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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Winter has just ended and summer festivals are just around the corner. Soon the island will be blessed with many fun filled weekends providing enjoyment for both residents and tourists alike. It seems like every town and village has their own fest...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight to become a tourist attraction

Isle of Wight to become a tourist attraction

The Isle of Wight is to become a tourist attraction. A fact finding team has returned from America with the intention of opening Alcatrazworld on the Island, potentially attracting millions of ghouls wishing to see electric chairs and death row c...
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Funny story: £500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

£500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

The long awaited Isle of Wight Glasgowland theme park has opened with an explosion of swearing, drunken razor fights and face "glassing". A true Friday night Glasgow experience can now be had any night of the week without leaving the geriatri...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Going Chinese

Isle of Wight Going Chinese

In a dramatic move to gain the approval of the Chinese Government, David Cameron is offering the Isle of Wight at 'a knock down price' to China. We understand that several million pounds are being diverted to the Conservative Election Campaign fun...
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Funny story: Spanish Boss Rahoy lays claim to the Isle of Wight

Spanish Boss Rahoy lays claim to the Isle of Wight

The prime minister's recently ordered concrete block artificial reef barrier on a stretch of the Isle of Wight coast has infuriated Spanish dictator Supermario Rahoy. "This is an exclusive Spanish fishing ground for a proud Spanish native who liv...
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Funny story: North Korea attack Isle of Wight

North Korea attack Isle of Wight

North Korea refused to apologise last night after launching a missile attack on the Isle of Wight. Major Jim Bung Fong stated: "It were acrident, creaner press wong button". Residents on the small British island were shaken but not stirred duri...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight dog poo register mooted

Isle of Wight dog poo register mooted

Cowes - A CSI Miami-style forensic lab database to identify badass pooches dumping on Isle of Wight streets proposes to tackle the dog mess problem. Its findings would be posted on the island's Faecesbook account in a name 'n' shame exercise to ou...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight residents are reminded to move their calendars forward tonight to 2013. Despite the annual spring reminder and widespread use of the Internet there are many hold outs to sharing the 2013 calendar across the island with many communities...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight to Standardize Population Signage

Isle of Wight to Standardize Population Signage

The Isle of Wight will be rolling out new signage next year for the outskirts of all cities, towns and villages announcing the name of the community and population. All communities going forward will have a standardized format sign with the same font...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Renamed

Isle of Wight Renamed

The Queen has graciously accepted the invitation of the Chairman of the Isle of Wight Tourist Board to rename the island as the Isle of Plight. Another suggestion of the Isle of Flight got stuck somewhere near Cows so could not be used. Unfortunat...
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Funny story: England Have 0.000765% Chance Of Winning Euro 2012 Says Dorking Academic

England Have 0.000765% Chance Of Winning Euro 2012 Says Dorking Academic

The England football team's chances of winning the Euro 2012 tournament have been rated as 0.000756% by a leading Dorking Professor, writes Sport, Fishing, Linoleum, Commercial Grass Cultivation, Wheelbarrow Design, Spats, Mathematics & Entertain...
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Funny story: Who stole the Isle of Wight? Part the first

Who stole the Isle of Wight? Part the first

Mr Gongle stood at the window of his bungalow and raised the telescope to his eye. "Fuck me Maude!" He cried, "Some bastards nicked the Solent!" "What you going on about Eric" Said his wife, as she placed the breakfast tray on the table. "The fuckin Solent has been stolen some bastard has had it away with the whole lot!" "Whatever gives you that idea Eric, you been drinking the Cuban b...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Independence Referendum

Isle of Wight Independence Referendum

The First Minister of the Isle of Wight National Party has called for a vote on Independence of the island from the rest of Britain. Ministers in London were concerned that the example might be followed by others with the Isle of Man restless for cha...
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Funny story: The British hand over the Isle of Wight to Argentina

The British hand over the Isle of Wight to Argentina

The Isle of Wight is to be handed over to Argentina in the New Year. Britain and South American countries including Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay, came to the decision at a secret summit in the Uruguayan capital, Montevideo last night. T...
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Funny story: Government bring in tax on Gay Men

Government bring in tax on Gay Men

Chancellor George Osboring has put forward plans to tax Gay men. His new stealth tax will be brought into force in the next tax year without a commons vote. Mr Osboring said; "Gay men spend far to much money on curtains cushions rugs piercings and...
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Funny story: Provincial Peoples Magazine. Isle of Wight Edition

Provincial Peoples Magazine. Isle of Wight Edition

Hello! And welcome to the second edition of the magazine that lets you know what other stuck up snooty curtain twitchers are doing around the country. Hope you enjoy! Mrs Scrongle-Fettlebum from the suburbs of Ventnor, held her annual Nose Bleeders party this week. Many people turned up and it was a great success. The blood will be donated to the local hospice. Tea and Scones were served.
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Flying Teacups Over Solent

Isle of Wight News - Flying Teacups Over Solent

Residents of Newtown were treated to an unusual spectacle over the weekend as a series of unidentified flying objects were seen hovering over The Solent. Longtime resident Emma Sandstrom, eighty-three of Dovercourt Crescent, says this was no ordin...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight crude tanker tragedy

Isle of Wight crude tanker tragedy

Cowes - It's been billed as the Island's environmental catastrophe of the century and has blighted the start of world famous Cowes Regatta Week. Reports this evening have confirmed the collision between an ocean going yacht, Atlanta of Chester, an...
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Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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