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Funny satire stories about Jackpot

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New strapline for UK Lottery unveiled

Funny story: New strapline for UK Lottery unveiled

Camelnot, the bankers for the UK National lottery have today announced a new strapline prior to increasing the number of balls from 49 to 59 in each draw. Their existing strapline, "Play makes it possible", is being changed, based on the new lower...

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Hole-in-the-Wall Street bankers scoop $254million Powerball jackpot

Funny story: Hole-in-the-Wall Street bankers scoop $254million Powerball jackpot

New York - "They're gonna use the winnings to short the Euro, heheh!" was one take on what three Greenwich, Connecticut hedge fund managers might do with their stonking $254million Powerball win. The winning numbers - 12/14/34/39/46 + the Powerbal...

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Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Funny story: Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Glasgow - A pair of middle-aged chinless blobs from Lard - er...Largs! - in Ayrshire won the record breaking jackpot after a seven week-long rollover. Chris and Colin Weird (sic) said today they would be investing some of the dosh in gastric band...

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Mega Millions Madness

Funny story: Mega Millions Madness

YOURLANDIS, MYLANTA, JOEGA (RUTRZ) The Mega Millions Jackpot now stands at a astounding $420 Million for Tuesday nights drawing. This is after nobody matched all five numbers plus the mega ball since...

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Mega Millions $275 Million Jackpot Winner Killed

Funny story: Mega Millions $275 Million Jackpot Winner Killed

MYLANTA, GEOGIA--(BSNewswire)--Luck ran out for the winner of Friday nights Mega Millions Jackpot winner, Peter Patootie. Within an hour of the good news, Mr. Patootie was involved in a fatal traffic accident caused...

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Lucky Doreen Scoops A Fortune!

Funny story: Lucky Doreen Scoops A Fortune!

A woman form Manchester could hardly believe her luck today when she scooped a sizeable sum of money by just going to the cashpoint.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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