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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

The Greek government is refusing to comment on reports that it has bought "The Needles", a major tourist attraction with its own Chili Dog stall and cable car system. The attraction, stolen last week from the Isle of Wight, turned up at a famous...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

A plea has gone out from the Isle Of Wight Tourist Office, warning people not to take unofficial souvenirs home following the loss of a major tourist attraction. The remains of "The Needles" were smuggled out in a white van sometime yesterday accordi...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

A pill which cures prisoners of the urge to commit crimes is to be given to all inmates of H.M.P Isle of Wight. The pill's effects, which although it has to be administered daily, mean that all prisoners will remain completely law abiding as long as...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear

Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear

The controversial International Pavement Car Race is to be held on the Isle of Wight in February, despite fears of injuries and deaths as the racers hurtle around public pavements. The event could potentially become the most prestigious pavement vehi...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

The Isle of Wight has fallen foul of E.U. regulations by being above the mandatory 65 mile maximum length for a British Isle. The Isle, famous for its Rock Festivals and sequence dancing has steadfastly refused to lop 2 miles from its length, even th...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

A recent geological survey of the Isle of Wight has come to the worrying conclusion that the island is shrinking at a rate of two millimetres per year. The first survey on the actual size of the island in 1952 revealed it to have an area of 380.56...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery

Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery

Ventnor, the island's southern most city, is set to become the new hotbed of plastic surgery in the UK, supplanting Harley Street as the top destination. "We can expect a a sudden influx of celebrities coming for their face jobs and wrinkle reduct...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - House thieves target the island

Isle of Wight News - House thieves target the island

Newport police are asking residents of the whole Isle of Wight to be vigilant until they capture some rogue house thieves targeting the island. "There has been a sudden spate of house thefts recently," said Detective inspector Jenn Darme, who has...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Cowes Kangaroo Farm to close

Isle of Wight News - Cowes Kangaroo Farm to close

Kangaroo Farm in Cowes, affectionately known as KFC, the island's only farm of kangaroos is to close it's gates at the end of the month for the last time after complaints from local residents forced the council into action. "We've been keeping kan...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Residents of Newport are facing a bleak few days as the Newport Union of Dog Exercisers have unanimously agreed to go strike. "Industrial action is the only recourse for our members," said Jack Russell, head of NUDE. "In real terms, the amount we...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Park and Ryde Program Cancelled

Isle of Wight News - Park and Ryde Program Cancelled

The innovative Park and Ryde Program has been cancelled. While introduced to great fanfare as a sustainable initiative to reduce traffic, the program has been plagued with confusion and inefficiencies from the start. Residents seemed more than wil...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

In a bold move, the Isle of Wight councillor, David Pugh, has elected to spend his twenty-million pound lottery win on putting every dog on the island onto a doggy DNA database. "I was going to buy a bigger house," he said. "However, I already hav...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Hostage situation in Newport

Isle of Wight News - Hostage situation in Newport

There was high drama in the Island's largest city today as seven armed hostages took over Newport's tallest building, the five story Debenhams Department Store. They stormed the building just before opening time and herded the thirty staff up to t...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Ryde Pier is still green after St Patrick's Day

Isle of Wight News - Ryde Pier is still green after St Patrick's Day

On March 17th, Ryde Council painted Ryde pier bright green to celebrate St Patrick's day. "Sadly," said Pat Saint, councillor for Ryde and District, "Patrick's day fell on a Sunday this year, and the council painters refused to work on a Sunday. W...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

The controversial new sculpture erected at the end of Ryde pier has come under even more fire from an unexpected source, the children's television programme Bill and Ben. "When we had that charity appeal in 1986 for people to send in spare flower...
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