Once upon a fucking time, there was this single mother who lived in an house with her little bastard of a son named Jack. All they had was a cow that did fuck all.
So, the mother said she would sell the lazy cunt and sent Jack to Southall market to get rid of it.
On the way, Jack met a wanker who tried to buy the cow for a couple of beans, so what does Jack fuckin do? Sells the cow like the...
Jack Smith, 860, died last night in a terrifying fall from his beanstalk.
The hero of the children's story had lived alone there ever since killing the Giant.
The adventurer rose to fame when he misguidedly swapped a cow for magic beans. His fu...
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An original metaphor:
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