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Funny story: Tales from the journal of seminal explorer Dr David Livingstone

Tales from the journal of seminal explorer Dr David Livingstone

Feb 23 1853 After a great journey through the jungle, we finally laid eyes on the most splendid water-fall I have ever seen. It stands over 100 yards high, and I have named it after our glorious Queen. We took a brisk lunch of crumpet and tinned marmalade, after which I ascended the great watery cliff face. How joyous it was to observe the view from such a height, and to feel the breeze from so...
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Funny story: Down In The Jungle

Down In The Jungle

Peru has called on explorers to stay away from an isolated Amazon basin rainforest tribe after pictures of 'uncontacted' tribal members were published on line. This news has had a devastating effect on famous explorer and registered semi-halfwit,...
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Funny story: Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Fatima Whitbread is being tipped to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here by an Australian bookie. "The Aborigine is the only fair dinkum bloke left in the programme since the scouser Freddie Starr chucked a sickie", claimed Crocodile Ocker.
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Funny story: Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Comedian Freddie Starr was dramatically rushed to hospital yesterday after eating Fatima Whitbread's testicles on I'm A Donut Get Me Out Of Here. The pot-bellied scouser suffered an allergic reaction to the Bushtucker Trial but dismissed reports t...
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Funny story: Mystery Amazon Tribesman - "Bugger Off. We're Not Lost, We're Hiding."

Mystery Amazon Tribesman - "Bugger Off. We're Not Lost, We're Hiding."

The discovery of another "lost" Amazonian tribe in dense rainforest, close to the Peruvian border, may have excited the world's scientific and archaeological communities, but according to reports, the tribesmen are none too pleased. It seems that...
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Funny story: Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Researchers have reported that the Amondawa tribe, who were first discovered in the depths of the Amazon rainforest in 1986, have no notion of time as an abstract concept. Chris Sinha, Professor of Psychology of Language at the University of Ports...
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Funny story: Stacey Solomon All Set To Rake In The Cash After Being Crowned Jungle Queen

Stacey Solomon All Set To Rake In The Cash After Being Crowned Jungle Queen

Newly crowned jungle Queen, Stacey Solomon is poised to earn squillions after her crowning as Queen Of The Jungle on Ant and Dec's I'm A Celebrity - And I've Fainted! Honest! Give Me Some Of Bob's Oxygen! The lovably dippy Essex girl mit der big b...
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Funny story: Feathersham finds the Lost Jungle Boy SuBo

Feathersham finds the Lost Jungle Boy SuBo

India: For the last 150 years there have been reports of a jungle boy named SuBo wandering the jungles/plains in India riding Tigers and Elephants. Dr. Peter Feathersham departed London England in 1900 via a steamship bound for India to find if th...
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Funny story: Jungle King Gino A Bit Worried About Coming Home

Jungle King Gino A Bit Worried About Coming Home

Italian chef and newly crowned King Of The Jungle, Gino D'Acampo was over the moon tonight following his richly deserved jungle triumph. Gino proved that he can cut the mustard when he's in a jam and that he can tolerate being surrounded by tarts,...
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Funny story: George of the Jungle Caught in Bed With Tarzan's Wife Jane

George of the Jungle Caught in Bed With Tarzan's Wife Jane

A fight is looming in the African jungles as George of the Jungle was caught in bed with Jane. The dim witted vine swinger was discovered doing the horizontal mambo with Tarzan's wife by Cheetah and an Ape named Ape (who met for their weekly game of...
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Funny story: Letter To Katie. Gone But Not For Long.

Letter To Katie. Gone But Not For Long.

It is with great sadness that I can confirm Katie Price has left the jungle. The bongo bosomed broad finally had enough of the trials set for her by the voting public. Will she finally now understand that people don't like her very much? Will s...
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Funny story: Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Former boxer Joe Bugner is set to have his own 'Rumble in the Jungle' when he becomes the latest to join I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. The heavyweight hardman is stepping in to replace Camilla Giddyup who quit the show after just five days.
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Funny story: Tarzan Begs For Custody of Michael Jackson's Chimp Bubbles

Tarzan Begs For Custody of Michael Jackson's Chimp Bubbles

In an amazing turn of events, yet another bizzare individual has thrown his loincloth in the ring in hopes of gaining custody of Michael Jackson's beloved chimp, Bubbles. Tarzan, world renowned dirty savage, has announced that he would be the per...
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Funny story: Jungle Based Romances Destined To Fail

Jungle Based Romances Destined To Fail

It was bound to happen. Jordan, and husband Peter Andre have announced that they are to split up. The couple met on TV reality show 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' which was set in a jungle somewhere in Australia, which was set up by Ant and Dec...
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Funny story: Jungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.

Jungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.

I'm a Celeb Get Me Out Of Here contestant and all round useless bitch Nicola 'Placcy-Baps' McLean (who we'd never even heard of prior to this because we don't read the Daily Liar) complained that her boobs were cold during a jungle trial, forcing the...
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Funny story: Timmy Mallet Hot New Tip For Cillit Bang Job

Timmy Mallet Hot New Tip For Cillit Bang Job

Much to Barry Scott's chagrin, it seems that he's about to get the boot from the lucrative Cillit Bang advertising contract, only to be replaced by celeb jungle irritating bastard Timmy Mallet, who remained an irritating bastard despite having gained...
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Funny story: I Wish I Was a Celebrity

I Wish I Was a Celebrity

With the celebrities already lined up for this season's I wish I was a celebrity get me into there announced, ITV are having to back track as several of the big names pull out when it is revealed they have to talk to Ant and Dec. Scam, the lead si...
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Funny story: The Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality

The Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality

It has been revealed today that the popular Disney movie The Jungle Book is actually a true story of prostitution and bestiality.
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I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.

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