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Funny satire stories about London Riots

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Funny story: Skunk cultivating Harry Potter star up on petrol bomb riot charges

Skunk cultivating Harry Potter star up on petrol bomb riot charges

London - A July 2009 slap on the wrists for Harry Potter actor Jamie Waylett was all that Westminster Magistrates Court imposed following the discovery of 20 marijuana plants growing at his mother's Kilburn home. Today Wood Green Crown Court heard...
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Funny story: I Predict No More Riots

I Predict No More Riots

Police chiefs today outlined their new plans in how to respond to "social disturbances" or as we at Back and to the Left news call them "people acting batshit crazy". Police hope the new plans will help response times to events such as the London riots, and also allow them to use whatever means necessary to get the job done. The four point program was out lined as such. 1.Water Cannon-The p...
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Funny story: Wolfgang All Set To Be Most Popular Boy's Name In 2013

Wolfgang All Set To Be Most Popular Boy's Name In 2013

Once considered to be an almost exclusively Germanic name, Wolfgang is experiencing an explosion in popularity among young British mums, who have been using the handle to name their male offspring in unprecedented record numbers. Figures from The...
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Funny story: London riots to be used as opening ceremony for olympics

London riots to be used as opening ceremony for olympics

The hugely popular London riots will be brought back in time for the Olympic games a senior organiser said today. It is hoped the new Riots will be the centre piece of the opening ceremony. It really is a testament to the British peoples spirit th...
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Funny story: London riots postponed as game of football breaks out between Tottenham and Everton

London riots postponed as game of football breaks out between Tottenham and Everton

The London Riots were postponed last night on police advice after a game of football broke out at White Hot Lane between two teams of eleven footballers. The final day of riots had been pencilled in for early January after the scheduled date in Au...
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Funny story: London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
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Funny story: Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers who threaten the well-being of others will be forced to 'stand in a corner and face the wall' under new plans unveiled by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to restore order to the streets of Britain. The plans were revealed...
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Funny story: GMP receive an eight grand CO2 charge for helping in the London Riots

GMP receive an eight grand CO2 charge for helping in the London Riots

Greater Manchester Police were left reeling and feeling out of pocket this week when they received an eight thousand pounds charge for crossing the emissions zone in London during the London riots. "We were shocked," said Chief of Police, Henry Ho...
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Funny story: Riots break out again - in Devon seaside resort

Riots break out again - in Devon seaside resort

Following the government's successful quelling of the riots which troubled some of the UK's major cities in August, it seems that acts of group vandalism and violence have made a reappearance, this time in a Devon seaside town. On Monday evening,...
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Funny story: Riot gang leaders to open private prison for gang training

Riot gang leaders to open private prison for gang training

Several gang-leaders responsible for co-ordinating riots across the UK have confirmed they are considering creating their own privately run prisons to ensure the best possible training for gang members prior to their release. ManDem gang leader Ru...
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Funny story: Teenage Elephant Gaoled For Looting Buns

Teenage Elephant Gaoled For Looting Buns

Harlesden magistrates today sentenced a tearaway teenage elephant to 6 months imprisonment for looting buns in last month's Tottenham riot. The 13 year old hooligan, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was identified from CCTV footage as he cra...
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Funny story: Brit Soul Singer Adele Accused of Wearing Stolen Clothes At MTV VMAs and Slamming Britain

Brit Soul Singer Adele Accused of Wearing Stolen Clothes At MTV VMAs and Slamming Britain

Adele's biggest moment in her American career, performing live to America's music royalty at the MTV VMAs and been tarnished by her criticism of Britain's leader and accusations her dress was stolen to order during the London riots. US media misinter...
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Funny story: Kaiser Chief's "Riot" song gets rapped by the Police Chiefs

Kaiser Chief's "Riot" song gets rapped by the Police Chiefs

The Kaiser Chiefs have caused, er, a riot, having decided to reissue their hit song "I predict a riot". As a result of recent events in the capital, not to mention Birmingham, Manchester and Bristol (oops sorry, have just mentioned Birmingham, Man...
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Funny story: A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

Leaving their decision to the 11th Hour the police have announced a controversial compromise over one of the world's most famous street parties, the Notting Hill Carnival. This year the event will be closed off to the public but in order to allow the...
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Funny story: 'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

Scotland Yard reports that Bo-le of Glue thousand people 'ad been nicked - and more than Ca and Calf or 1,135 'ad been charged for riotin'. Of those charged, over 700 're guilty of speakin' Cockney Matheson Lang. Scotland Yard 'as also organized...
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Funny story: Joan Collins Admits Her Porn Films The Stud and Bitch Led to Riots & Breakdown in British Values

Joan Collins Admits Her Porn Films The Stud and Bitch Led to Riots & Breakdown in British Values

A tearful Joan Collins has finally broken her silence since the UK riots and admitted that her soft porn films in the 1970s made when she was a struggling and naive middle aged actress, has had a big part to play in the breakdown of British good mann...
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Funny story: IBM develop World's First Brain Chip - UK Rioters given first Stocks

IBM develop World's First Brain Chip - UK Rioters given first Stocks

London: Cameron stocks up with New IBM Brain Chip in his latest battle against the 'sick society' that plagues the UK inner cities. Government officials moved swiftly today to bring some hope to the UK's riot torn communities, following the announcement by IBM of The Worlds First Brain Chip. The processor, about the size of an ants unerect penis, mimics human brain patterns and can be impla...
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Funny story: Modified ecstasy could stop inner city bloodshed

Modified ecstasy could stop inner city bloodshed

Modified ecstasy could one day have a role to play in fighting most forms of the inner city bloodshed currently blighting the lives of law abiding members of society across the UK, according to a controversial drugs advisory body. A commentator sa...
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