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Funny story: Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment Agency will henceforth direct their hoses down the...
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Funny story: Boris to close down the Underground.

Boris to close down the Underground.

London Mayor Boris Johnson today released plans to completely close the tube network. It will be replaced by an exclusive underground cycle path. "Look I hate the Tube it's no secret." Johnson told the press "I really want to have it so that there...
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Funny story: Subways of the World

Subways of the World

In an altruistic campaign to promote diversity within multi-culturalism, The Spoof has launched a massive endeavor to educate ethnocentric Americans as to how well they have it as compared to other so-called developed (but, by American standards, woefully inadequate) countries. This particular article considers subways of the world. American Subways (the Best) American subways put those of o...
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Funny story: The Bastard's Guide to the London Underground

The Bastard's Guide to the London Underground

Living and working in London inevitably leads to suffering the subterranean cesspit that is the Underground system. This is a clarion call to all the selfish, unreasonable, obnoxious and fantastically annoying individuals out there using the Tube. To help in your quest for attaining universal disdain and irritation from all your fellow passengers, I've prepared a handy cut out and keep guide for y...
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Funny story: Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOC...
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Funny story: 2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

Following the news that London's Tube workers have rejected the offer of a £500 bonus for turning up for work during the Olympics, another union is demanding extra pay. Explaining that his members' position wasn't at all bloody-minded or grasping,...
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Funny story: 'Smell and tell' on the underground

'Smell and tell' on the underground

A special Police force is to be set up to patrol the London Underground but will having nothing to do with the Transport Police. The special unit will be called 'Smell and tell' and will be given special powers. "There's nothing worse than getting...
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Funny story: London Underground Lingerie Bandit Identified

London Underground Lingerie Bandit Identified

London UK: The final edition of the British Sunday tabloid "The News of the World" displayed the following headline LONDON UNDERGROUND LINGERIE BANDIT IDENTIFIED. Criminal activity has been reported to the Metropolitan Police involving ladies rid...
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Funny story: Train Operators follow London's Lead

Train Operators follow London's Lead

After the shock announcement from London Underground this weekend that its shedding 13 of its 51 Directors, Train Operators around the country are fighting to be first to say that they are following London's lead... like we do in everything else.
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Funny story: Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today started digging a big hole in his back garden. The excavation is reported to form the first phase of Shuttlecock's plan to: "go underground, like pop/new wave trio, The Jam did, back in 1980. But not on a train or...
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Funny story: Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

The Mayor of London Boris Johnson has today announced that the Jubilee Line will be closed for good and filled with billions of tonnes of excrement. After months of suffering for commuters who have had to put up with such excuses as broken down tr...
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Funny story: ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

In a brave move to "get Britain moving", the Department for Transport has announced a dramatic plan for both the London Underground and Heathrow Airport. The Minister for Transport, Con Seezontiquet, announced that work starts immediately on exten...
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Funny story: London Underground Gives Away Free Tube Socks to Riders

London Underground Gives Away Free Tube Socks to Riders

In an effort to boost ridership, the London Underground today announced plans to begin immediately giving out free tube socks to its patrons. Teaming with London merchant, Harrods, the socks will carry the London Underground logo in red and blue on a...
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Funny story: London underground infested with donkeys

London underground infested with donkeys

A new report published today by Transport for London (TFL), the government body responsible for most aspects of the transport system in London, has warned of a sharp increase in the number of donkeys plaguing the underground rail network. The do...
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Funny story: Commuters Will Soon Be Able To Use Mobile Phones On Tube

Commuters Will Soon Be Able To Use Mobile Phones On Tube

Boris Johnson is hoping to be able to revamp the capital's mobile phone network before the London Olympics in 2012. A generous Chinese phone technology giant has offered to install new receivers into the London Underground System so that for the f...
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Funny story: Tube Worker gets caught out, Crow furious!

Tube Worker gets caught out, Crow furious!

It is today learnt that a Tube Worker, a Mr. Chia Li Peng, originally from Malaysia, was summarily dismissed after his supervisor caught him masturbating behind the ticket window. Peng was assigned to Booking Office duties yesterday, 19th December...
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Funny story: The RMT Union schedules strike action for Royal Wedding

The RMT Union schedules strike action for Royal Wedding

RMT union leader Bob Crow has caused raw anger by declaring his intention to ballot members for strike action on the London Underground for 29th April 2011, the date of the Royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. A statement relea...
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Funny story: London Underground: Strike Update

London Underground: Strike Update

Its carnage, CARNAGE, CARNGE across London this morning as millions of zombies decend onto London's streets. Yes, its true, London Underground have yet again gone on strike and the average commuter has to brave it to the office overground where th...
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