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Funny story: Neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem flees to Bolivia, but the game is up

Neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem flees to Bolivia, but the game is up

Following allegations of catastrophic surgical procedures, detectives at Scotland Yard are anxious to locate Dublin neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem. Managers at Beaumont Hospital have distanced themselves from the consultant, telling police that "Mr B...
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Funny story: The man of the moment, Louis Walsh, talks frankly about his recent brain implant

The man of the moment, Louis Walsh, talks frankly about his recent brain implant

Universally known as a bit of a tit, I resolved to bring an open mind to my meeting with Louis Walsh. Only six weeks after his well-publicised brain implant, he agreed to meet for lunch at his favourite greasy spoon in one of Dublin's murkiest back streets. ('I like to keep it real,' he told me inscrutably.) Louis flounced in, 40 minutes late, wearing a rather fetching two-tone green tank top...
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Funny story: Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics

Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics

The heady days of measurable cerebral activity are over for brain implant recipient Louis Walsh, according to Senior Neurologist Willie Bodgem. After several desperate attempts to reconnect disrupted neurotransmitters, Bodgem emerged from Beaumont Ho...
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Funny story: New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

Looking tired but relaxed, Louis Walsh emerged this afternoon from Beaumont Hospital with neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem at his side. Louis waved enthusiastically to no-one in particular as a Private Eye reporter waited, hungry for the first utterance fr...
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Funny story: Cowell: "It's a no brainer"

Cowell: "It's a no brainer"

X Factor Overlord Simon Cowell has finally broken his silence on Louis Walsh's controversial brain implant with characteristically blunt analysis. "Even with the brain of a hamster," mocked the Overlord, "Louis couldn't manage a band of teenage roden...
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Funny story: Brain implant for Louis Walsh

Brain implant for Louis Walsh

A spokesperson from Beaumont Hospital in Dublin confirmed that a small brain implant was successfully performed on X Factor judge Louis Walsh yesterday. The latest information from the hospital suggests that Walsh is recovering well after surgery.
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Funny story: Louis Walsh's new hair makes him look 40 years younger claims orang-utan hair transplant pioneer

Louis Walsh's new hair makes him look 40 years younger claims orang-utan hair transplant pioneer

Following Louis Walsh's surprising new hairstyle as seen on The X-Factor, details are now emerging of the controversial procedure he has undertaken to achieve the effect. And the scientist behind the process, Doctor Ronan Westboys, has spoken out ab...
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Funny story: OMG - Simon Cowell's bush is shaped like his head

OMG - Simon Cowell's bush is shaped like his head

Britain was reeling from the shock news this weekend that Simon Cowell's bush is shaped like his head. Topiarist to the stars Louie Spence said: "Yes it's true dahling, Simon asked me to shape his bush to look like his head. I was shocked at firs...
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Funny story: Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell, high trousered music mogul and inventor of the sarcastic put-down to already inferior people, has sensationally revealed the secret to his fantastic success in everything he does. Parsnips. That's right, parsnips. And lot's of them.
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Funny story: The Queen Set To Be A Judge On 'The HRH Factor'

The Queen Set To Be A Judge On 'The HRH Factor'

Television's flattest headed peddler of crap, Simon Cowell, is in advanced talks with the Queen in an attempt to convince her to be a judge on his new regality show, 'The HRH Factor'. Her majesty actually came up with the idea and pitched it to Co...
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Funny story: Members of X-Factor winners Little Mix revealed to be judges' love children

Members of X-Factor winners Little Mix revealed to be judges' love children

Winners of this year's X-Factor and Simon Cowell's new banking machine, or "Little Micks", as the four-girl group prefers to be known, have been revealed as love children of the entire X-Factor judging panel and more. Jade Thirlwall, who speaks a...
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Funny story: Irish embassy in uproar over X-Factor finalists

Irish embassy in uproar over X-Factor finalists

The Irish Ambassador to the UK has sought urgent talks with Prime Minister David Cameron over the final group in this year's X-Factor, a popular television talent show famed for premium rate telephone voting and pointless competitions, clueless judge...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh go head to head

Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh go head to head

There has never been a lot of love lost between Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, but recently things have taken a turn for the worse. With a string of manufactured boy and girl 'bands' linked to their respective names, the rivalry has been simmering...
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Funny story: "X-Factor is not a fix" confirm Bookies as they refuse bet on Misha B

"X-Factor is not a fix" confirm Bookies as they refuse bet on Misha B

Claims that the X-Factor is a fix have been hotly refuted by Simon Cowell and the self-important and always-nailing-it judges of the 'competition'. Despite bookies refusing to take bets on Misha B or Marcus, who will be the two finalists in this y...
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Funny story: Fears growing over potential Westlife reunion

Fears growing over potential Westlife reunion

The world of showbiz was today rocked to it's very foundations, to its actual core, in fact (get on with it - Editor) er, ok, er with the threatened possibility of a Westlife reunion. Still reeling from the non-split in 2004 when Brian McFadden qu...
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Funny story: All Change At American X Factor As Cheryl Cole Is Fired And Pippa Middleton Is Hired!

All Change At American X Factor As Cheryl Cole Is Fired And Pippa Middleton Is Hired!

The storm surrounding the sensational sacking of Cheryl Cole from American X Factor shows no signs of abating this morning, with the rumour mill working overtime processing and devouring snippet after snippet concerning the amazing axeing of the UK's...
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Funny story: Girls Aloud Back Without Cheryl

Girls Aloud Back Without Cheryl

Girls Aloud have confirmed they are ready to record their next album without Cheryl Cole. The four less famous members, Sarah Harding, Kimberley Walsh, Nadine Coyle and the other one have admitted they can't wait around forever to see whether Cher...
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Funny story: Louis Walsh Said UK X-Factor Is 'Crumbling To Pieces'

Louis Walsh Said UK X-Factor Is 'Crumbling To Pieces'

Louis Walsh is said to be furious that Simon Cowell is allowing the UK X-Factor to 'crumble' to pieces. He is furious over Cowell's lack of commitment to the UK show and his preoccupation with the US X-Factor. Both Louis and Dannii are furious...
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