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Funny satire stories about Jamie Oliver

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Funny story: Turkey Twizzler hating chef now tackles Kiev problems

Turkey Twizzler hating chef now tackles Kiev problems

Jamey Olivier, the Nemesis of bad school dinners and the infamous Turkey Twizzlers has been asked by the new Kiev government to smarten up its defining dish, Chicken Kiev. "I'm a little busy at the moment, shovelling money into the bank but I know...
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Funny story: Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'. Manches...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver's recipes are less healthy than supermarket junk food!

Jamie Oliver's recipes are less healthy than supermarket junk food!

A survey has proven that beans on toast, pre-packed lasagne and supermarket ready meals in general are far healthier than Jamie Oliver's recipes in his best-seller cookbooks! The people who did the survey also went down to Joe's Trucker Cafe in Ba...
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Funny story: NASA reveals why Americans and Brits are obese

NASA reveals why Americans and Brits are obese

NASA's global gravity survey satellite launched last month has revealed why Americans and the British are classified as becoming more obese than other nations, while continents like Africa have more skinny people. "They have mapped in fine detail...
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Funny story: BNP marches in support of local Indian restaurants

BNP marches in support of local Indian restaurants

The British National Party has launched a Bring Back the Best of British food campaign as the party moves increasingly into wider areas of the political and social sphere. In initiative which hopes to play on voters fears about the uncertainty of cur...
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Funny story: David Beckham Steals Jamie Oliver's Job

David Beckham Steals Jamie Oliver's Job

David Beckham has stolen Jamie Oliver's supermarket job in a shock move by the former England Captain who is said to earn 30 million pounds a year. A spokesman for Jamie's next door neighbour said the theft will leave Jamie destitute, and his fami...
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Funny story: "Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

"Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

With our native stocks of cod, haddock and plaice in decline, celebrity chefs Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver (as part of Channel 4s Fish Fight series) have been encouraging us to eat a wider variety of fish. However, the latest addition...
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Funny story: Celebrity Chefs Carry Out Hostile Takeover of UK plc

Celebrity Chefs Carry Out Hostile Takeover of UK plc

In a move that seems to run counter to current developments in the Middle East, a group of celebrity chefs, that include: Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and Heston Blumenthal, have carried out a hostile military takeover of the Palace of Westminster.
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Faces Controversy Over Schools Educational Programme

Jamie Oliver Faces Controversy Over Schools Educational Programme

Jamie Oliver has faced criticism over a biology programme which he has made in which Sir Robert Winston asked two teenage boys to provide a sperm sample. All hell has broken out over this educational programme which is aimed at helping teenagers w...
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Funny story: Miracle Weight Loss Plant to be Unveiled by Jamie Oliver

Miracle Weight Loss Plant to be Unveiled by Jamie Oliver

A miracle weight loss plant is set to be unveiled today by healthy food Guru, Jamie Oliver. The product is so simple, and tastes so fantastic that people will wonder why they've never eaten before. This plant, however, isn't one that has just be...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver to release 30 second cook book

Jamie Oliver to release 30 second cook book

After the success of his 'Meals in 30 minutes' cookbook Jamie Oliver is to launch his new book which will show busy, working people how to get a meal on the table in 30 seconds. Section 1 involves practising ordering a pizza on the phone.."clear d...
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Funny story: Tramps scouring Exeter's rubbish mountains lambast Jamie Oliver

Tramps scouring Exeter's rubbish mountains lambast Jamie Oliver

Tramps scouring the many rubbish mountains that have formed across Exeter due to a lack council collections over the Christmas period have voiced outrage at the number of unwanted Jamie Oliver '30 minute cook books' being recovered. They say the p...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Wrecked my Entire Life

Jamie Oliver Wrecked my Entire Life

A horrified housewife has today revealed that Jamie Oliver wrecked her entire life. Due to an unfortunate chain of circumstances, all pertaining to Jamie's new Cook Book, she ended up with No Christmas dinner, No house, No cat, and a criminal record...
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Funny story: Following his success with The King's Speech Geoffrey Rush to literally teach Jamie Oliver to literally stop saying literally all the time

Following his success with The King's Speech Geoffrey Rush to literally teach Jamie Oliver to literally stop saying literally all the time

[LONDON, UK - LITERALLY:] OK, as far as celeb chefs go he's fair to middling bish-bosh. He's bold enough to substitute fat with exotic ethnic spices. And when he's not lisping and spitting into his chicken pates and terrines - he's actually quite...
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Funny story: Jamie & Nigella's Recipes for M.P.'s

Jamie & Nigella's Recipes for M.P.'s

Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson have been commissioned by Parliament to provide recipes to the Parliamentary Canteen. You can print these recipes yourself and prepare the meals so you can feel just like a Member of Parlament. Jamie's Turd in the Hole. Take a pickled turd from the cabinet and fry with a piece of bread with a hole in which to place the turd. After 5 minutes add a sprin...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Almost Cooks Baby

Jamie Oliver Almost Cooks Baby

A distaster was narrowly avoided at the Oliver household after chef, Jamie, almost cooked his newborn baby by mistake. "I thought he was a f***ing pizza!" Said Jamie Oliver, 35, he continued; "I've hardly got any sleep recently and I haven't been...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver's new series on African school dinners branded "distasteful"

Jamie Oliver's new series on African school dinners branded "distasteful"

Jamie Oliver's African School Dinners has been attacked as "distasteful" and "a step too far". The show, which sees the tireless campaigner and occasional chef investigating the state of nutrition in educational institutions throughout the contine...
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Funny story: Govt will get Jamie Oliver to leave Britain - with promise of fake TV show in America

Govt will get Jamie Oliver to leave Britain - with promise of fake TV show in America

Potty-mouthed TV chef Jamie Oliver is definitely leaving the country, it has been announced. Oliver, who spends most of his time criticising people for the food they eat, has been offered a "TV show" in America, it has been revealed. However, what he...
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