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John Reid Resigns As Celtic Chairman

Dr John Reid has confirmed that he is to end his 4 year reign as chairman of Celtic FC. The former Labour minister will be succeeded by whisky magnate and fellow lifelong Hoops fan, Ian Bankier. Confirming that he will stand down at the club's...

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Bald man arrested

Funny story: Bald man arrested

Former home secretary has been arrested today after being stopped by the police for indecently exposing his head in public.

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Tough New Crime Measures

Funny story: Tough New Crime Measures

In his final speech as Home Secretary, John Reid has announced radical new plans to reduce the UK's soaring crime rate, overhaul sentencing and address the problem of over crowded prisons.

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Potential Murderer Released Early

Funny story: Potential Murderer Released Early

In an unprecented move, outgoing Home Secretary John Reid has granted early release to potential murderer Albert Toshack, 4, from Wirral.

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Taxi drivers to suggest all government policies after success of paedophile castration proposal

Funny story: Taxi drivers to suggest all government policies after success of paedophile castration proposal

John Reid, New Labour's Thug-in-chief, has outlined plans to invite the nation's taxi drivers into the policy-making progress. This comes after the success of the "chemical castration" proposal for paedophiles, suggested by cabbie,...

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Dr. John Reid Admits To Being Mystery "Hetero Male" Viewer of BBC's "Any Dream Will Do"

Funny story: Dr. John Reid Admits To Being Mystery "Hetero Male" Viewer of BBC's "Any Dream Will Do"

LIVERPOOL, UK - 06/06/07. At GayCon UK, the UK's premiere Gay Conference, guest speaker and affirmed "pink-potter" Dr. John Reid today confirmed that he was the mystery "Hetero Male" viewer of BBC's acclaimed pansy singing...

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Government Backs Down - Public Inquiry Soon

Funny story: Government Backs Down - Public Inquiry Soon

After intense public and media pressure, the Government this morning caved-in, and has said that it will, after all, hold a Public Inquiry. Indeed, the Home Secretary John Reid, a dimwit, confirmed t...

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John Reid announces every day to be April Fools Day

Funny story: John Reid announces every day to be April Fools Day

I suppose that the next logical step after Tesco law, should be the introduction of Tesco jails. Local clinks are to be built on every street corner, to imprison for up to 4 hours, anyone found to be dropping litter or allowing their dogs to foul the...

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Reid Unveils 'Bloody Foreigner' Plan

Funny story: Reid Unveils 'Bloody Foreigner' Plan

Home Secretary and celebrated dimwit John Reid has said that a clampdown has been launched targetting "bloody foreigners who come to our country illegitimately and steal our benefits and women".

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John Reid Takes Action On Guns

Funny story: John Reid Takes Action On Guns

John Reid has taken decisive action by going out with a high powered rifle and shooting anyone he thinks may have a gun on or about their person.

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Fake Doctor Gillian McKeith Gets Support From Dr. John Reid

Funny story: Fake Doctor Gillian McKeith Gets Support From Dr. John Reid

Dr. Gillian McKeith, the TV nutritionalist, who has been told by the advertising standards authority not to use her doctorate to endorse products because it's not up to much, has received support from fellow Scot, Dr. John Reid (...

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Do-Gooders Who Sign Identity Cards Petition Are Beaten Up

Funny story: Do-Gooders Who Sign Identity Cards Petition Are Beaten Up

When the group NO2ID travelled to Downing Street and delivered a petition signed by 18 million people opposed to the introduction of identity cards, they got more than they bargained for. On their return, each of the people who had signed the petitio...

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Britain is Far Better Than Brazil At Everything

Funny story: Britain is Far Better Than Brazil At Everything

Compared with Brazil, the UK's kids are happy as sandboys. They are not gun crazy, like Brazilians. Brazil is a pathertic 56th in the world at making money per head, whereas we're a mighty 19th. And...

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Comedians defend Reid heckler: "I've never got his jokes either"

Funny story: Comedians defend Reid heckler: "I've never got his jokes either"

Some of Britain's top comedians and Ben Elton have rallied round Abu Izzadeen, the Muslim preacher who was arrested for heckling John Reid.

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"John Reid is a Dimwit" - Clever Man

Funny story: "John Reid is a Dimwit" - Clever Man

British Home Secretary John Reid has come under fire once more today, as the row over jailing dangerous criminals intensifies.

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London Alert After 'Fiend' Talks to Neighbour

Funny story: London Alert After 'Fiend' Talks to Neighbour

Armed police closed off areas of Hackney today, after a man talked to his neighbour sparking off a major security alert. The man, Den Macintosh who got away, is thought to have visited several shops, buying...

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All UK Residents To Be Fitted With Tracker Chip By 2012

Funny story: All UK Residents To Be Fitted With Tracker Chip By 2012

As part of the government's relentless plan to snoop on people 24 hours a day, news is emerging about a leaked memo that will see all of us being fitted with microchips if new proposed legislation is passed.

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Prescott and Reid in Scuffle: More bad news for the government.

Funny story: Prescott and Reid in Scuffle: More bad news for the government.

Deputy Prime Minister and ladies man John Prescott is to have a fight with Sycophantic Home Secretary John Reid this afternoon at half past three.

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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