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Funny satire stories about Kevin Garnett

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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

CELTICS NATION-Kevin Garnett hit a three pointer for the second game in a row. This has been treated in some circles like a man coming out of the proverbial closet wearing a feather boa. The shock has been palatable. Fans in Celtic Nation have beg...
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Funny story:  Tom Brady Agrees to Stay in New England with Kevin Garnett

Tom Brady Agrees to Stay in New England with Kevin Garnett

COLD NEW ENGLAND: Tom Brady has just lowered the bar for all overpaid quarterbacks in the NFL. By accepting a contract extension for peanuts with the Patriots, Tom has given them enough wiggle room to sign Wes Welker and Aqib Talib. Brady does...
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Funny story:  To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett doth protest too much. He keeps saying he is a Boston Celtic player for life. He knows life is too short-even to spend the rest of his career with Shorty Rondo. If Queen Gertrude of Hamlet knew nothing, then Garnett is the maste...
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Funny story:  Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

With Pope Benedict's edict that he will retire soon, superstar Kevin Garnett dropped a net on the ever-speculating press about his own retirement, but this threat may be a ploy to accept a trade from the green C's to the Holy See team. Could it be...
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Funny story:  Garnett and Pierce Face the Guillotine of Social Media

Garnett and Pierce Face the Guillotine of Social Media

Kevin Garnett can help any number of teams win a championship, but in Boston he is treated like Danny Ainge's used T-paper. Just because you score 25,000 points doesn't mean you will have any more respect among the Boston social media. Late in...
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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

CHARLOTTE - Word from the NBA rumor mill is that Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett will not be traded after all. But the 6-foot-11-inch tall center will however be leaving Boston. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, who broke the...
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Funny story:  Wherefore Art Thou Going, Kevin Garnett?

Wherefore Art Thou Going, Kevin Garnett?

Doc Rivers finally articulated what many fans have begun to feel: Rivers is sick and tired of all the "silly" trade rumors that have been tweeted by twits. Now that social media is in full flower, so is the silly season. Any moronic rumor that st...
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Funny story:  Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

We have learned what Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony that Mr. Anthony contends should never be said from one man to another. Melo, as he often is called in terms of endearment, found that Kevin Garnett had many unpleasant nicknames beyond Me...
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Funny story:  Carmelo Anthony's Soliloquy on Kevin Garnett

Carmelo Anthony's Soliloquy on Kevin Garnett

Last night after the game Carmelo Anthony stood over the dead carcass of the New York Knicks and cursed Brutus Garnett. Unlike Marc Antony, Carmelo took it a step further. He went to the doors of the Celtics locker room at Madison Square Garden an...
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Funny story:  All's Fair in Tugs of War When Kevin Garnett Suits Up

All's Fair in Tugs of War When Kevin Garnett Suits Up

Who wears short shorts indeed! In the manly NBA where shorts hang below the knees and above the belt, there cannot possibly be any hangers-on in the fashion spread. That is, until Sunday when Gerald Wallace and Kevin Garnett found themselves jocke...
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Funny story:  St. Kevin Garnett the Baptist

St. Kevin Garnett the Baptist

He is not always dressed in a camel's hair with a leather belt, nor does he hang out at the River Jordan, but he does own a camel's hair jacket and a leather belt, and spends a great deal of time hanging around the River Charles. We speak of KG, S...
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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett wants to play Point Guard

Kevin Garnett wants to play Point Guard

Kevin Garnett, aka KG, aka Skinny, aka that Lieutenant from the Wire, has made it clear to Celtics management that he is of the firm opinion that his talents would be best suited to that of Point Guard. Speaking to NBA.com, Garnett said, "Sometime...
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Funny story:  Boston Celtics Shut Off Phone Service to Ray Allen

Boston Celtics Shut Off Phone Service to Ray Allen

When it comes to speed dials and cell phones, the tin can with string will do just fine for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Once the reason Garnett came to Boston to play with the Celtics, Ray Allen jumped ship and swam to Miami over the off-season.
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Funny story:  Bromance Blossoms Between Shorty and KG

Bromance Blossoms Between Shorty and KG

According to reports and interviews from Celtics principal owner Wyc Grousbeck after the Ray Allen debacle this week, Kevin Garnett came to Boston because he wanted to play with Ray Allen five years earlier. However, he stayed after five years becau...
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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett To Be Celtic for Life

Kevin Garnett To Be Celtic for Life

With the reported deal to sign a contract with the Boston Celtics for three years, many Boston basketball fans see a new contract for Kevin Garnett's services as a life sentence. Though Kevin Garnett will not be showing up at the contract signing...
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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett: No Shades of Gray in His Retirement Picture

Kevin Garnett: No Shades of Gray in His Retirement Picture

Boston Celtic star Kevin Garnett has found a fountain of youth somewhere, according to friends like Kendrick Perkins and Shorty Rondo. Seventeen years in the NBA would turn a man to dust, but not the amazing Mr. Garnett. He became the Boston Celti...
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Funny story:  Kevin Garnett Plays It Close to the Vest-and Heart

Kevin Garnett Plays It Close to the Vest-and Heart

If you want to know what Rajon Rondo is thinking, ask OKC Thunder center Kendrick Perkins what he is thinking. If you want to know what Kevin Garnett is thinking, ask his former Timberwolves coach Flip Saunders who worked the postseason as a speci...
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Funny story:  Big Ticket & Big Papi Find the Fountain of Youth

Big Ticket & Big Papi Find the Fountain of Youth

David Ortiz and Kevin Garnett have been friends since their lonely and losing days in Minnesota, Ortiz with the Twins and Garnett with the Timberwolves. Each found redemption in the escape to Boston. Ortiz told Garnett that Boston may not be th...
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Breaking News...

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Achieves Orgasm

Ultra-Conservative Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says she achieved an orgasm last night as she was listening to Rush Limbaugh. "I really enjoyed it", Brewer stated.

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