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Albuquerque Area Magician Nearly Lynched After Having Pet Dwarf Monkeys Take Turns Leaping Into Crowd From Atop His Dick

Funny story: Albuquerque Area Magician Nearly Lynched After Having Pet Dwarf Monkeys Take Turns Leaping Into Crowd From Atop His Dick

Albuquerque, New Mexico - In what Sheriff Deputies called "a scene reminiscent of frontier vigilante justice," an Albuquerque area magician was treed by a drunken mob that took exception to his act. Performing at an airport Ramada Inn, the magicia...

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Ancestry Website Suggests Link Between Lois Lerner and Houdini Family Tree, Missing Emails

Washington, D.C. - The genealogical website of record has revealed that Lois Lerner, the embattled IRS employee at the center of a Tea Party targeting campaign who has been held in contempt of Congress, is related to a long line of magicians, illusio...

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Bavarian Bestiality Believed to Be Behind Belgian Boys' Buggery

Funny story: Bavarian Bestiality Believed to Be Behind Belgian Boys' Buggery

Munich, Deutschland - Dr. Hans Freid Eggs, a renowned German zoologist has come to the defence of four orang-utans convicted of grievous buggery committed against a group of Belgian schoolboys. "This is nothing but a snitch-up!"(sic) exclaimed Egg...

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Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Funny story: Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics would not exist in an independent Scotland. The startling revelation was made today in a speech by First Minister Alex Salmond, where he outlined more of his plans for the country in the event of a Yes vote. The shock announcement...

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"That's Magic" Paul Daniels' house not flooded

Funny story: "That's Magic" Paul Daniels' house not flooded

The Thames Riviera home of top Magic Circle magician and Illusionist Paul Daniels has not flooded like almost every other nearby property. Paul and Debbie told our reporter. "The bureaucratic idiots will not give permission for me to pay for what...

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Illusionist/Contortionist Disappears Up His Own Butt, Never To Be Seen From Again

Funny story: Illusionist/Contortionist Disappears Up His Own Butt, Never To Be Seen From Again

BRILLIANT, Ohio - In front of a hometown live television audience, Illusionist/Contortionist, Mr. Winston Brevity, in a stellar reality performance, managed to contort himself into a pretzel and then disappear up his own butt. As advertised in th...

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Old White Guy Magic Responsible for Obamacare Woes

Funny story: Old White Guy Magic Responsible for Obamacare Woes

As the President jetted to the West coast to refill the party's empty bags of cash before the 2014 election cycle, the White House unrolled a new and previously unheard explanation for the failure of the stumbling health care plan. "It has nothin...

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Rupert Giles

Rupert Giles studied at Oxford University, but dropped out before earning a history degree to become a voyeur, or "watcher," as his father and grandmother Edna had been before him. Rather than taking his wayward son to task for wasting what could have been a superb education at one of the world's leading universities, Giles' father approved of his decision, affirming it as a fulfillment of his "de...

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The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh is a long, boring, heroic poem by Gil Gamesh, a Babylonian who plagiarized the story from ancient Sumerian sources and claimed that the events of the poem, outlandish though they are, actually happened to him. One of the poem's key episodes in the flood, which, when it is written about in the Bible, is known as the Biblical flood, but, in Gilgamesh, is referred to as The Delu...

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Kirstie Alley Talks About Her Weight Loss and Weight Gain and The Voodoo Woman Who Was Responsible

Funny story: Kirstie Alley Talks About Her Weight Loss and Weight Gain and The Voodoo Woman Who Was Responsible

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley has stated that she has pretty well tried every diet known to man. She said she has gone on the Yogurt Diet, the Fettuccine Alfredo Diet, the Carrot Sticks Diet, and even the M&M's Diet but they did not work wor...

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Hobbits Vow to Avenge the Murder of the Elf King

The untimely murder of the Elf King has the Hobbit nation in an uproar and they have vowed to avenge the murder. "Three teenaged boys carried out the murder," said a spokesman for the Hobbit Nation. "They kill him out of sport which make no sen...

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Eastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility

Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational su...

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Hairy Porter and the Deaf Leaf Gatherer Part 1

Funny story: Hairy Porter and the Deaf Leaf Gatherer Part 1

Hairy Porter entered the gates of Hinge and Bracket Hall. The school had a long history in the world of magic and myth, producing some of the worlds greatest tricksters and wizards. On a plaque, Hairy read the names of some well known old boys and girls, that he hoped to aspire too. Sir Robert Maxwell, Jeffrey Archer, William Clinton, Margret Thatcher, Winnie Mandela to name but a few. Hairy...

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Fort Worth Woman's Legal Troubles Due to Daughter's 5 Magical Wishes

Funny story: Fort Worth Woman's Legal Troubles Due to Daughter's 5 Magical Wishes

Fort Worth: Elizabeth Potter, 41, of the urban Near South Side neighborhood is currently entangled in legal struggles with the city. If it weren't for the unicorn grazing in her backyard, she would move. Potter says it all started when her five-ye...

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Cassadaga Spiritualist Camp Holding 'Supermoon Celebration' Saturday

Funny story: Cassadaga Spiritualist Camp Holding 'Supermoon Celebration' Saturday

Psychics, mediums, spiritual healers and other believers in psychic energies will be on hand Saturday, March 19, 2011 in the small Central Florida town of Cassadaga to take advantage of record high energy levels related to an unusual lunar event.

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You Heard It Here First

Funny story: You Heard It Here First

A group of Scientists at Wrexham Polytechnic have invented a gadget which they think could change the world we live in. Group spokesperson Ivor Tiddler agreed to talk to a packed Press Room this lunchtime. 'This is about as good as it gets,' s...

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Top Ten Tricks Magician David Copperfield Is Reduced To Doing For Kid's Birthday Parties

Funny story: Top Ten Tricks Magician David Copperfield Is Reduced To Doing For Kid's Birthday Parties

Top Ten Tricks Magician David Copperfield Is Reduced To Doing For Kid's Birthday Parties 10. Magically removes a wad of wax from a kid's ear. 9. Makes balloon poodles out of special ribbed balloons. 8. Shows them how they can magically disappear by closing their eyes. 7. Saws Gumby in half and magically puts him back together! 6. The magically sudden appearance of the Manhattan Bi...

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David Copperfield comes clean on Global Warming

Funny story: David Copperfield comes clean on Global Warming

Renowned magician David Copperfield has come clean today and admitted that so called "Global warming" was the biggest hoax he's pulled off yet. When asked how he did it he declined to answer. When asked why he did it he simply said he needed t...

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