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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - House thieves target the island

Isle of Wight News - House thieves target the island

Newport police are asking residents of the whole Isle of Wight to be vigilant until they capture some rogue house thieves targeting the island. "There has been a sudden spate of house thefts recently," said Detective inspector Jenn Darme, who has...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Cowes Kangaroo Farm to close

Isle of Wight News - Cowes Kangaroo Farm to close

Kangaroo Farm in Cowes, affectionately known as KFC, the island's only farm of kangaroos is to close it's gates at the end of the month for the last time after complaints from local residents forced the council into action. "We've been keeping kan...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Residents of Newport are facing a bleak few days as the Newport Union of Dog Exercisers have unanimously agreed to go strike. "Industrial action is the only recourse for our members," said Jack Russell, head of NUDE. "In real terms, the amount we...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Park and Ryde Program Cancelled

Isle of Wight News - Park and Ryde Program Cancelled

The innovative Park and Ryde Program has been cancelled. While introduced to great fanfare as a sustainable initiative to reduce traffic, the program has been plagued with confusion and inefficiencies from the start. Residents seemed more than wil...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

In a bold move, the Isle of Wight councillor, David Pugh, has elected to spend his twenty-million pound lottery win on putting every dog on the island onto a doggy DNA database. "I was going to buy a bigger house," he said. "However, I already hav...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Hostage situation in Newport

Isle of Wight News - Hostage situation in Newport

There was high drama in the Island's largest city today as seven armed hostages took over Newport's tallest building, the five story Debenhams Department Store. They stormed the building just before opening time and herded the thirty staff up to t...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Ryde Pier is still green after St Patrick's Day

Isle of Wight News - Ryde Pier is still green after St Patrick's Day

On March 17th, Ryde Council painted Ryde pier bright green to celebrate St Patrick's day. "Sadly," said Pat Saint, councillor for Ryde and District, "Patrick's day fell on a Sunday this year, and the council painters refused to work on a Sunday. W...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

The controversial new sculpture erected at the end of Ryde pier has come under even more fire from an unexpected source, the children's television programme Bill and Ben. "When we had that charity appeal in 1986 for people to send in spare flower...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - I'm a Celebrity get me out of Ventnor

Isle of Wight News - I'm a Celebrity get me out of Ventnor

Ventnor Zoo my be home to the ferocious fennec fox and the terrifying terrapin twins, but the Australian jungle it is not. Not yet anyway. Producers of the surprisingly popular televisual reality show I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here are facing bud...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Argentinian Pope gives the island to the Argentines

Isle of Wight News - Argentinian Pope gives the island to the Argentines

In a move that is is sure to anger somebody, the new Pope, Pope Francis the something or other, has been approached by the Argentinian government who have requested that the Falkland islands are given to Argentina. Sadly, Frank's knowledge of geog...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Cloud startles Ventnor Residents

Isle of Wight News - Cloud startles Ventnor Residents

Residents of Ventnor were alarmed this week as a cloud approached the island from the English channel. "Normally," said Tom O'Row, a teenager who has lived in Ventnor all of his eleven years of life, "we either have wall to wall blue sky, or floor...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Mayor Baffled by Decision

Isle of Wight News - Mayor Baffled by Decision

A TOWN mayor has said he is baffled by an Isle of Wight Council decision. The Isle of Wight Council, which made the decision is sticking by the decision despite opposition from the Mayor. Council spokeman Gordon Gillies says "It is the right of...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - A3054 to have the potholes filled

Isle of Wight News - A3054 to have the potholes filled

The Isle of Wight Council have announced plans to finally solve the problems with the A3054 Queens Road between Ryde and Newport. "Since the bad winter of 1963," said Councillor David Pugh, "we've suffered with pot holes on this busy main road. We...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - The island voted Top TV Destination

Isle of Wight News - The island voted Top TV Destination

The Isle of Wight has been identified as the place in the UK with more transvestites than any other, with Ryde being the town with more cross dressers than any other town in the UK. "It's been estimated," said councillor, David Pugh, in a lovely p...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen

Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen

Kenneth Dunston has been left distraught following the theft of his scab collection. Dunstan, 52 from Ryde on the Isle of Wight, discovered the theft on Sunday morning when he returned from the Ryde twenty-four hour bowls marathon. "It's terri...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Garlic Festival's latest event

Isle of Wight News - Garlic Festival's latest event

The world famous Isle of Wight Garlic Festival is looking for the country's Garlicks to come forward and be recognised. "We've been running the Garlic Festival for something like fifteen hundred years," said event organiser, Carl Garlick. "We felt...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Ring of Fire scares off terns

Isle of Wight News - Ring of Fire scares off terns

Environmentalists have slammed the Island's decision to have a ring of fire around the island to celebrate the Queen's Jubilee. Fifteen hundred beacons were set up at quarter mile intervals around the island, and were all lit on Bank Holiday Mond...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Tsunami threatens island

Isle of Wight News - Tsunami threatens island

A tsunami alert for the Isle of Wight has been issued by the UK Met Office after a landslip in Cuba has sent a wave travelling in our direction. "The tsunami is currently three centimetres high," said Met Office spokesman, Matt Welcomme. "It was c...
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