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Funny story: Eric Cantor: "Godzilla Scares Me"

Eric Cantor: "Godzilla Scares Me"

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor told Hollywood Beat Magazine that he is indeed scared of Godzilla. "He really frightens me" a subdued Cantor told reporter Holly Sue Robbins "After I saw Godzilla VS. Space Godzilla, I have nightmares". Cant...
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Funny story: 69 Years Later, Jews Still Angry Over That Whole Nazi Thing

69 Years Later, Jews Still Angry Over That Whole Nazi Thing

Buenos Aires, Brazil - Despite the passage of nearly 70 years, many Jews are still holding onto anger over the attempt by the German Nazi Party to exterminate them as a people group. "They tried to kill us out of existence, as a people, as a rel...
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Funny story: Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis Promote Animal Cruelty to Protect Religious "Rights"

Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis Promote Animal Cruelty to Protect Religious "Rights"

Chabbad-linked Rabbi Yirmiyahu Menachem Cohen, head of the rabbinical court in Paris, wrote a letter to Israeli Minister of Agriculture Yair Shamir, in which he stated that legislation in Israel to ban the import of the delicacy fois gras, the fatted...
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Funny story: Orthodox Jews Can't Find Trump Tower Entrance - Dial 911

Orthodox Jews Can't Find Trump Tower Entrance - Dial 911

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A group of orthodox Jews from Israel, in town for an arms convention and the Letterman Show, ended up calling police as they couldn't find the entrance to the Trump Tower. When S.W.A.T arrived, they found the group furiously h...
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Funny story: Researchers Find Link Between ultra-Orthodox Judaism and OCD

Researchers Find Link Between ultra-Orthodox Judaism and OCD

Through long-term qualitative and quantitative research, scientists have uncovered a direct link between ultra-Orthodox and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The research was conducted by top-level researchers for the past ten years and includes surveys...
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Funny story: Shocking Winner for Best Hipster Facial Hair Announced

Shocking Winner for Best Hipster Facial Hair Announced

At the annual Hipster Facial Hair Contest, thousands of hipsters came together to vote on the facial hair that does the best job of effortlessly making the unattractive be attractive. In the past, typical hipster celebrities, like Michael Cera with h...
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Funny story: Women Wearing Tallitot Turn Men Gay

Women Wearing Tallitot Turn Men Gay

The Israeli ultra-Orthodox Rabbinate has released its newest ruling that states that women wearing Tallitot or Tefillin turn men gay, specifically ultra-Orthodox men. "We have gender roles to ensure that each of us knows how we should act and int...
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Funny story: Jerusalem: City of culture

Jerusalem: City of culture

Derry is by no means the only city in the world that ever got the "City of Culture" gong. A lost book by ancient historian Josephus could set the world alight if it is released to the public. Archaeologists came across the script in a cave near the Dead Sea and believe it to be genuine. It describes in detail what exactly happened to Jesus Christ. According to Josephus, Jerusalem had been g...
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Funny story: Israeli Rabbinate Implements Jewdar

Israeli Rabbinate Implements Jewdar

Jerusalem, Israel - The Israeli Rabbinate, determined on increasing its efficiency so it can improve profitability, has developed Jewdar. Leveraging Israeli's hi-tech sector and implementing cross-industry knowledge, the Israeli Rabbinate has develop...
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Funny story: God Takes Early Retirement Citing "Force of Circumstances"

God Takes Early Retirement Citing "Force of Circumstances"

At a hastily convened press conference in Heaven today, a depressed supreme deity who goes by the aliases of God, Jehovah, Yahweh and Allah announced that he could no longer carry on and was taking early retirement. Speaking in tongues, including...
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Funny story: Posters in Tel Aviv Require People to Act Secular

Posters in Tel Aviv Require People to Act Secular

Over the weekend, flyers were posted around Tel Aviv demanding that within the city limits people respect the customs of the city. The signs call for both men and women to abide by modern day customs and dress. Specifically, when in Tel Aviv, women s...
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Funny story: Celebrity misquotes

Celebrity misquotes

Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...
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Funny story: Channel E! Announces New Show: Keeping up with Chief Rabbis

Channel E! Announces New Show: Keeping up with Chief Rabbis

After the contemptuous race for new Chief Rabbis of Israel, a new Ashkenazi and Sephardic Rabbi have been announced - David Lau as the Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi and Yitzhak Yosef as the Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel. The race, which received more media...
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Funny story: Designer Sunglasses Giant Selects Spiritual Spokes Model

Designer Sunglasses Giant Selects Spiritual Spokes Model

Today designer sunglasses manufacturer Bay-Ran announced that it has selected a new spokesmodel for its line of men's sunglasses - Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, former Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel. This choice comes as a surprise to many who had been follow...
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Funny story: Helen Thomas: another hater bites the dust

Helen Thomas: another hater bites the dust

WASHINGTON, DC --- Aspiring centenarian and anti-Semite, Helen Thomas, 92, died at home following a long mental illness. As he prepared his eulogy concerning the contrarian White House press corpsman, speechwriters reminded President Obama that "corp...
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Funny story: Women of the Wall and Ultra Orthodox men embrace, dance hava nagilla together

Women of the Wall and Ultra Orthodox men embrace, dance hava nagilla together

The Women of the Wall, a group of pluralistic Jewish women, who have been meeting the first day of every Jewish month at Jerusalem's Western Wall since 1988, finally reached their goal this week when Ultra Orthodox men embraced the group with open ar...
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Funny story: Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Its official! Matt Damon is to play the outgoing Pope Benedict in a new Hollywood blockbuster being penned for release in 2014. Matt Damon a well known Bostonian Catholic from Boston, today spoke about his new role in press release which has got C...
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Funny story: Once Upon a Time In a Little Jewish Hacienda, 33CE

Once Upon a Time In a Little Jewish Hacienda, 33CE

Judas Nobody here. Thomas Don't sweat it. He'll be right here. Judas Maybe he's on break. Thomas 10AM? I doubt it. Judas Well, I don't mind telling you, I'm getting tired of all this. Thomas All what? Judas The dirty work. Thomas What dirty work? Judas His dirty work. Thomas What do you mean? Judas "Follow me." "Feed the poor." "Get off Magdalene's...
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Breaking News...

New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!

The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!
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