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Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story: Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest

Protesters disrupted the preparations for the Eurovision Song Contest earlier today when large groups of human rights campaigners demanded that Jedward be removed from the competition. Brothers John and Edward Grimes, known for their blonde quiffs...

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A day with Cliff and Jedward

One day, Jedward were strolling through their local city centre, heading off to KFC to suck on some citrus handwipes. They had spent the day in the local toilets and their mouths felt as crusty and salty as Dawn French's gusset after a long hot car journey. Coming in the opposite direction was none other than Cliff Richard, brother of Keith, resplendent on his roller blades, in a "GOD'S MY BE...

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The Krays to be remade by Jedward

Funny story: The Krays to be remade by Jedward

Irish novelty act Jedward, or 'those tedious twats' as they are better known in the music industry, are said to be delighted to have been given their first big break in film, playing the notorious East London gangsters the Krays for a movie to be sho...

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Irish traveller refuses to be evicted from Big Brother house.

Funny story: Irish traveller refuses to be evicted from Big Brother house.

Irish traveller Paddy Doherty will soon to be told he has "30 minutes to pack his bags and leave the Celebrity Big Brother house." But the star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding claims he has nowhere to go and has erected chicken wire around the program...

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Edward from Jedward to become a woman

Funny story: Edward from Jedward to become a woman

In a conversation inside the Big Brother house on Channel 5, Edward, from Jedward, has candidly admitted to the other house-mates that he wants to have a sex change. This was news to his brother. "Jedward are going to Thailand," said Edward, after...

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Edward from Jedward and The Secret Girlfriend

Funny story: Edward from Jedward and The Secret Girlfriend

Friends of Simon Cowell have tonight revealed that he has issued two newspapers with a super-injunction. The purpose of this super-injunction is very simple. Its to try to stop Edward from Jedward's secret girlfriend revealing all about their secre...

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Jedward awarded honorary music degree

Funny story: Jedward awarded honorary music degree

Eastbourne's University at the Municipal Swimming Pool has awarded dancing and singing whatevers (they do neither well) and walking toilet brushes Jedward with honorary degrees in music. 'This is just like, so awesome' said one of the Brothers. 'I...

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The Secret Sadness Behind Jedward's Great Eurovision Song Contest Success

Funny story: The Secret Sadness Behind Jedward's Great Eurovision Song Contest Success

Friends of Jedward have tonight revealed that the fantastic duo's fabulous Eurovision song contest success has been overshadowed by a secret family sadness that not even their publicity machine will talk about. This secret tragedy happened almo...

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Jedward Took Out Super Injuction against Simon Cowell in Run Up to Eurovision

Funny story: Jedward Took Out Super Injuction against Simon Cowell in Run Up to Eurovision

It has been revealed today that Jedward's lawyers took out a superinjunction again Simon Cowell in the run up to their fantastic Eurovision Performances. The Super injunction was necessary because Simon Cowell doesn't have a nice word to say abo...

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Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Funny story: Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Pertly perfect Pippa Middleton, who has turned a nostalgic nation's heads after her dashingly demure derriere was the star of the show at the recent Royal Wedding, is a real Eurovision fan, according to Lydia Fawne-Groveller, Editor of Society Journals Inbred and Chinless and Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lanter...

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Jedward Favourites to Win Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story: Jedward Favourites to Win Eurovision Song Contest

A leading betting shop has announced that Jedward are now the favourites to win the Eurovision Song contest. The shock announcement comes just one day after their fantastic appearance in the Euro Semi Finals. That appearance proved to the world...

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Jedward have at last proved that the Eurovision Song Contest is utter crap!

Funny story: Jedward have at last proved that the Eurovision Song Contest is utter crap!

Most people already know, apart from a 150 million brain-damaged European viewers, that the Eurovision song contest is utter crap, but now, once and for all, it has been proven, Jedward have qualified! The twins with more hair than talent decided...

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Jedward singing duo absolutely fuming

Funny story: Jedward singing duo absolutely fuming

Their singing abilities aside, Irish pop duo Jedward are fuming about how the entire lead-up to their Eurovision Song Contest entry has turned into a complete farce for them. Returning from a specialist clinic in Glasgow where they were having the...

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Sir Alan Signs Cereal Deal

Funny story: Sir Alan Signs Cereal Deal

Super Businessman and inventor of TV's 'The Apprentice' Sir Alan has teamed up with those loveable rascals Jedward to launch a new cereal to get Britain's kids eating healthily. Twins Noel and Keith Jedward were only too keen to make even more mon...

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Concern Rises As Police Hunt For Missing Jedward's Hair

Funny story: Concern Rises As Police Hunt For Missing Jedward's Hair

Concerns are escalating today as police step-up their nationwide search for Jedward's hair. The X-Factor losers were made famous for their out of tune singing and twee Irish accents back in 2009. The duo gained notoriety when conspiracy theorists...

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Jedward In Line for Award

Funny story: Jedward In Line for Award

They may have lost out on X Factor glory, but Jedward are in the running to receive one of the most prestigious entertainment honours. John and Edward Grimes, who appeared in the sixth series of the popular talent show, have been nominated for a M...

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ABC Announces Regis' Replacement: "Live With Jedward and Kelly" Premieres February 7th

Funny story: ABC Announces Regis' Replacement: "Live With Jedward and Kelly" Premieres February 7th

Floundering third-rate television network ABC --responsible for such news/talk sh-twads as Carol and Marilyn: Real Friends, The Dick Cavett Show, Mike and Maty, The Wayne Brady Show and Playboy After Dark Featuring Harry Reasoner-- has announced the...

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Jedwards to be rejoined in 12 hour operation

Funny story: Jedwards to be rejoined in 12 hour operation

A spokesperson for the world famous Jedward twins has told us that they will be undergoing the first ever conjoint twin re-attachment operation early next week in London's Mint Imperial University Hospital. The twins were originally conjoint but...

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