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Funny satire stories about Jacoby Ellsbury

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Ellsbury Sets Record: Never Injured in Month Ending in "R"

Red Sox speedster Jacoby Ellsbury stole five bases in a meaningless game in Philadelphia the night before an important series began with the Yankees. Having avoided the appearance of cracked glass over the season so far, Ellsbury now has develope...

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Red Sox Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock & J. Alfred Ellsbury

T.S. Eliot may have actually had the answer when it came to the conundrum known as Red Sox centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury. Let us go then when the evening game is spread out against the sky like a base stealer etherized in his slide to second base-...

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David Ortiz Called Footsie Version of Typhoid Mary by Podiatrists

BOSTON- Flat feet have become an epidemic in Boston. Top medical experts in Boston have discovered a link in the rash of foot injuries in the town's sports figures. For months the news has been disheartening. David Ortiz, DH and superstar of the R...

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Red Sox Next on List of Free Agent Turncoats, Just Ask Jacoby Ellsbury

BOSTON TURNSTILE-- Take a number, Jacoby Ellsbury. Next one in the bakery line to leave Boston is the Red Sox representative. In the matter of a year or so, New England sports fans have been shot full of more holes than the proverbial donut at the...

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The Mystery of Jacoby Ellsbury, Drood

Like an unfinished Charles Dickens novel, the life of the Red Sox centerfielder has taken on caricature and hyperbole during the 2012 season. With a few games left in the season, Ellsbury was yanked from the lineup for several games. No one was ta...

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A Day Off is No Day at the Beach for Jacoby Ellsbury

Red Sox star Jacoby Ellsbury was not in the lineup on Saturday night. No, he was not ill with Saturday Night Fever, out dancing and cavorting in celebration of his return from a nearly season long stint on the Disabled List. He enjoyed somethin...

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Annual Garbo Award Nominees for Boston Athlete of Year

Yes, Boston sports fans, it's that time again: "The Annual Garbo Awards!" Each year we hold a competition to determine which Boston athlete most honored the legend and reputation of film star Greta Garbo, arguably one of the all-time great actress...

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Avery Bradley and Jacoby Ellsbury Shoulder the Load

Boston media are starting to draw a parallel between Avery Bradley of the Celtics and Jacoby Ellsbury of the Red Sox. As we know, both men suffered rather painful shoulder dislocation this season. For Bradley it happens every other game, keeping h...

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J.M. Ellsbury Wilts As J.R. Ewing Returns

Not since The Glass Menagerie has there been such a fragile unicorn as Jacoby Ellsbury. When Amanda's Gentleman Caller dropped the play's centerpiece glass ornament, it was curtains for the character. Jacoby Ellsbury, the sensational centerpie...

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