ORLANDO FL (ABSNN) -- Clem Feathersucker, formerly known to billions as Jesus Christ, finished his three-month long Professional Golfer Association Pre-tour School Saturday. He graduated fifth in his class of thirty new golf professionals.
Editor's Note: When I couldn't nail Jesus Christ down for an interview, I asked him to submit a guest column. On Monday, Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit against "Jesus Candidate", Rick Santorum, citing, "….fraudulent impersonation with intent to gain power over the feeble minded citizens of the Kingdom known as the United States of America…"
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