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Funny satire stories about Lincoln

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Funny story: Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Lincoln, Nebraska- A woman frantically rang a local poison information line after her 7 year old daughter ate some black carpenter ants in the back yard. The operator assured her that the ants were harmless but advised against the child eating any...
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Funny story: Local Man Having Problems In Bed

Local Man Having Problems In Bed

George Lincoln of Scorpion Falls, Arizona has been having a lot of trouble in bed the past six months. "I've been to doctor after doctor and specialist and health stores and shamans from six tribes of Native Americans and none of them have been ab...
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Funny story: Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico

Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico

RUIDOSO, New Mexico - A group of archaeologists from Delaware stumbled upon an interesting find just outside of the town of Ruidoso, which is noted for its Gila Monster Grilled Burritos. Kiki Lily Chillydutch, 21, with the Delaware group stated th...
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Funny story: Lincoln Town Car Voted Best Backseat By Unwed Teenage Mothers

Lincoln Town Car Voted Best Backseat By Unwed Teenage Mothers

The backseat of the Lincoln Town Car has been voted as the favorite by a group of unwed, teenaged mothers (and mothers-to-be). The young women, aged 13 to 17, said that they found this vehicle's backseat to be "the roomiest, with the nicest upholste...
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Funny story: Obama Hires Ghostbusters To Rid White House Of Lincoln's Ghost

Obama Hires Ghostbusters To Rid White House Of Lincoln's Ghost

(Washington DC)-- President Obama is finally doing something presidents should have done many years ago. The Obamas are hiring some ghostbusters to rid the White House of an obnoxious spirit--the spirit of President Lincoln. The unhappy ghost has h...
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Funny story: Obama cedes Lincoln Bedroom to Cuba: Castro Declares Free Esmoking Zone

Obama cedes Lincoln Bedroom to Cuba: Castro Declares Free Esmoking Zone

Barack Obama has bowed in Saudi, genuflected at the Vatican and bent over for Venezuela's Chavez. He's even learned to pronounce Ahmadinehjad in his efforts to erase the Bush- Cheney nightmare. None of these steps can compare to the granting of an ac...
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Funny story: Ghost of Abraham Lincoln Flees White House

Ghost of Abraham Lincoln Flees White House

White House staffers claim that the legendary ghost of Abraham Lincoln, which has haunted the White House since Lincoln's death in 1865, fled when he saw a black man sleeping in his bed. For over 140 years White House guests have reported seeing a...
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Funny story: Obama gets idea for his first public works project while on historic Lincoln train ride to Washington, DC

Obama gets idea for his first public works project while on historic Lincoln train ride to Washington, DC

Washington, DC - Reportedly, Obama got the idea while on his historical train ride, taking the very same route that then President-elect Lincoln took to on his way to Washington, DC for his inauguration over a century ago. "I could see him [Obam...
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Funny story: Lincoln Bedroom at White House Destroyed by President Bush!

Lincoln Bedroom at White House Destroyed by President Bush!

Scott McClellan, one-time Press Secretary to President Bush, has just released a book, 'What Happened.'...
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Funny story: Earthquake Could Have Been A Small Terrorist Bomb, Say Police

Earthquake Could Have Been A Small Terrorist Bomb, Say Police

The earthquake tremors felt by many insomniacs across the UK on Tuesday, may actually have been the result of the early accidental demise at a Terror Training Camp, of a wannabe al-Qaeda terrorist, s...
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Funny story: MLK "I have a Bream?"

MLK "I have a Bream?"

The scene is Washington DC 28th August 1968.
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Funny story: Ford Recalls 24,000 SUV Drivers

Ford Recalls 24,000 SUV Drivers

Concerned about the increasing rate of "irresponsible, negligent, and thoughtless behavior" exhibited by SUV drivers, Ford announced today that it is recalling 24,000 drivers of its Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator series in the first of a plann...
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Funny story: Johnny Carson: Never Lived in Nebraska !

Johnny Carson: Never Lived in Nebraska !

LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) Johnny Carson's death has stirred great interest in Nebraska. Governor Mike Johanns has been busy taking calls from newspapers and TV stations all across the country about Johnny Carson's early days in Nebraska. "First off, I h...
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Funny story: Osama bin Laden Caught

Osama bin Laden Caught

Fugitive Found in Lincoln Bedroom: President Safe...
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Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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