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Funny story: I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

Donor kebab has said it is tired of being a late-night booty call and wants men to admit to their relationship when sober and not only after consuming twenty-five Jaeger-bombs and enough ketamine to knock out a small bear. The statement came after...
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Funny story: Source Of Little Divot Food Poisoning Outbreak Revealed

Source Of Little Divot Food Poisoning Outbreak Revealed

'McNab's Kebabs' in the leafy village of Little Divot has been identified as the source of a recent food poisoning outbreak. Last Saturday night eight local clubbers were hospitalised after consuming kebabs following a night out at the 'Shit's and...
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Funny story: Man Threatens Dog With Kebab

Man Threatens Dog With Kebab

Police in Edinburgh have launched an investigation after a local dog was threatened with a doner kebab. The incident happened in the early hours of Wednesday morning in the Leith area of the city. The dog, Scamp, an executive with Woof Woof Com...
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Funny story: Henry IV Part 2 found under Barking kebab shop, innit

Henry IV Part 2 found under Barking kebab shop, innit

Isle of Dogs - Archaeologists are dead pleased at today's find of royal remains under Barking's Primadoner Kebab Emporium take-away. The Plantagenet king's bones were discovered during an elf 'n' safety procedure following complaints about a whiff...
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Funny story: Prince of Liechtenstein outed as Barking kebab shop owner, innit

Prince of Liechtenstein outed as Barking kebab shop owner, innit

Vaduz - 'Fabulously wealthy' Prince Alois of Liechtenstein has been unmasked as missing Barking kebab peddler Constantidis Paranoidius. The fugitive from justice is wanted on Isle of Dogs food poisoning charges following an outbreak of canine VD a...
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Funny story: Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Kebab shop owner Ali Baba today told of his pride at winning an award for his 'Family Octopus Jumper'. Baba, 43, who has owned the Kebab shop in Dorking High St for 6 years, keeps pet octopuses at his family home, but told how they suffere...
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Funny story: Dorking man sells fax machine

Dorking man sells fax machine

Ali Baba, owner of Dorking Kebab House on Dorking High St, announced today that he will be selling his fax machine as he discovered the only other owner of a fax machine in the United Kingdom lived in the flat above his shop. Mr Baba, 43, has owne...
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Funny story: 'Halal' Shish Kebab

'Halal' Shish Kebab

A glorified bunny, in Stockholm, knows how to herd the sheep. Additionally, a sheepdog breeder says the sheep seem to pay the rabbit minder a lot of respect. As a human-interest story, there are 700,000 You-Tube hits, but there is a chilling truth behind this story: why the sheep allow a little rabbit to move them around? Can we compare the other flock, people, with the literal sheep here?...
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Funny story: Camden kebab shop deconsecrates Amy shrine amid Pete Doherty apparition

Camden kebab shop deconsecrates Amy shrine amid Pete Doherty apparition

London - A spectral image that suddenly materialised on the Delancey Street Kebab Taverna window was a dead ringer for the Babyshambles musician proprietor Costas Kleftiko said today. The Camden takeaway is host to an unofficial shrine to deceased...
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Funny story: Pie And Pizza Diet Named 'World's Worst Ever'

Pie And Pizza Diet Named 'World's Worst Ever'

The International Federation Of Dieticians today named The Pie And Pizza Diet the worst in the world - ever. The diet, brainchild of Professor KFC McDonald of Sunderland College Of Arts And Technology was universally acknowledged as being utterly...
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Funny story: Holy guacamole! Spoof writer's face materialises on kebab wrapper at midnight on 54th birthday

Holy guacamole! Spoof writer's face materialises on kebab wrapper at midnight on 54th birthday

Dorking Magma - A writer from the Spoof website was in shock tonight as a strange oily apparition began, er, manifesting all over his £4.95p doner kebab wrapper.... just as he turned 54 years of age! At first glance the trompe l'oeil looked a dead...
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Funny story: Kebab takeaway on the menu for tonight's state banquet for Turkish President

Kebab takeaway on the menu for tonight's state banquet for Turkish President

London - 'Doner or shish?' will be the main course choice as President Abdullah Gul and his fetching wife dine with British royals at Buckingham Palace tonight. Apparently the Queen's chefs felt unable to rise to the exacting challenge of Turkish...
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Funny story: Crap Burgers And Kebabs To Blame For Civil Disorder In Worthing

Crap Burgers And Kebabs To Blame For Civil Disorder In Worthing

South coast kebab and burger entrepreneur Ali Bullo has blamed the recent unrest in Worthing on crap burgers and kebabs. Ali Bullo explained that, being elderly mobility scooter riders and decadent MILF's, most of the troublemakers couldn't handle...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse face appears on kebab pitta bread

Amy Winehouse face appears on kebab pitta bread

London - A Delancey Street kebab take-away owner was gobsmacked this weekend after an image of Amy Winehouse's face popped up on some pitta he was toasting. Costas Parasitidis said the spooky cameo appeared suddenly the moment he heard about Wineh...
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Funny story: How To Make The Perfect Chicken Sock Kebab

How To Make The Perfect Chicken Sock Kebab

Most of the world's top chefs wear socks, which goes a long way towards explaining their success in Michelin star awards, but the secret to top chefery lies in knowing which socks to wear whilst preparing a specific dish. Today, we shall be concentrating on the perfect chicken "sock" kebab - so called, because the barbecued chicken is stuffed gratuitously into a pitta bread, like a foot in a so...
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Funny story: Holland's Geert Wilders proves that Holland is a land of "Cheese Eaters" and not "Kebab Eaters"!

Holland's Geert Wilders proves that Holland is a land of "Cheese Eaters" and not "Kebab Eaters"!

Dutch, slightly righter than left politician, Geert Wilders, is on a holy mission. He wishes to prove not only to Holland, but also to the rest of the world that the Dutch are a nation of cheese eating, tulip growing, windmill worshipping weed smo...
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Funny story: 'SEXY' Kebab Introduced By Entrepreneur

'SEXY' Kebab Introduced By Entrepreneur

History making purveyor of fine kebabs, pizzas, fried chicken and fish and chips, Ali Bullo today turned the fast food world right on its head with the introduction of the 'SEXY' kebab, which according to analysts will propel the Ali Bullo Organisati...
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Funny story: Kebab Makes a Run For It During Busy Period

Kebab Makes a Run For It During Busy Period

Police are hunting a kebab which escaped from a three-in-one shop in Kilburn last night. The kebab in question is thought to have duped owners of the store by playing dead before making a dash for it during a busy period. At a hastily arranged...
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