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Funny story:  Motorist's frying pan reduced by magistrates

Motorist's frying pan reduced by magistrates

A Gateshead delivery driver has had his frying pan reduced in size from 16 to 10 inches diameter. Aluvaf Ryup, 33, had been driving whilst still holding his 16-inch pan. In court, magistrates duly considered his pan, which had been set aside wh...
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Funny story:  Interesting accounts stage a come-back

Interesting accounts stage a come-back

The public gallery at Peterborough Magistrates Court was packed again yesterday, after hundreds had queued to witness P.C. William Wordsworth testify for the prosecution. Ten motorists were up before the bench, charged with minor offences. P.C.
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Funny story:  "Acton Greengrocer Told Chubby Check-Out Girl He Was Picasso's Son" :  Court Told

"Acton Greengrocer Told Chubby Check-Out Girl He Was Picasso's Son" : Court Told

Acton greengrocer, Terry Smurge, offered dim-witted supermarket check-out girl, Donna Ormiston, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be his personal nude model, Acton Magistrates were told today. Smurge, a filthy pervert with a string of previous...
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Funny story:  Nottingham Magistrates' Sessions to be shown live at the Majestic cinema!

Nottingham Magistrates' Sessions to be shown live at the Majestic cinema!

Nottingham City Labour Councillor Mr B Ackander (56), has been praised for his efforts in getting the Nottingham Magistrates' and Criminal Court sessions to be shown live at a City Centre Cinema, now renamed the Majestic. Cllr B Ackander explained: "With the Coalition Government's cutbacks, it was essential we found a way to help ease the financial burden caused by their vicious cutbacks. And a...
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Funny story:  Answers given in Nottingham Courts

Answers given in Nottingham Courts

This article was sent in by a decrepit ageing ex-security officer. Who, although today he cannot remember where he left his hearing aids, glasses, bus-pass or what day of the week it is, refers to his old personal notebook, to dredge up some answers given in the courts, he remembers: Magistrate to Defendant: "... so how do you propose to pay this fine?" Defendant's Reply: "Wiv me dole!" J...
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