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Funny story: Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers around the nation are worried that they may have to enter another job profession after several investors decided to develop a Watson Lawyer to advice and represent paying clients. Watson is an artificially intelligent computer system capab...
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Funny story: Lawyers sue Brian Williams for 'lying without a license'

Lawyers sue Brian Williams for 'lying without a license'

New York -- Suspended NBC news anchor Brian Williams is in trouble with the American Bar Association. The lawyers group has filed suit in Federal District Court here, charging that Williams is "cutting into our territory by lying, fibbing, and genera...
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Funny story: CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

LANGLEY, VA --CIA Director, John O. Brennan held a rare press conference today where he attempted to defend CIA torture post 9/11. Brennan, contradicting former CIA Directors, said, "It is unknowable whether useful intelligence was ever obtained...
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Funny story: "Offended" Woman to Sue

"Offended" Woman to Sue

A 23 year old London woman is to sue British Rail for what she claims is "personal trauma". It seems the woman boarded a subway train on the Bakerloo line on her way home from work. Then a couple of young men seated opposite her made what she cal...
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Funny story: Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

London, ENG. It was a feeding frenzy in London at the scene of an actual train wreck which happened in the vicinity of a popular solicitor watering hole. All of the solicitors swarmed upon the injured passengers, in some cases preventing first res...
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Funny story: Church of Scamatology to Sue Internet for Libel

Church of Scamatology to Sue Internet for Libel

CLEARLY CRIMINAL, FL. The Church of Scamatology announced today that they will be suing the Internet and that everybody connected with the Internet had better start getting their lawyers ready. "We are tired of being libeled by Wikipedia, gossip...
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Funny story: It's Official! $camatology Now Has More Lawyers than Members!

It's Official! $camatology Now Has More Lawyers than Members!

Clearly Criminal, FL In a breaking press release, Davey Makemerich, the Smarmy Smurf leader of Scamatology, has just announced that it's definitely, most definitively not true that the "Church" of Scamatology now has more lawyers defending its hundre...
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Funny story: Divorce Lawyers Line Up Outside Kim and Kanye's Wedding

Divorce Lawyers Line Up Outside Kim and Kanye's Wedding

It's the stuff fairytales are made of; Kim Kardashian is to finally wed her incredibly wealthy, highly successful soul mate, Kanye West. This is the most highly anticipated wedding of the year, possibly of all time, and has divorce lawyers across the...
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Funny story: Another Rowling Blockbuster

Another Rowling Blockbuster

A book called "From Bags to Bitches" has rocketed to the Number One slot in America. Written by Alma Chancer it had originally sold only two hundred and nine copies; but after a lawyer working for Schillings inadvertently leaked on a Twitter account...
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Funny story: A Massachusetts Judge Rules That Microsoft Can Legally Read Peoples Email

A Massachusetts Judge Rules That Microsoft Can Legally Read Peoples Email

BOSTON - A judge in Massachusetts has just issued a landmark directive which states that Microsoft legally has the right to read peoples email. Judge Erastus "The Gavel" Bockerbottle ruled that the corporate giant can read emails in the interest o...
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Funny story: Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...
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Funny story: Schillings in Major Court Case

Schillings in Major Court Case

Keith Schilling, major player in the "reputation and secrecy" law firm Schillings of London has taken out an injunction against himself. At a restaurant in Kensington last night he inadvertently tipped over a glass of Rothchilds' Chateau Lafite P...
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Funny story: Shyster lawyers in Caribbean slavery compensation scam

Shyster lawyers in Caribbean slavery compensation scam

Caribbean - "A classic, Ecuador-style bit of legalistic bullshit," is how constitutional experts have described some Brit shyster lawyers' attempts to sue the governments of the UK, France and Holland for acts of slavery committed by private individ...
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Funny story: Chimp Wins Art Contest, Hires Lawyer

Chimp Wins Art Contest, Hires Lawyer

No sooner was it announced that Brent, a 37-year-old Louisiana chimp, had won first prize in a chimpanzee art contest (read about it here on TheGuardian.com website) than the chimp called a lawyer to complain that the sanctuary where he lived would b...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Wants Edward Snowden To Appear On Celebrity Apprentice

Donald Trump Wants Edward Snowden To Appear On Celebrity Apprentice

MANHATTAN - The producer and host of Celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump has said that he would like to have the infamous NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden appear as a contestant on his hit NBC show. Trump, being a billionaire (thanks to daddy), kno...
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Funny story: Kobe "Boo-Hoo" Bryant Says His Mama Stole His Stuff

Kobe "Boo-Hoo" Bryant Says His Mama Stole His Stuff

LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant who missed the first round of the Los Angeles Lakers NBA playoffs because his foot was hurt now says that his mama has bruised the hell out of his ego. Bryant is madder than a woodpecker in Antarctica because his mother h...
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Funny story: Sad, Sad, Sad - Kobe Bryant Suing His Own Mother

Sad, Sad, Sad - Kobe Bryant Suing His Own Mother

TRENTON, New Jersey - Kobe "Vino" Bryant may scream, holler, and yell at his Laker teammates Pau Gasol, Metta World Peace, and Dwight Howard, but his mama, Pamela Bryant says she will not stand for him hollering at her and she has made it abundantly...
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Funny story: Michigan Bans The Green Bay Packer Cheesehead Hats

Michigan Bans The Green Bay Packer Cheesehead Hats

LANSING, Michigan - The Michigan state senate acting on the wishes of the citizens of Michigan has just voted 27-11 to ban the cheesehead hats worn by Green Bay Packer fans. State Senator Arthur H. Turntittle, 56, [R-Kalamazoo] told Sporting Chanc...
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Breaking News...

Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television".
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