Showing:

Funny satire stories about Knife

Try another search?

British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

Funny story: British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

In a bold move to reduce prison violence, the British government has announced that it will be taking away guns and knives from prisoners. The policy, which will be introduced in early 2017, will mean that prisoners in UK jails will no longer be able...

Read full story View 'British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners'

O.J. Simpson - Have sword will travel

Earlier this morning Med Star filming crew set up props on O.J. Simpson's former estate. They were preparing to film the last three episodes of Forensic Files. Filming was interrupted when the Prop Master found a knife buried under the Director's...

Read full story View 'O.J. Simpson - Have sword will travel'

Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

Funny story: Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

President Obama today fired Julia Peterson, head of the beleaguered Secret Service. Her strange testimony yesterday before congressional lawmakers was, no doubt, one of the reasons. When Chairman Issa asked her to explain why a deranged man carry...

Read full story View 'Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing'

Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

Funny story: Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

NASHVILLE, Tennessee - The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company has revealed to the public that they've just developed a brand new ultra-modern tire. The tire, known as the RMC-600, was developed totally out of recycled milk containers. The compan...

Read full story View 'Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers'

A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

Funny story: A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...

Read full story View 'A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools'

Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car

Governor Martin O'Malley has made a request for Maryland police to step up efforts to catch the butter knife killer after he crossed an alleged red line by gassing a couple in their smart car.The butter knife killer has killed 10 people in the Maryla...

Read full story View 'Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car'

Blackpool erect customs points

Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...

Read full story View 'Blackpool erect customs points'

O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

Funny story: O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...

Read full story View 'O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!'

"What A Carve Up!"

Funny story: "What A Carve Up!"

Regrettably, yet again (four) police officers have been stabbed while attempting to arrest a rather agitated, if not completely fucking loopy, nutter. The incident occurred in Kingsbury, Northwest London, on Saturday after a man had grabbed a knife f...

Read full story View '"What A Carve Up!"'

Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers who threaten the well-being of others will be forced to 'stand in a corner and face the wall' under new plans unveiled by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to restore order to the streets of Britain. The plans were revealed...

Read full story View 'Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke'

The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

Funny story: The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

In recent months, scientists at the North American Association of Foreplay and Sexuality (NAAFAS) have finished their study of spooning, and have discovered that spooning is not the only preferred way of remaining close to your partner after intimate...

Read full story View 'The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions'

Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

Funny story: Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...

Read full story View 'Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!'

Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Funny story: Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Researchers have discovered stone tools in Norfolk, UK, that suggest that early humans arrived in Britain nearly a million years ago - or even earlier. Ever since then, knife crime has been on the increase. In 2000BC alone there were a dozen...

Read full story View 'Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC'

More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

Funny story: More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

Phoenix Joe has just seen newly released statistics that you are more likely to get run over by a car than you are to go to prison for committing a knife crime in the UK. Which makes no sense of all the NuLab government claims to be getting tough on...

Read full story View 'More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime'

Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Funny story: Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Easter eggs and other chocolate can now through a loop hole in an old law carry blades and other weapons, as long as they are not the locking type that have been banned since 1903 unless sold only in small amounts, latest research suggests. The st...

Read full story View 'Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!'

Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Funny story: Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Myleene Klass was confronted by a yobs brandishing a small knife ouside her kitchen window but instead of letting the yobs frighten her Myleene grabbed a large kitchen knife and shouted "call that a knife this is a knife." It was like a repeat of...

Read full story View 'Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife'

Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

Funny story: Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

The government have announced they are to show 'disturbing and graphic' photographs of knife wound victims to teenagers, in an attempt to stop them from carrying knives. Maria Prannet, Labour MP, says "if we scare the bejeezus out of the little sh...

Read full story View 'Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies'

China hits US with pipes!

Funny story: China hits US with pipes!

According US Commerce Department spokesperson Bikey Schwinn China has been hitting people with pipes here in the United States. The small crack pipes make amazingly good weapons when wielded by Kung Fu artists from China. In retaliation, the US w...

Read full story View 'China hits US with pipes!'

Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
34 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more