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Funny story: Isle of Wight residents rejoice at opening of Food Bank on island

Isle of Wight residents rejoice at opening of Food Bank on island

Residents of Shanklin, on the Isle of Wight, were in high spirits yesterday after receiving the announcement that the town was to be the location of the island's first official Food Bank. 'It's absolutely marvellous', gushed Betty Bigglesthwaite,7...
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Funny story: Thailand sues Isle of Wight twins

Thailand sues Isle of Wight twins

Conjoined twins Doris (aged 86) and Betty (aged 86) Peaswhistle were left devastated yesterday when they received a note of formal litigation from the Embassy of Thailand in London. The litigation appears to refer to a book that Doris and Betty ha...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

A plea has gone out from the Isle Of Wight Tourist Office, warning people not to take unofficial souvenirs home following the loss of a major tourist attraction. The remains of "The Needles" were smuggled out in a white van sometime yesterday accordi...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Rise of Radicalism in EU reflected in Island Life

Isle Of Wight News - Rise of Radicalism in EU reflected in Island Life

Residents of Jurnsey Nursing Homes are eschewing Tombola and Bingo Nights, in favour of more radical pursuits. 'We may be old, but we're hungry for the bold and ground - breaking', says Reenie Pankhurst,100, today. Reenie has been the Entertain...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News

Isle of Wight News

4 REASONS WHY ISLAND LIFE IS BETTER THAN MAINLAND: 1: Islands tend to be windswept, with supplies often being cut - off, this affords oblivion to Modern Reality. 2: Some islands, Alderney, Guernsey and others, prohibit cars. This is not only good for the environment, it dissuades any one relatively young , from invading the place. 3: Many islands' waters are choppy and inhospitable, suc...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Cargo Ship Carrying News Runs Aground

Isle of Wight News - Cargo Ship Carrying News Runs Aground

A cargo ship carrying news of the outside world for the last six months was deliberately grounded off the Isle of Wight Saturday evening after it began to list. Captain Sigge Olafson of the Hoege Osaka said he ordered crew members to jettison new...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight Factoids - 10 Things You Didn't Know

Isle Of Wight Factoids - 10 Things You Didn't Know

1) The Isle of Wight contains less prisoners per head of the population than Alcatraz or San Quentin. 2) Despite over one hundred movies about daring escapes from The Isle of Wight, only one person, Harry Houdiney is known to have successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale in 1955. 3) How big was the average b and b room in 1943? Each single room was 5 feet by 9 feet. Double rooms ha...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
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Funny story: G.P.S Sends Tourists To Isle Of Wight Prison

G.P.S Sends Tourists To Isle Of Wight Prison

Tea, coffee and sandwich sales have rocketed at H.M.P. Isle of Wight Visitor Centre due to a G.P.S. mix up. A recent initiative by the Isle of Wight Tourist Institute, hoping to sell the Island as a holiday destination and not just an amalgamati...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Winter has just ended and summer festivals are just around the corner. Soon the island will be blessed with many fun filled weekends providing enjoyment for both residents and tourists alike. It seems like every town and village has their own fest...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight to become a tourist attraction

Isle of Wight to become a tourist attraction

The Isle of Wight is to become a tourist attraction. A fact finding team has returned from America with the intention of opening Alcatrazworld on the Island, potentially attracting millions of ghouls wishing to see electric chairs and death row c...
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Funny story: £500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

£500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

The long awaited Isle of Wight Glasgowland theme park has opened with an explosion of swearing, drunken razor fights and face "glassing". A true Friday night Glasgow experience can now be had any night of the week without leaving the geriatri...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Going Chinese

Isle of Wight Going Chinese

In a dramatic move to gain the approval of the Chinese Government, David Cameron is offering the Isle of Wight at 'a knock down price' to China. We understand that several million pounds are being diverted to the Conservative Election Campaign fun...
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Funny story: Spanish Boss Rahoy lays claim to the Isle of Wight

Spanish Boss Rahoy lays claim to the Isle of Wight

The prime minister's recently ordered concrete block artificial reef barrier on a stretch of the Isle of Wight coast has infuriated Spanish dictator Supermario Rahoy. "This is an exclusive Spanish fishing ground for a proud Spanish native who liv...
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Funny story: North Korea attack Isle of Wight

North Korea attack Isle of Wight

North Korea refused to apologise last night after launching a missile attack on the Isle of Wight. Major Jim Bung Fong stated: "It were acrident, creaner press wong button". Residents on the small British island were shaken but not stirred duri...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight dog poo register mooted

Isle of Wight dog poo register mooted

Cowes - A CSI Miami-style forensic lab database to identify badass pooches dumping on Isle of Wight streets proposes to tackle the dog mess problem. Its findings would be posted on the island's Faecesbook account in a name 'n' shame exercise to ou...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013

Isle of Wight residents are reminded to move their calendars forward tonight to 2013. Despite the annual spring reminder and widespread use of the Internet there are many hold outs to sharing the 2013 calendar across the island with many communities...
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Breaking News...

John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!

John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!
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