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Funny satire stories about Jimmy Savile

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Funny story: Jimmy Savile - Case Closed!

Jimmy Savile - Case Closed!

The Jimmy Savile Inquiry into paedophilia that has been ongoing since October 2012 has been officially closed. Sir Winston Pike conducting the inquiry said that the case has been officially closed from lack of reliable evidence. "After due consul...
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Funny story: TheSpoof.com Dead Right Again!

TheSpoof.com Dead Right Again!

Here is a verbatim report from an article in a leading British Paper. We are not making this up. This is actually what it said: "Sex scandal Labour grandee Lord Janner has been probed over ­allegations he was part of a ­Westminster paedophile ring. The Met police spent six months investigating claims the peer - said to be too frail from dementia to be prosecuted - was a guest at London sex a...
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Funny story: British lads now called polygamist for living out of wedlock

British lads now called polygamist for living out of wedlock

Polygamy is being practiced on an "enormous" scale within the British Celtic community without any official attempt to stop it, it has been claimed by the Church of Engerland. A new study of the lives of Celtic women concludes that large numbers a...
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Funny story: "Jim'll Fix It" To Be Revived - Controversy

"Jim'll Fix It" To Be Revived - Controversy

The program, "Jim'll Fix It" is being considered for possible revival with a brand new Jim. The studio hopes to approach various actors for the part of 'Jim', including Captain Tiberius Kerk from the Starship Enterprise. Within hours of the prop...
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Funny story: BBC Shelves Top Of The Pops

BBC Shelves Top Of The Pops

Due to the amount of t.o.t.p presenters who have now been in trouble with the law, the b.b.c have finally held their hands up and admitted it's time to axe all Top of the Pops repeats on b.b.c.4 + any future planned events. The list of crimes include...
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Funny story: Police now searching random 70's pop singers houses in hope to find evidence of sexual offences

Police now searching random 70's pop singers houses in hope to find evidence of sexual offences

In a bold attempt to clamp down on historic sexual offences against minors or women, the London Metropolitan Police have decided to randomly searched all homes of pop singers and TV presenters from the 1970's, with the aim of finding some evidence of...
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Funny story: Scary Convicted Celebrity Haunted House Opens in Waxwork Museum

Scary Convicted Celebrity Haunted House Opens in Waxwork Museum

An extremely bad taste haunted walk attraction has opened in Madame Tossard's Chamber of Horrors in London. Having to compete with The London Dungeon and various other scary museums, Mme Tossard's has sexed up its act. Mme Tossard, the C.E.O. tol...
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Funny story: Jimmy Saville Ate My Hamster - Peers Morgan

Jimmy Saville Ate My Hamster - Peers Morgan

General all - purpose monster Jimmy Saville was allegedly so evil that he would regularly eat Peers Morgan's Hamster alive. The famous 1990s red top tabloid headline was thought to be about someone else but it was revealed this morning by sources...
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Funny story: Group of TV presenters arrested after they admit to liking small boys

Group of TV presenters arrested after they admit to liking small boys

A group of TV presenters, who wish to remain nameless due to the nefarious nature of their activities, have admitted that they all like small boys, with each trying to outdo the other in relation to amassing a collection of them. They were all arr...
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Funny story: Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Impressarios have been queuing up to put on a Hi-Tech Hologram Show featuring a posthumous album release by a dead druggie paedophile. The paedophile cannot be named as his family sue the ass off anything that moves. Leading Necro-pervert D.J. S...
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Funny story: Public bored with DJs and C list celebrities being taken to court

Public bored with DJs and C list celebrities being taken to court

Recent Media "overkill" featuring "has been" celebrities going to court has led to cries of "Let's have a 'Strictly' style sudden death televised phone in" to let the public decide if they are to be punished or not. Ideas for what punishments to dish out include: - Forced watching of Soaps with multiple choice tests afterwards for soap haters. - 3 year sentences of football match highligh...
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Funny story: Pensioner de-frocked 500 priests. I am sick of paedophiles, he rants

Pensioner de-frocked 500 priests. I am sick of paedophiles, he rants

Pensioner Pope Benedict XVI de-frocked 500 priests while in office, Vatican sources admitted. Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi initially said the AP report was rubbish. The latest statistics reveal the number of priests defrocked in 2011 and 20...
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Funny story: Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

London, UK - Queen Elizabeth is to issue a Royal Pardon in the New Year's Honors List forgiving one of the nation's top sex offenders plus some very lucky mates. The new spirit of reconciliation with excluded minorities means prolific serial perv...
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Funny story: More Pathetic Letters To The Problem Page

More Pathetic Letters To The Problem Page

Dear Sir, I write in the hope that you might sympathise with my plight. For none of mine aquaintance could be expected to proffer aught but brickbats, opprobrium or the cold shoulder. You see, I have somehow acquired the reputation for being a bringer of ill-fortune. "Get away!" they cry. "Why haunteth thou me thus?" If I was a young man, I would have run away to sea long ago. Your...
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Funny story: Savile inquiry spreads to Royal Freak Hospital

Savile inquiry spreads to Royal Freak Hospital

London - Described as the global epicenter of NHS quackery during the Dr Andrew Wakefield MMR scam the Royal Freak has come once again under intensive screwtiny in a police probe into Jimmy Savile stuff. The screwball paedo had a queer fondness fo...
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Funny story: New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'

New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'

London - 'Just like Jill Dando?' - A new nail in Princess Di's coffin has appeared with reports that she and Dodi might have been topped after all as many Brits still believe because she knew lots of Jimmy Savile stuff. The carefully choreographed...
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Funny story: Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

London - Professional profilers analyzing serial monster Jimmy Savile's depraved 60-year rampage are asking the inevitable, 'just how really bad was this bastard?' A confidential briefing this week will see sleuths from the Met's Serious & Or...
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Funny story: Frankie Howerd on Margaret Thatcher

Frankie Howerd on Margaret Thatcher

Well. Here we are. Here we, ooh, no. Ooh. Ah. Ooh, I don't know where to put meself. Don't know which way to turn tonight. Yes, Missus, you've been there, haven't you? Hmm? You've felt my predicament. Look, now don't start. Shut your mouth. Oh, the riff raff we get in here. But ooh. Ah. No. Don't. Hasn't it been a hard winter? It's been a hard winter. And it's not over yet, I can tell you. Ooh,...
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Westboro Ass-Tits

The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
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