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Funny satire stories about JP Morgan

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Funny story: JP Morgan begging

JP Morgan begging

NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown. CEO, JD, stated that the rea...
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Funny story: Tony 'London Whale' Blair blamed for JP Morgan $2bn trading losses

Tony 'London Whale' Blair blamed for JP Morgan $2bn trading losses

London - The daft old tosspot is the US bank's top gambling tipster advising on a range of international whorseracing punts. This weekend he's being fingered by his rum 'Captain' Morgan bosses for the biggest trading losses in the bank's entire hy...
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Funny story: Bank of America and Chase Bank Offset the Costs of Charging You Fees by Adding a Fee Surcharge

Bank of America and Chase Bank Offset the Costs of Charging You Fees by Adding a Fee Surcharge

Corporate money-sequestration titans Bank of America and Chase Bank today announced that their recently announced new fees and the hikes of existing fees will actually cost more money to introduce, charge and enforce than expected, leaving net profit...
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Funny story: A-Rod Gone!

A-Rod Gone!

In a deal completed late today, JP Morgan announced it has traded Bear Stearns, the investment banking switch hitter, recently named in the Wall Street mortgage steroid scandal, to the New York Yankees for Alex Rodriquez who unlike several Bear Ste...
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Funny story: JP Morgan admit to error

JP Morgan admit to error

In an startling news JP Morgan admits, due to a typing error, they have actually purchased the British survival expert Bear Grylls.
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Funny story: Blair's new paymasters 'at the feeding trough of every global economy sleaze pit'

Blair's new paymasters 'at the feeding trough of every global economy sleaze pit'

Off the Wall Street - (Sleaze Mess): "At last I have found my true spiritual home," ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair said today referring to his hiring as a $20,000 per-week slush-fund adviser to top US sleazebroker JP Morgan.
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