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Funny story:  Couple win Albanian lottery

Couple win Albanian lottery

A couple from the north of England want to remain anonymous after scooping the biggest prize in the Albanian national lottery, and for some reason, wish to stay anonymous. One of the poorest countries in the world, Albania have struggled to pay ba...
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Funny story:  Another Lottery Millionaire reveals herself

Another Lottery Millionaire reveals herself

There was good news from lottery organisers, who have been concerned of late about the number of unclaimed winning tickets from various games. Despite scantily clad women pushing the button to operate the machines every Saturday on BBC1, there are...
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Funny story:  Barking kebab take-away owner loses winning £63.8m EuroSquillions ticket

Barking kebab take-away owner loses winning £63.8m EuroSquillions ticket

Isle of Dogs - A late night fast food cafe owner is in shock this weekend after a trainee put the winning lottery ticket inside a customer's take away kebab. Five numbers and the two all-important star balls came up trumps for Barking Blue Moon Ke...
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Funny story:  Cheese makes an ideal time machine

Cheese makes an ideal time machine

Cheddar or Gouda, Brie or Edam, it turns out that the congealed mess that is left if you leave milk in the sun can form the basis of a working time machine. "We noticed that the vacuoles of air inside a cheese were remarkably dense," said Professo...
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Funny story:  Local Man Wins National Lottery Jackpot - But Forgets To Buy Ticket

Local Man Wins National Lottery Jackpot - But Forgets To Buy Ticket

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was today left cursing his damnable luck, after winning the National Lottery Jackpot by an absolute country mile - but forgetting to buy the required ticket in order to claim his prize. A thoroughly disgruntled Shuttl...
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Funny story:  US Lottery Winner Vows to Squander Windfall

US Lottery Winner Vows to Squander Windfall

The anonymous Kansan who recently stepped forward to collect a check for $218 million acknowledged today that all of the money would be gone within a year. "I've got big plans for that money. I'm gonna rent me some diamond furniture, invest in...
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Funny story:  Maryland Housewife Loses Lottery

Maryland Housewife Loses Lottery

Baltimore, MD - Despite six days of careful planning, Janet McNary learned Wednesday that she will not be receiving a lottery jackpot of over two-hundred million dollars. The 34-year-old McNary, a financially concerned housewife from the suburbs of...
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Funny story:  Fabio Capello steps down as England manager

Fabio Capello steps down as England manager

Fabio Capello has resigned as England manager, the Football Association has confirmed. It is believed that Fabio wants to spend more time with his family. A source told BBC today "Fabio is a pensioner - working two weeks in the summer will be...
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Funny story:  Scottish Nationalists to return Eurosquillions winners' £1 million cheque

Scottish Nationalists to return Eurosquillions winners' £1 million cheque

Lard, Ayrshire - They famously scooped £161 million on the Lot and wowed Alex Salmond with their £1 million SNP bung. Today Michelin Man lookalikes Colin and Chris Weird (sic) face the ignominy (WTF that? - 'Ed') of seeing their cheque returned.
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Funny story:  Relaxed Lottery Winner Accused of Time Slip

Relaxed Lottery Winner Accused of Time Slip

The winner of £2.5M in last week's UK Lottery has not yet been paid out owing to suspicious irregularities. The winning ticket held by Hamish MacFly, 19, of Reading was bought legitimately just two days prior to the draw and correctly named all six...
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Funny story:  Hole-in-the-Wall Street bankers scoop $254million Powerball jackpot

Hole-in-the-Wall Street bankers scoop $254million Powerball jackpot

New York - "They're gonna use the winnings to short the Euro, heheh!" was one take on what three Greenwich, Connecticut hedge fund managers might do with their stonking $254million Powerball win. The winning numbers - 12/14/34/39/46 + the Powerbal...
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Funny story:  Presidential Lottery to Replace Elections: May the Best Bet Win

Presidential Lottery to Replace Elections: May the Best Bet Win

Washington, DC - Americans are betting that they can select a better president by chance than by choice. The presidential elections, which were scheduled for next November, have been replaced by the nation's first Presidential Lottery. The new rul...
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Funny story:  Lotto style 'National Hottery' to combat fuel poverty

Lotto style 'National Hottery' to combat fuel poverty

The government plans to launch a new lotto style 'National Hottery' to provide the warmth of hope to those members of the electorate struggling to combat the rising problem of 'fuel poverty', according to a leaked report. The report claims that go...
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Funny story:  £101m lottery winners announce they are buying Greece

£101m lottery winners announce they are buying Greece

The latest winners of a hugely obscene amount of money, a couple from Cambridgeshire, have announced that after they have paid their bills, bought a new house, a new car and a more up-to-date mp3 player, they are going to buy Greece. After they have...
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Funny story:  Euromillion winners buy Chelsea FC!

Euromillion winners buy Chelsea FC!

Dedicated Chelsea fans and new Euromillionaires, Dave and Angela Dawes, have decided to invest their winnings by buying Chelsea FC from Roman Abramovich. They are so fanatic about the club and have only one desire; to make it British once again.
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Funny story:  Tight Scottish couple win Euromillions and promise not to spend a penny!

Tight Scottish couple win Euromillions and promise not to spend a penny!

A very tight Scottish couple have won 161 million GBP on the Euromillions lottery and have promised not to alter their lifestyle. They are devoted scrooges and winning the millions will not change a thing. Scottish people are renowned for their ti...
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Funny story:  Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Glasgow - A pair of middle-aged chinless blobs from Lard - er...Largs! - in Ayrshire won the record breaking jackpot after a seven week-long rollover. Chris and Colin Weird (sic) said today they would be investing some of the dosh in gastric band...
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Funny story:  60's Pop Combo The Applejacks To Form Lottery Syndicate

60's Pop Combo The Applejacks To Form Lottery Syndicate

The 1960's pop combo from Solihull in the West Midlands, the Applejacks, who had a monster 60's hit with 'Tell Me When' have announced that they are to form a National Lottery Syndicate. Initially, it is thought that the syndicate will only involv...
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