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Job Centre Conundrum

The Government announced that strange new powers were to be granted to Job Centre staff. As well as teaching them advanced telepathy, speed wanking to Facebook profiles they will be given the ability to order people to work for free before they are a...

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UK Army Sent on Top Secret Mission to Job Centre

LONDON - After a long, well-worn night, the Ministry of Defence (MoD), has said that they will send nearly 1000 troops to 51.5 degrees North, 1.902 degrees West. The MoD say that the locals call it a 'Job Senter'. "You see," said a spokesman,...

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Limited success for new Jobseekers Allowance Queuebuster tickets

Funny story: Limited success for new Jobseekers Allowance Queuebuster tickets

The government's latest attempt to improve services to the increasing numbers of unemployed by introducing queuebusters tickets has met with limited success. The tickets, which costs just £20, allow jobseekers to skip to the front of the line, ens...

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Adverts for sex workers to be banned from local job centre

Funny story: Adverts for sex workers to be banned from local job centre

The ConDem coalition has finally got something right. A spokesman reportedly said, "We cannot allow such overt exploitation to occur and the placing of such adverts will be discontinued. In addition this will cut the number of Eastern European imm...

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Unemployed woman gets paper cut and sues Job Centre

Funny story: Unemployed woman gets paper cut and sues Job Centre

Bristol, England - An unemployed mother of four children (with five different fathers) has announced she is suing Job Centre, after attaining a paper cut whilst filling out a form. The 18 year old who has never had a job and has been permanently pre...

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De-Luxe Superjobcentres To Cater For Unfortunate Professionals?

Funny story: De-Luxe Superjobcentres To Cater For Unfortunate Professionals?

Calls were made today by powerful lobby groups in Westminster for the establishment of Superjobcentres at strategic locations around the country, which would cater for the legions of unemployed professional white-collar workers, many of whom have bee...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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