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Funny story: The Nation Is Running Out Of Vowels, The FB* Warns

The Nation Is Running Out Of Vowels, The FB* Warns

Washington, DC -- America is about to pay a high price for its love affair with its five favorite letters. The vowels -- A,E,I,O,U -- have become so popular that there aren't enough of them to go around, according to a recently published FB* report.
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Funny story: The Best Letter from Mom Contest

The Best Letter from Mom Contest

Boston, MA - The Boston Tribune's randomly chosen entry into The Best Letter from Mom While You Were at Camp Contest appears below. This week's entry was submitted by Debbie Jones of Dover, MA. Dear Debbie, Dad and I (and the admin that I suspect is Dad's new mistress) are so happy to hear that your summer "job" at the Big Game Reserve in South Africa is going well (especially since Dad and...
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Funny story: A Couple of Swells Letters Pray to the Editor from Word Soil Association of British Insurers Sufferers

A Couple of Swells Letters Pray to the Editor from Word Soil Association of British Insurers Sufferers

Dear Sir Lancelot, when the red red robin did you last buy a decent living kettle of fish? I think they have forgotten how to make a popocatepetl proper cat and fiddle kettle these days of wine and roses grow on you. I blame the Chinese whispers, everything seems to be made in China now then now then. I bought it skipper a kettle drum down in the drink Batley High Street fighting man last we...
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Funny story: Letters To iRumors (Swift, Lohan, & Bachmann)

Letters To iRumors (Swift, Lohan, & Bachmann)

The following are letters that were written to the editor of the Los Angeles-based iRumors News Agency, Bacardi Cheyenne. Not one word has been deleted, omitted, changed, altered, amended, or otherwise modified. Dear iRumors - My wife of 17 years Violetta and I are wondering why it is that Taylor Swift only seems to ever write songs about her ex-boyfriends. Tucker Dryflame Kalamazoo, Michi...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Barcelona - Day Five - L'Aquarium. In his own words for once. "It was a weird sort of a day; day five. It kicked off with the kids getting bored in the apartment, so I had a conspiratorial word in the son-in-law's shell, and we decided to take them out for a walk to burn off some of that excess energy. "I don't know if any of you who are reading this know Barcelona at all - if you do, you...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

No trip to Barcelona is ever considered complete without a visit to the magnificent Nou Camp. Which is where Martin Shuttlecock went on Friday, accompanied by his football loving son in law. Who filmed the event for posterity, unknown to Shuttlecock. "He had one of them orbital cameras," Shuttlecock revealed. "What does films and that. I didn't know he was filming it. I thought he was just t...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Night time: Sagrada Familia, El Raval and Ladyboys - As regular readers are probably aware, Martin Shuttlecock can't write for peanuts, has no comprehension of the concept of humour, or irony, or even basic table manners. So we sent a Skoob News reporter out to interview him. In a cockroach infested crackhouse up an alley in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district. "It's not really all that...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Day two: Day two got lost somehow. So this is really day three part one. Day three part two will appear at some point today, providing day three isn't quite as hectic as day two. Deep joy on day two with the discovery of a shop that sells pies. Things were looking up. Then things looked up even more with the discovery of a chip shop that sells fish and chips, pies, mushy peas and gravy too!...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

"Well, that wasn't at all what I expected," said a decidedly disgruntled Martin Shuttlecock, from his garret in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district, last night. "The flight down here was pretty uneventful - although it wasn't a Lear jet, it was at least a jet, one of them airbus things. Still, at least we never did a belly flop onto the M27. And we didn't get served champagne by a bevvy of...
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Funny story: The Sad Reason Vanna White May Quit "The Wheel of Fortune"

The Sad Reason Vanna White May Quit "The Wheel of Fortune"

HOLLYWOOD - Vanna White has been turning the letters on the television game show Wheel of Fortune for 29 years. But an inside, unnamed source has just revealed that the 55-year-old may have to quit, what many say is the best darn job in the entire...
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Funny story: More Letters To The Editor From Those Curiously Afflicted

More Letters To The Editor From Those Curiously Afflicted

Dear Sir, I ham fighting through you on beehive of a much misunderstood grope off scufflers, mainly, hose hoot stupor from the friction whereby hay displace random herds with other swords witch either luck or wound a skittle bit scimitar. As ewe mustard seed, I amble cone of these importunates myself. Theseus hiss a moused perspexing disorder, being very scuttle hand mafeking the shuffler se...
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Funny story: Tittle to be dropped to save ink

Tittle to be dropped to save ink

With a world shortage of magnesium looming, the printing industry is looking at ways of saving this crucial ingredient in ink. "Magnesium has very few uses," said Hugh Packard, head of ink at Kodak. "It's main use is in the manufacturer of ink jet...
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Funny story: Dorking News: More (One, Actually) Letters To The Editor About History

Dorking News: More (One, Actually) Letters To The Editor About History

Dear Sir, I am writing in the hope that any of your readership may have a care for our lost histories. You see, I live here in Broadwoodwidger and am researching the lives of our ancestor, Edwin Puley, who was a Cheesewright and Noddler, and indeed served his time in your very environment before ending his days as a Master Cheesewright and Chief Noddler back here in Devon. I visited your...
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Funny story: Letters sent in error

Letters sent in error

Dear Mrs Fungle, Please accept my apologies for calling you a tight fisted old hag with dew drops and a wig that should have been put down years ago. We received your cheque this morning. Peter Morning Adl Electrical Supplies Dear Mr Dreem, After some consideration, I would not want to shove your head in a meat grinder and boil your testicles in hot jam. You are not a wanker and I...
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Funny story: The Dorking Sentinel: More Letters To The Editor

The Dorking Sentinel: More Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir, I write to you as it were a cry du cur from the heart, having had the misfortune to have read an article in your weekend supplement just gone. The weekend has just gone, I mean, not the supplement, which is still laid on my escritoire, ready for the recycling bin. There was I, in anticipation of reading some picturesque passages about Dorking's lovely scenery, on account of the hea...
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Funny story: Massive Increase in UK Postal Charges Looms: Buy Stamps Now

Massive Increase in UK Postal Charges Looms: Buy Stamps Now

An announcement about a huge hike in the cost of posting a letter seems imminent, with charges for a second class letter going up to around 55 pence and first class possibly exceeding 70 pence. This will see postal charges going up by more than 50%.
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Funny story: Babbacombe Man In Bee-Keeping Balls-Up

Babbacombe Man In Bee-Keeping Balls-Up

A man from Babbacombe, Torquay, has become involved in a bee-keeping furore that has caused confusion and outtrage among local residents. Bobby Babbington, 52, who lives in Alphabet Lane, Babbacombe, began b-keeping as a hobby and has amassed a co...
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Funny story: Selected Ridiculous Letters To The Editor

Selected Ridiculous Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir, I note that Paddington Bear will appear at Dalemain country house near Ullswater on the 25th and 26th of February, where he will visit The World's Original Marmalade Awards & Festival. He won't, though, not really. Because he doesn't actually exist, does he? Some soft-headed twerp buys his idiotic wife a teddy bear, then decides to write a book about an imaginary bear. It t...
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Breaking News...

New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!

The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!
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