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Funny story: Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

NASHVILLE, Tennessee - The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company has revealed to the public that they've just developed a brand new ultra-modern tire. The tire, known as the RMC-600, was developed totally out of recycled milk containers. The compan...
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Funny story: A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...
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Funny story: Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car

Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car

Governor Martin O'Malley has made a request for Maryland police to step up efforts to catch the butter knife killer after he crossed an alleged red line by gassing a couple in their smart car.The butter knife killer has killed 10 people in the Maryla...
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Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...
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Funny story: O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...
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Funny story: "What A Carve Up!"

"What A Carve Up!"

Regrettably, yet again (four) police officers have been stabbed while attempting to arrest a rather agitated, if not completely fucking loopy, nutter. The incident occurred in Kingsbury, Northwest London, on Saturday after a man had grabbed a knife f...
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Funny story: Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers who threaten the well-being of others will be forced to 'stand in a corner and face the wall' under new plans unveiled by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to restore order to the streets of Britain. The plans were revealed...
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Funny story: The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

In recent months, scientists at the North American Association of Foreplay and Sexuality (NAAFAS) have finished their study of spooning, and have discovered that spooning is not the only preferred way of remaining close to your partner after intimate...
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Funny story: Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...
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Funny story: Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Researchers have discovered stone tools in Norfolk, UK, that suggest that early humans arrived in Britain nearly a million years ago - or even earlier. Ever since then, knife crime has been on the increase. In 2000BC alone there were a dozen...
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Funny story: More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

Phoenix Joe has just seen newly released statistics that you are more likely to get run over by a car than you are to go to prison for committing a knife crime in the UK. Which makes no sense of all the NuLab government claims to be getting tough on...
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Funny story: Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Easter eggs and other chocolate can now through a loop hole in an old law carry blades and other weapons, as long as they are not the locking type that have been banned since 1903 unless sold only in small amounts, latest research suggests. The st...
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Funny story: Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Myleene Klass was confronted by a yobs brandishing a small knife ouside her kitchen window but instead of letting the yobs frighten her Myleene grabbed a large kitchen knife and shouted "call that a knife this is a knife." It was like a repeat of...
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Funny story: Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

The government have announced they are to show 'disturbing and graphic' photographs of knife wound victims to teenagers, in an attempt to stop them from carrying knives. Maria Prannet, Labour MP, says "if we scare the bejeezus out of the little sh...
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Funny story: China hits US with pipes!

China hits US with pipes!

According US Commerce Department spokesperson Bikey Schwinn China has been hitting people with pipes here in the United States. The small crack pipes make amazingly good weapons when wielded by Kung Fu artists from China. In retaliation, the US w...
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Funny story: Saftey swords now legal apparel in public and private

Saftey swords now legal apparel in public and private

LONDON England - The Queen today was reading some old history books, per her statement below, and made a major announcement affecting British society everywhere. Follows her statement, made this morning at her secret underground palace, in the under...
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Funny story: Anti-knife youth task force sells guns to raise money

Anti-knife youth task force sells guns to raise money

LONDON, England - According to Mr. Remington of London, a new anti-knife campaign including posters, tele and online adverts, music videos, and strippers is warning youth against using or even carrying knives. This rouge task force of young anti-k...
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Funny story: Doctors 'must report scalpel crime'

Doctors 'must report scalpel crime'

WASHINGTON DC - In the past, doctors only had to report cases of knife stabbings. Now they must tell police every time they stab someone with a scalpel, according to new guidelines from the AMA. They are also told they can breach patient confident...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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