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Funny satire stories about Kent

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Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

Funny story: Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

A former council worker who did not eat a chocolate bar quickly enough on a very hot day, leaving it completely melted, has been jailed for 11 years. Under the extended sentence for chocolate product protection, Joey Smith will have to serve two-t...

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Murderer Kevin Williams walks out of prison in Eastchurch on Sheppey, Kent

Funny story: Murderer Kevin Williams walks out of prison in Eastchurch on Sheppey, Kent

A convicted murderer walked out of an open prison by "asking the prison guards nicely to open the gate" and went to stay with a friend, a court heard. Police tracked down Kevin Williams at flats in Sheerness and instead of going back to Standford...

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Shopping centre evacuated after spillage

Funny story: Shopping centre evacuated after spillage

A busy shopping centre was evacuated after a water spillage occurred inside. The spillage is thought to have started on the ground floor of Wilkinson in The Pentagon Shopping Centre in Chatham, Kent at 5:30pm while a janitor was cleaning the floor...

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Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

Funny story: Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas and escaped with a large amount of money. Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town. But when...

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Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

Funny story: Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling chocolate bars through the Port of Dover. Richard Langford, 31, was caught with a staggering 5,000 kilos of Dairy Milk, 1,000 kilos of Galaxy and 3,000 U.S. Hershey's chocolate bars when he was stopped...

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10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

* Danielle Blackburn was arrested by police for drawing on the pavement outside her home in Kent * Father, Mick Blackburn, fully supports police over the arrest  A schoolgirl was arrested by police for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement,...

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Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

Funny story: Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

A section of the M2 has reopened - more than eight hours after an Asda receipt was found near a slip road. Highways Agency experts say the receipt has now been removed from near the exit slip road at Junction 5 of the M2 coastbound carriageway for...

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"BBC Licence Fee? Not in my backyard!" claims upper class man who can easily afford it

The BBC charges £145.50 to those that use it's services with funds going towards news coverage, educational content and entertainment, however not everybody is content - Christopher Fulford from Kent says "enough is enough". Mr Fulford,55, who own...

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My 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e 25th August

Funny story: My 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e 25th August

Monday Woke up late, go to unlock the door and check the (outdoor) post box. The key won't turn. Panic. Keep trying - nothing. Think about climbing out the window, or asking the neighbour who I've only met once, if I can go through their door. Eventually I get it open to much relief by not pushing the key in all the way! Wednesday Overheard Conversation Of The Week Girl to her fella "At the...

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Kent Private Detective On The Trail Of Tortoise Thief!

Funny story: Kent Private Detective On The Trail Of Tortoise Thief!

Curtis Johnny Ottoman, or Otto. as he is known by his friends, is on the trail of a serial Tortoise Thief in Kent, Twelveoaks. Being one of the few reptilian detectives in the western hemisphere, Otto is world famous for his sleuthing. "Tortoises...

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Ex-commando captures runaway pig

Funny story: Ex-commando captures runaway pig

A former Royal Marines commando used his military skills to deal with a huge white pig running amok in a Kent town. The pig, a Shropshire Prescott, was seen running from pub to pub in the Bath Road area of Margate. Police gave chase, and former comma...

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Village under 17 foot of snow

Funny story: Village under 17 foot of snow

The small village of Leigh near Tonbridge in Kent has officially become the snowiest place in Britain. The community is suffering under a staggering 17 foot of snow, the most since the last ice age The village was hit by a massive snowstorm last...

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Dear Kent Pete: I can't stop cheating on my husband!

Funny story: Dear Kent Pete: I can't stop cheating on my husband!

Dear Kent Pete. Please help me. I'm 22 years of age, live in Canterbury and have been married for just over two years. I have a one yea...

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Dear Kent Pete: Am I having God's baby?

Funny story: Dear Kent Pete: Am I having God's baby?

Victoria from Lewisham writes,...

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Viagra Workers In Health Scare

Funny story: Viagra Workers In Health Scare

Erith Kent - Production workers at a viagra factory in Kent have called in the Health and Safety Executive after noticing side effects of handling the drug. The factory at Biggar Muchley, near Maidstone, has ceased production.

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Kent Pete's Advice to parents Part Two

Your 15 year old son is showing signs of teenage depression. Over the last few months he has become plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making him extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure.

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Earthquake shakes the Kent coast

Funny story: Earthquake shakes the Kent coast

Following the devastating earthquake in the English Channel the expected tsunami wasn't as bad as first expected.

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Kent Hit by Death Rays

Funny story: Kent Hit by Death Rays

Our correspondant has discovered that the massive earthquakes which have rocked Kent this weekend were actually caused by death-rays directed from the newly discovered Earth-like planet Gliese 58,120 light years away.

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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