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Funny satire stories about Manchester

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Funny story: Old Salford Sense of Humour

Old Salford Sense of Humour

There have been fewer migrant incursions into the Channel Tunnel as word spreads through the Calais camp about what life in Britain is really like. I come to Britain because I thought it was fair, decent and beautiful country," said one man who id...
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Funny story: Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...
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Funny story: Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant

Staff and diners were left disgusted when a man eating at a restaurant blatantly refused to use his knife and fork and ate with his fingers. The 52-year-old was eating a margherita pizza at Zizzi's restaurant in Didsbury, Manchester at 1pm today.
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Funny story: Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...
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Funny story: Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young has been banned from shopping for six months for speeding in a supermarket aisle. The 28-year-old England international admitted to pushing his trolley at 5mph on a 3mph section of Aisle 8 at the Tesco on Parrs...
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Funny story: David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

David Moyes Man United timeline - What went wrong?

One year on and we take a look back at David Moyes time as manager of Manchester United July 1st - Fails to recognise Wayne Rooney on first day at job. Despite managing him at Everton. Rooney never properly forgives him. July 18th - Moyes sugge...
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Funny story: Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

Man Utd coach Van Gaal kills Ryan Giggs with his bare hands to assert dominance over squad

It was supposed to be a milestone day for Football club Manchester United. With Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal returning from the World Cup to be presented to the United squad. However the day took an unusual turn when during a meeting with the player...
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Funny story: Rooney To Ferriby

Rooney To Ferriby

The most sensational transfer of 2013 has finally been given the green light. Wayne Rooney will leave thirteen time Premier League champions Manchester United for a all new challenge. North Ferriby United's new owner Sheik Hamu Abu Sabu Abu has pledg...
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Funny story: Droylsden finally gets its tram

Droylsden finally gets its tram

After being in the planning stage for twenty years, the much vaunted Manchester tram system is to get it's first of several new extensions that will take the tram network into East Manchester. This week, the first part of this opens, with stops in Dr...
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Funny story: Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Old Farmer Ferguson had a Farm, E-eye, E-eye, Oh!

Old Trafford Farm, Manchester: The ring-leader of some muddied oafs who chase a bladder of wind across a farm meadow for a living, has got into trouble. Farmer Ferguson is his name and he has been shouting and getting red faced over Christmas. Rum...
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Funny story: Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

Healthy Green Buses to be rolled out across Manchester

In a bid to reduce emissions from the vast fleet of buses that operate in and around the Manchester area, Greater Manchester Public Transport Limited have come up with a winning initiative that promises to not only slash exhaust emissions, but reduce...
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Funny story: Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...
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Funny story: Clubbers dance the knight away

Clubbers dance the knight away

A Surrey nobleman had a disappointing night out during his first weekend visit to Manchester. Knight of the Realm Sir Alfred Prufrock ended up on the pavement outside the Toffzarowt Night Club. Sir Alfred went in all dressed up in his fancy ge...
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Funny story: Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

Manchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery

The disruption to the fuel pipeline between Ellesmere Port and Manchester Airport has led to massive delays at the terminal, but there has been an unexpected knock on effect as the M56 has clogged up with aircraft heading for a nearby service station...
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Funny story: Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

Man United Fans Still In Hiding Following Two Minutes Of Madness

A report released today revealed that the vast majority of Manchester United fans remain in a state of shock, following Sunday's explosive climax to the Premier League season, as Manchester City scored twice in the final two minutes of added time, th...
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Funny story: Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors!

Three of the cities that held referendums on the introduction of elected mayors have so far rejected the idea: In Nottingham, 57.09% of voters decided against it. Comment: "It's perfectly understandable really. If the proletariat of Nottingham had to turn out to vote for a mayor, they would have less time for shoplifting, benefit claiming, and also they'd risk getting themselves shot by one o...
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Funny story: Eagerly Awaited Manchester Derby Cancelled

Eagerly Awaited Manchester Derby Cancelled

In a stunning last minute development, it's just been announced that the keenly anticipated Manchester Derby has just been cancelled, leaving Sir Alex Ferguson "gutted and as sick as a parrot." The hottest ticket in town just a few hours ago is no...
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Funny story: Salford woman wins the Manchester Marathon

Salford woman wins the Manchester Marathon

The Manchester Marathon was won today by a forty-two year old woman from Salford called Annette Fisher. "I hadn't even realised I'd entered the marathon," said Ms Fisher. "I'd hung my bed sheets out on the line because it was quite windy and I th...
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