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Funny story: Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

It was supposed to be a milestone day for Football club Manchester United. With Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal returning from the World Cup to be presented to the United squad. However the day took an unusual turn when during a meeting with the player...
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Funny story: Rooney To Ferriby

Rooney To Ferriby

The most sensational transfer of 2013 has finally been given the green light. Wayne Rooney will leave thirteen time Premier League champions Manchester United for a all new challenge. North Ferriby United's new owner Sheik Hamu Abu Sabu Abu has pledg...
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Funny story: Droylsden finally gets its tram

Droylsden finally gets its tram

After being in the planning stage for twenty years, the much vaunted Manchester tram system is to get it's first of several new extensions that will take the tram network into East Manchester. This week, the first part of this opens, with stops in Dr...
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Funny story: Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Old Trafford Farm, Manchester: The ring-leader of some muddied oafs who chase a bladder of wind across a farm meadow for a living, has got into trouble. Farmer Ferguson is his name and he has been shouting and getting red faced over Christmas. Rum...
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Funny story: Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

In a bid to reduce emissions from the vast fleet of buses that operate in and around the Manchester area, Greater Manchester Public Transport Limited have come up with a winning initiative that promises to not only slash exhaust emissions, but reduce...
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Funny story: Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...
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Funny story: Clubbers dance the knight away

Clubbers dance the knight away

A Surrey nobleman had a disappointing night out during his first weekend visit to Manchester. Knight of the Realm Sir Alfred Prufrock ended up on the pavement outside the Toffzarowt Night Club. Sir Alfred went in all dressed up in his fancy ge...
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Funny story: Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

The disruption to the fuel pipeline between Ellesmere Port and Manchester Airport has led to massive delays at the terminal, but there has been an unexpected knock on effect as the M56 has clogged up with aircraft heading for a nearby service station...
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Funny story: Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

A report released today revealed that the vast majority of Manchester United fans remain in a state of shock, following Sunday's explosive climax to the Premier League season, as Manchester City scored twice in the final two minutes of added time, th...
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Funny story: Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Three of the cities that held referendums on the introduction of elected mayors have so far rejected the idea: In Nottingham, 57.09% of voters decided against it. Comment: "It's perfectly understandable really. If the proletariat of Nottingham had to turn out to vote for a mayor, they would have less time for shoplifting, benefit claiming, and also they'd risk getting themselves shot by one o...
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Funny story: Eagerly Awaited Manchester Derby Cancelled

Eagerly Awaited Manchester Derby Cancelled

In a stunning last minute development, it's just been announced that the keenly anticipated Manchester Derby has just been cancelled, leaving Sir Alex Ferguson "gutted and as sick as a parrot." The hottest ticket in town just a few hours ago is no...
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Funny story: Salford woman wins the Manchester Marathon

Salford woman wins the Manchester Marathon

The Manchester Marathon was won today by a forty-two year old woman from Salford called Annette Fisher. "I hadn't even realised I'd entered the marathon," said Ms Fisher. "I'd hung my bed sheets out on the line because it was quite windy and I th...
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Funny story: Droylsden lose the Manchester Senior Cup without kicking a ball

Droylsden lose the Manchester Senior Cup without kicking a ball

Droylsden FC, a not-quite-professional football club from east Manchester playing in the Conference North has lost the final of the Manchester Senior Cup without ever kicking a ball. The game, scheduled for last week, was postponed when Droylsden...
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Funny story: Roberto Mancini Promises To Eat His Scarf If City Fail In Title Bid

Roberto Mancini Promises To Eat His Scarf If City Fail In Title Bid

Manchester City insiders today revealed that City boss, Roberto 'The Scarf' Mancini (Unkindly referred to in some quarters as 'Mankini') has vowed to eat his own scarf if City fail in their bid to land the league title for the first time since the ha...
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Funny story: It's Squeaky Bum Time For Manchester City - Can Balotelli, Tevez & Co Hack It?

It's Squeaky Bum Time For Manchester City - Can Balotelli, Tevez & Co Hack It?

MONDAY - As Manchester United pulled four points clear in the Premiership title race, with a 5-0 victory over Wolves at Molineux, with goals courtesy of Evans, Valencia, Welbeck, and a brace from Chicharito, thus reducing the Goal Difference between...
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Funny story: Manchester's Double Europa League Exit Could Sound The Death Knell For The Euro

Manchester's Double Europa League Exit Could Sound The Death Knell For The Euro

European Finance Ministers held an early morning crisis meeting in Brussels today, in order to discuss the implications for the Eurozone after both Manchester clubs crashed out of the Europa League football tournament on Thursday evening. Minister...
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Funny story: Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Controversial (understatement) Italian footy star, Mario Balotelli, has decided to remain anonymous whilst up to his rather naughty antics around the Manchester area. He claims the publicity is just too much when he's acting like a moron; albeit, he'...
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Funny story: UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

The UN have officially declared certain areas of the UK suburbs of LA. It seems that these "no-go" areas are homing "Homies" of drug gangs and cartels similar to their parent gangs in the US and especially LA. Here are just a few of the friendly b...
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Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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