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Funny satire stories about London Underground

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Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell

Funny story: Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell

In a shock statement, the tenth circle of hell from Dante's "Inferno" has been named as the Northern Line at rush hour. Intended as the circle to punish commuters for trusting the British public transportation system, this horrendous site sees an...

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Appellate Court: Not Illegal to Fart On The Tube

Funny story: Appellate Court: Not Illegal to Fart On The Tube

An appeals court has reversed a municipal court's conviction of a Chelsea man who was ticketed by transport police for disturbing the peace after farting on the Tube. Brian DeBroder received several warnings before receiving the summons, this was aft...

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Farting Etiquette On The London Underground

Funny story: Farting Etiquette On The London Underground

Everyone has done it at one time or another: sometimes you're in public and you just have to trump; and sometimes it's on the London Underground in peak traffic when you have to chuff. Then what do you do? This reporter looked for people who regularly ride the Tube to find out what people do if they have to fart on public transport. So what happened? Some people considered even asking the qu...

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Exploding E-Cig Kills Man On London Underground

Funny story: Exploding E-Cig Kills Man On London Underground

59 year old Max Scholder died celebrating his birthday after his e-cig exploded in his pocket then ignited a gas explosion. Leila Scholder, wife of the deceased, talked to this reporter about what happened. "We were going home on the Undergrou...

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Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

Funny story: Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment Agency will henceforth direct their hoses down the...

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Boris to close down the Underground.

Funny story: Boris to close down the Underground.

London Mayor Boris Johnson today released plans to completely close the tube network. It will be replaced by an exclusive underground cycle path. "Look I hate the Tube it's no secret." Johnson told the press "I really want to have it so that there...

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Subways of the World

In an altruistic campaign to promote diversity within multi-culturalism, The Spoof has launched a massive endeavor to educate ethnocentric Americans as to how well they have it as compared to other so-called developed (but, by American standards, woefully inadequate) countries. This particular article considers subways of the world. American Subways (the Best) American subways put those of o...

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The Bastard's Guide to the London Underground

Funny story: The Bastard's Guide to the London Underground

Living and working in London inevitably leads to suffering the subterranean cesspit that is the Underground system. This is a clarion call to all the selfish, unreasonable, obnoxious and fantastically annoying individuals out there using the Tube. To help in your quest for attaining universal disdain and irritation from all your fellow passengers, I've prepared a handy cut out and keep guide for y...

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Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

Funny story: Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOC...

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2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

Funny story: 2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

Following the news that London's Tube workers have rejected the offer of a £500 bonus for turning up for work during the Olympics, another union is demanding extra pay. Explaining that his members' position wasn't at all bloody-minded or grasping,...

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'Smell and tell' on the underground

Funny story: 'Smell and tell' on the underground

A special Police force is to be set up to patrol the London Underground but will having nothing to do with the Transport Police. The special unit will be called 'Smell and tell' and will be given special powers. "There's nothing worse than getting...

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London Underground Lingerie Bandit Identified

Funny story: London Underground Lingerie Bandit Identified

London UK: The final edition of the British Sunday tabloid "The News of the World" displayed the following headline LONDON UNDERGROUND LINGERIE BANDIT IDENTIFIED. Criminal activity has been reported to the Metropolitan Police involving ladies rid...

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Train Operators follow London's Lead

Funny story: Train Operators follow London's Lead

After the shock announcement from London Underground this weekend that its shedding 13 of its 51 Directors, Train Operators around the country are fighting to be first to say that they are following London's lead... like we do in everything else.

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Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Funny story: Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today started digging a big hole in his back garden. The excavation is reported to form the first phase of Shuttlecock's plan to: "go underground, like pop/new wave trio, The Jam did, back in 1980. But not on a train or...

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Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

Funny story: Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

The Mayor of London Boris Johnson has today announced that the Jubilee Line will be closed for good and filled with billions of tonnes of excrement. After months of suffering for commuters who have had to put up with such excuses as broken down tr...

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ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

Funny story: ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

In a brave move to "get Britain moving", the Department for Transport has announced a dramatic plan for both the London Underground and Heathrow Airport. The Minister for Transport, Con Seezontiquet, announced that work starts immediately on exten...

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London Underground Gives Away Free Tube Socks to Riders

Funny story: London Underground Gives Away Free Tube Socks to Riders

In an effort to boost ridership, the London Underground today announced plans to begin immediately giving out free tube socks to its patrons. Teaming with London merchant, Harrods, the socks will carry the London Underground logo in red and blue on a...

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London underground infested with donkeys

Funny story: London underground infested with donkeys

A new report published today by Transport for London (TFL), the government body responsible for most aspects of the transport system in London, has warned of a sharp increase in the number of donkeys plaguing the underground rail network. The do...

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