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Funny satire stories about Jihadists

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Jihadi John "would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids"

RAQQA, SYRIA - "Who'd have thought?" Jihadi John muttered to himself "that it'd end up like this." In the end it hadn't been a drone that had brought the man known only as Jihadi John, from West London but joined the so-called Islamic State in 2012,...

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The Sun V the Sun

Funny story: The Sun V the Sun

As Britain resides in the grip of a paralysis due to a foreign invader (the sun) Back and to the Left news decided to get some insight into this deadly heat wave. We spoke to Sun journalist Farr Right to try and gauge the nation's feelings on these,...

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Heaven Running out of Virgins

Funny story: Heaven Running out of Virgins

With war raging in the Middle East and terror attacks happening with greater frequency all over the world, heaven is starting to run out of virgins. According to the Koran, every Jihadist who dies is promised 72 virgins, but ever since the Syrian civ...

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The NRA Changes Its Name To 'Jihadist Rifle Association' Because That Is Where The Money Is Now.

Funny story: The NRA Changes Its Name To 'Jihadist Rifle Association' Because That Is Where The Money Is Now.

The National Rifle Association, smelling a chance to increase its profits and its membership, has decided to follow the money and change their name to 'Jihadist Rifle Association' instead. The NRA, long a secret backer of any American tragedy that...

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Jihadis Attempt to Blow Up Great Pyramid, Extra-Terrestrials Return Fire!

On Tuesday morning, a ragtag band of Muslim fundamentalists attempted to tunnel under the Great Pyramid of Giza with the intent of planting and detonating a crude thermonuclear device underneath it. They were instantly annihilated by an intense brea...

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'Bwahaha, it's not fair Mom' as Jihadi tough guy phones home whinging about theft of crack cocaine stash

Funny story: 'Bwahaha, it's not fair Mom' as Jihadi tough guy phones home whinging about theft of crack cocaine stash

Krak des Chevaliers, Syria - Cops have taped a phone call from a top ISIS commander on the blower to his Mom in the London suburb of Barking, Isle of Dogs, moaning about the theft of his crack stash. Jihadi John, a.k.a. Mhamed Emwazi bin-the-Khaz...

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Jihadi tweets that #momoftheyear vid footage 'is fake'

Funny story: Jihadi tweets that #momoftheyear vid footage 'is fake'

Damascus, Syria - A video of a Baltimore mother head-slapping her feckless son for rampaging at the city's recent riots has been staged for prophet a leading Jihadi webshite has warned. "This fake Western propaganda fools no one," Mustapha Pee, m...

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Jihadis pissed at German pilot's harakiri limelight snatch

Funny story: Jihadis pissed at German pilot's harakiri limelight snatch

Syria - Leaders of the wannabe caliphate are threatening to sue a dead GermanThings Airline pilot for stealing the limelight with his harakiri plunge. Jihadi top brass are claiming sole global copyright on nutjob atrocities involving mass civilian...

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IS snuff movie paraphernalia ads spam Saudi Justice Ministry website

Funny story: IS snuff movie paraphernalia ads spam Saudi Justice Ministry website

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - Hundreds of pop-up ads for sex torture instruments have plastered the website promoting Jihadis' favorite snuff movie props. The array of decapitation, amputation and flogging must-haves appeared as Islamic State fanatics re...

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Sabotage suspected as 3m self-assembly speakers' chairs flummox Iran National Consultative Assembly

Funny story: Sabotage suspected as 3m self-assembly speakers' chairs flummox Iran National Consultative Assembly

Tehran - IS Jihadis are in the frame for a suspected hoax wrought on the hapless Iranian official in charge of national procurement, 'excluding hookers'. The deception has sent Ayatollah Rough Son Johnny Jr squealing to the dog house about his pur...

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Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Funny story: Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Los Angeles - An LAX press conference heard this evening how three runaway schoolgirls blamed a US-based Scamatology recruitment website for grooming them to run away from home as Jihadi matrimonial bait. Homeland Insecurity officials said Fatima,...

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Relief as plane lands safely - Mostly due to the efforts of the "Carry On Jihad" team

Funny story: Relief as plane lands safely - Mostly due to the efforts of the "Carry On Jihad" team

There was huge relief last night when it was revealed that a plane had landed safely despite FIVE seperate plots to bring it down. Flight MH 666 touched down safely in Dubai against incredible odds, and only because of some of the most inept attempts...

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An Open Letter To Al Queda And Its Branch Affiliates

Funny story: An Open Letter To Al Queda And Its Branch Affiliates

Good day guys. How is it going? Blow up anything fun today? Shoot your quota of infidels yet? OK, sorry you're having a bad day. Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are all guys. I doubt you've opened a female branch) Alright, lets get started here. Now I know you claim to be a religious organization. The "Holy Men of Allah" or something like that.

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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