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Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Funny story: Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Dayton OH: Margaret Lypchits just hasn't been the same since her 58th birthday resolution to do a "life make-over". She explains; "I'd been divorced for 8 years. My maiden name is Lypchits which I legally changed it back to around a year ago. My husband left me for a younger thinner woman- just like you'd go do a trade in for a new car. I decided that before 60 I wanted to loose the 130lbs I've be...

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10 Worst Things About Being Irish

Funny story: 10 Worst Things About Being Irish

(1) Claiming that you are "irish". Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking they are Irish. An 'Irish' beard has never been shaved by an 'Irish' razor. (2). Seeking recognition for doing something exceptional. Taboo is that. That is why the Irish are hopeless at anything competitive. "Who da fuck duz he tink he is?" is an effective deterrent against the very thought of trying to win at ANYTHING.

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An Irishman Foresees his Birth

Funny story: An Irishman Foresees his Birth

Paddy O'Shea Remembers Being Born. Paddy O'Shea of no fixed address London decided to seek help for his alcohol addiction. He was referred to the Tony Blair Asylum for the Insanely Deluded where he underwent hypnotherapy in the course of which he was regressed to infancy and beyond. Paddy, to psychiatrist Dr. Theo Leonard's amazement was able to recount in vivid detail his life in the womb and...

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Cabinet maker becomes first openly Irish government figure

Funny story: Cabinet maker becomes first openly Irish government figure

Shergar, County Louse - A semi-skilled cabinet maker in Ireland has come out in pubic as the first openly Irish government minister in the hystery of the traditionally conservative Catholic country. The annoucement this weekend by carpentry minist...

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PSNI/Gardai Smash Radiostar Country Barbiturates Ring

The Irish and British have been at each other's throats for centuries, in a way that makes the rap grudge between Kanye West and LL Cool J look like as pointless and infantile as a mere peevish World of Warcraft endless circle-jerk of meaningless con...

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Irish Winter Olympic details confirmed

Funny story: Irish Winter Olympic details confirmed

At a press conference held in the Ballysmackadoo Town Hall, the Minister for Sport, Paddy Fields, together with a celebrity panel line up of Bono, Chris de Burgh, Van Morrison and the late President De Valera announced the venues and sport competitio...

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Cardinal Baloney Invites AZ Legislators To St. Paddy's Parade

Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Invites AZ Legislators To St. Paddy's Parade

Cardinal Baloney of New York has invited Arizona lawmakers who passed a gay bashing bill to march in the upcoming St. Patrick's Day parade. The march along the city's Fifth Avenue is the largest parade in the Western world. The invited lawmakers...

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Leprechauns Enveloped in Fog in Pacific Redwood Forest

Funny story: Leprechauns Enveloped in Fog in Pacific Redwood Forest

WILLITS, CALIFORNIA - Park ranger, Gustav Gustafson, Redwood National and State Parks (RNSP) spokesman, was sporting a bandage around his head at a press conference early this morning. "Thankfully, the Redwoods are currently enveloped in a quiet f...

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Leprechauns not taken seriously says O' Driscoll

Funny story: Leprechauns not taken seriously says O' Driscoll

A group of 1000 leprechauns will boycott the Six Nations Ireland/England rugby match on Saturday. The leprechauns who have to be painted green to remain visible, are said to be sick and tired of "fairy taleist" abuse from crowds at home and away spor...

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Famous Irish-Americans

Funny story: Famous Irish-Americans

Here are some names revered in our history: 1. Paddy O'Connell, First man to drink green beer before New York City's St. Patrick's Day parade in 1921. 2. President John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Ted Kennedy and George Kennedy who absolutely "made" "Cool Hand Luke". 3. Mrs. O'Leary, Destroyer of Chicago. 4. That funny drunk guy, what's his name? At U. of Wisconsin, Madison. 5. Famo...

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Irish Once Again on Hotseat as Source of World's Verbal Troubles

Funny story: Irish Once Again on Hotseat as Source of World's Verbal Troubles

BLARNEY, IRELAND - Irish officials have decided to close the popular tourist attraction, The Blarney Castle, amidst a world-wide outpouring of ridiculous verbiage from prominent politicians. "Most of the blather is emanating from the White House, spe...

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Gold whored in Tipperary pub

Funny story: Gold whored in Tipperary pub

Tipperary, Eire - Workmen dismantling burnt remains of the Rainbow's End pub in Carrick-on-Suir, South Tipperary have stumbled on a stash of gold coins stuffed down the back of a Leprechaun's sofa deep beneath the building's medieval foundations.

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Growing economic hard times have Irish little people community scared for their lives, gold

Many members of Ireland's little people community are scared tonight. There has been a dramatic and sudden rise of kidnapping amongst the little people community in Ireland during these economic hard times. Moody's Investors Service on Tuesday dow...

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Irish Waffle Could Keep British Lights On

The Irish gift for blarney, blather and waffle could soon begin cutting the UK consumer energy bill by £10 Billion over the next eight years. "The average Irishman generates more hot air in a single day than any other nationality" says Dr Hugh Q...

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Irish Move To Vote In All Elections Everywhere

Funny story: Irish Move To Vote In All Elections Everywhere

The Irish Government is considering extending the right to vote in presidential elections to Irish citizens living abroad. Speaking on television last week, Tánaiste Eamon Gilmore revealed that the matter was under consideration because there were...

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St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

Funny story: St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

In what Irish-Americans are touting as a modern-day St. Patrick's Day miracle, Lower East Side New Yorker Mary McGarry discovered that there was even more beer in her home the morning AFTER her rollicking St. Paddy's Day party than there had been bef...

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Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

Funny story: Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

BOSTON-While hoards of inebriated partygoers celebrated the inconsequentially misunderstood holiday of St. Patrick's Day behind him, Boston native and resident sour puss Jerry Doogan, slowly sipped his pint of Guinness at the bar of the Squealing...

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Irish Post Nipple Count Set To Rise Under New Editor

UK Irish newspaper the Irish Post is set for a startling overhaul following the appointment of a new editor. Murray Morse is the new man at the helm of the popular weekly, which provides news from home and abroad for the Irish community in the UK.

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Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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