited have come up with a winning initiative that promises to not only slash exhaust emissions, but reduce...

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Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...

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Clubbers dance the knight away

A Surrey nobleman had a disappointing night out during his first weekend visit to Manchester. Knight of the Realm Sir Alfred Prufrock ended up on the pavement outside the Toffzarowt Night Club. Sir Alfred went in all dressed up in his fancy ge...

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Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

Funny story: Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

The disruption to the fuel pipeline between Ellesmere Port and Manchester Airport has led to massive delays at the terminal, but there has been an unexpected knock on effect as the M56 has clogged up with aircraft heading for a nearby service station...

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Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

Funny story: Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

A report released today revealed that the vast majority of Manchester United fans remain in a state of shock, following Sunday's explosive climax to the Premier League season, as Manchester City scored twice in the final two minutes of added time, th...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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