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The Pre-Season Games

Professional “bitcher” and part time Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has claimed unless he’s allowed to sign all the players he wants, United could have a “very difficult season”. He is quoted as saying: "My CEO knows what I want. I k...

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Mourinho Bites Back

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has launched into a astonishing defence of his time at United. Predictably blaming anything and everything but himself for a string of mediocre performances throughout the season. He said: Against Sevil...

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Carricks Conundrum

Jose Mourinho has sensationally revealed to Back and to the Left news why "past it" midfielder Michael Carrick hasn't had much playing time. The Portuguese with the Napoleon complex waved his hands around a lot before fixing us with those piggy littl...

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Jose's Mindset

Who would have thought throwing £300million at a team would change them from a terrible one to a decent one? Well everyone except Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho who firmly believes the sun revolves around his giant ego. The only surprise now...

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Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

Funny story: Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

After the mega success of Manchester United in the Europa League, Jose Mourinho, has decided he needs to strengthen his squad and has handed CEO, Ed Woodward, a list of 500 players he wants! The media circus around United is going bananas speculat...

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Why is the "Special One" always grumpy?

Funny story: Why is the "Special One" always grumpy?

Jose Mourinho, Manchester United manager, seems to have a chip on his shoulder as big as his salary because he is always grumpy! A soccer shrink working for Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) called, Sir Blubby Blusby, has been studying...

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The world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!

Funny story: The world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!

Manchester, Sunday 15th on January, sees two once titanic giants clash in a Theater of Dreams, or a nightmare for one, depending who wins and loses this monumental battle. The crowns of these two giants has slipped drastically in recent years, but...

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United sack Jose Mourinho!

Funny story: United sack Jose Mourinho!

The Manchester United board of directors have decided to part way with their recently acquired manager, Jose Mourinho! After 3 successive wins and a run of 10 games unbeaten the board told the parasitical British press that this was an unacceptable s...

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The Special One admits being special is not so special!

Funny story: The Special One admits being special is not so special!

The great Manchester derby ended with The Special One not being so special whilst providing their noisy neighbors with special gifts that only Fools and Horses would give away. However, in his defence, that resembled a Swiss Cheese factory, after...

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The Pog Returns

In the most surprising move of the summers transfer window amateur rapper, style icon and part time footballer Paul Pogba has joined Manchester United in a word record £105million quid deal. The deal was finally pushed through in the early hours o...

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Pogbas Pogs

The sensational £100 million transfer of Paul Pogba (The French Lee Cattermole) to Manchester United is being held up by one tiny detail. Pogba's involvement in a upcoming TV show which he will host called: Pogbas Pogs. In the ten part series (wit...

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Manchester City pay man £50m a year to remove pizza from Joe Hart's diet

Pep has been in place for a few weeks now and City's head honcho has managed to work out exactly why the team under achieved last season. Pizza. Yes, you can assume that City will not be announcing Pizza Express as their official Pizza Partner...

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Transfer speculation Part one

The transfer silly season is now in full swing with millions of pounds being thrown at players who barely know how play the offside trap and who think "man on" is a homophobic slur. In a effort to cut through the lies and deceit in these the most...

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The Boreiniho Effect

Funny story: The Boreiniho Effect

Despite England's glorious failure in the Euros English football fans can at least console themselves with the fact the Premier League season starts soon. The sheer amount of money sloshing around like diarrhoea in a bucket makes it impossible that w...

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The Special One replaces The Senile One!

Funny story: The Special One replaces The Senile One!

As if the insanity surrounding Dutchman, King Louis van Gaal, was not enough, he has now been sentenced into exile in his Portuguese sanitorium and is being replaced by a special Portuguese Man of War, who has a lethal sting. In fact, the story is ev...

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Encounters of a third kind in English Premier League!

Funny story: Encounters of a third kind in English Premier League!

There is no doubt about the facts behind Leicester City winning the English Premier League, they were visited by aliens! It seems that after the visits the whole club has been transformed into an extra-terrestrial habitat for passing flying saucers!...

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Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

Funny story: Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

To quash all rumours, tabloid garbage, and ex- United players blowing their trumpets about Louis van Gaal, probably the most hated United manager since Dave Sexton, United's board have announced their support for the rather unstable Dutch sergeant ma...

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British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp!

Funny story: British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp!

British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp! The "Hexenjagd" of the disgraceful, lying, deceitful British tabloids has reached a new low! They claim to have Manchester United's manager, Louis van Gaal's scalp! As usual it's a bunch...

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Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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