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Funny satire stories about Kevin Garnett

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Funny story: Rajon Rondo Reveals He Won't Be Joining Ex-Celtic Ray Allen On The Miami Heat

Rajon Rondo Reveals He Won't Be Joining Ex-Celtic Ray Allen On The Miami Heat

BOSTON - Rajon Rondo said that he will never, ever play for the Miami Heat no matter how much money they offer or how much LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and Ray Allen beg him. Rondo said that one of the reasons is because it would mean th...
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Funny story: The Boston Celtics Clean House As They Send Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry Packing To The Brooklyn Nets

The Boston Celtics Clean House As They Send Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry Packing To The Brooklyn Nets

BOSTON - Well the Boston Celtics scenery just changed pretty darn quick as the Green team has traded Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry to the Nets of Brooklyn. The three spoke with The Sports Bet Gazette's Zorro La Bamba at a local Lips...
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Funny story: Boston Celtic's Coach Doc Rivers and Kevin Garnett Want To Head West To The L.A. Clippers

Boston Celtic's Coach Doc Rivers and Kevin Garnett Want To Head West To The L.A. Clippers

BOSTON - The Boston Celtics have been burning up the phone lines trying to deal Kevin Garnett and Coach Doc Rivers to The Los Angeles Clippers. Both Rivers and Garnett would love to head out West and play in Tinsel Town where the possibility for d...
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Funny story: David Ortiz Called Footsie Version of Typhoid Mary by Podiatrists

David Ortiz Called Footsie Version of Typhoid Mary by Podiatrists

BOSTON- Flat feet have become an epidemic in Boston. Top medical experts in Boston have discovered a link in the rash of foot injuries in the town's sports figures. For months the news has been disheartening. David Ortiz, DH and superstar of the R...
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Funny story: Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

CELTICS NATION-Kevin Garnett hit a three pointer for the second game in a row. This has been treated in some circles like a man coming out of the proverbial closet wearing a feather boa. The shock has been palatable. Fans in Celtic Nation have beg...
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Funny story: Tom Brady Agrees to Stay in New England with Kevin Garnett

Tom Brady Agrees to Stay in New England with Kevin Garnett

COLD NEW ENGLAND: Tom Brady has just lowered the bar for all overpaid quarterbacks in the NFL. By accepting a contract extension for peanuts with the Patriots, Tom has given them enough wiggle room to sign Wes Welker and Aqib Talib. Brady does...
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Funny story: To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett doth protest too much. He keeps saying he is a Boston Celtic player for life. He knows life is too short-even to spend the rest of his career with Shorty Rondo. If Queen Gertrude of Hamlet knew nothing, then Garnett is the maste...
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Funny story: Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

Boston Celtics To Make Trade with Vatican

With Pope Benedict's edict that he will retire soon, superstar Kevin Garnett dropped a net on the ever-speculating press about his own retirement, but this threat may be a ploy to accept a trade from the green C's to the Holy See team. Could it be...
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Funny story: Garnett and Pierce Face the Guillotine of Social Media

Garnett and Pierce Face the Guillotine of Social Media

Kevin Garnett can help any number of teams win a championship, but in Boston he is treated like Danny Ainge's used T-paper. Just because you score 25,000 points doesn't mean you will have any more respect among the Boston social media. Late in...
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Funny story: Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

CHARLOTTE - Word from the NBA rumor mill is that Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett will not be traded after all. But the 6-foot-11-inch tall center will however be leaving Boston. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, who broke the...
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Funny story: Wherefore Art Thou Going, Kevin Garnett?

Wherefore Art Thou Going, Kevin Garnett?

Doc Rivers finally articulated what many fans have begun to feel: Rivers is sick and tired of all the "silly" trade rumors that have been tweeted by twits. Now that social media is in full flower, so is the silly season. Any moronic rumor that st...
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Funny story: Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

Melo Anthony Told He is Too Tall To Be a Footman on Downton Abbey

We have learned what Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony that Mr. Anthony contends should never be said from one man to another. Melo, as he often is called in terms of endearment, found that Kevin Garnett had many unpleasant nicknames beyond Me...
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Funny story: Carmelo Anthony's Soliloquy on Kevin Garnett

Carmelo Anthony's Soliloquy on Kevin Garnett

Last night after the game Carmelo Anthony stood over the dead carcass of the New York Knicks and cursed Brutus Garnett. Unlike Marc Antony, Carmelo took it a step further. He went to the doors of the Celtics locker room at Madison Square Garden an...
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Funny story: All's Fair in Tugs of War When Kevin Garnett Suits Up

All's Fair in Tugs of War When Kevin Garnett Suits Up

Who wears short shorts indeed! In the manly NBA where shorts hang below the knees and above the belt, there cannot possibly be any hangers-on in the fashion spread. That is, until Sunday when Gerald Wallace and Kevin Garnett found themselves jocke...
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Funny story: St. Kevin Garnett the Baptist

St. Kevin Garnett the Baptist

He is not always dressed in a camel's hair with a leather belt, nor does he hang out at the River Jordan, but he does own a camel's hair jacket and a leather belt, and spends a great deal of time hanging around the River Charles. We speak of KG, S...
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Funny story: Kevin Garnett wants to play Point Guard

Kevin Garnett wants to play Point Guard

Kevin Garnett, aka KG, aka Skinny, aka that Lieutenant from the Wire, has made it clear to Celtics management that he is of the firm opinion that his talents would be best suited to that of Point Guard. Speaking to NBA.com, Garnett said, "Sometime...
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Funny story: Boston Celtics Shut Off Phone Service to Ray Allen

Boston Celtics Shut Off Phone Service to Ray Allen

When it comes to speed dials and cell phones, the tin can with string will do just fine for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Once the reason Garnett came to Boston to play with the Celtics, Ray Allen jumped ship and swam to Miami over the off-season.
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Funny story: Bromance Blossoms Between Shorty and KG

Bromance Blossoms Between Shorty and KG

According to reports and interviews from Celtics principal owner Wyc Grousbeck after the Ray Allen debacle this week, Kevin Garnett came to Boston because he wanted to play with Ray Allen five years earlier. However, he stayed after five years becau...
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Breaking News...

Dozens of Women Claim Cosby Never Raped Them

Although it's taken since 2006 when rape allegations against Cosby first emerged, his PR firm has managed to find MANY women who encountered Cosby but were never raped by him (to their knowledge).
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