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Funny satire stories about Interest Rates

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Funny story: The Unforgiving Usurer

The Unforgiving Usurer

Based on the continued likelihood of QE3, the following is a satire based on Matthew 18:23-23 Once upon a time, a certain king in a land of ease wished to settle accounts. Usurers who owed billions were brought to him. The Usurers had bribed the gullible into burdensome loans they knew the debtors could not repay. Floundering beneath the loans, the debtors scoured nickels and dimes to pay wha...
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Funny story: Interest rates to be random

Interest rates to be random

The Bank of England today revealed it would cease setting interest rates - with the cost of borrowing set at random. Mervyn King, Bank of England top dog, told reporters outside his West London mansion: "In the current economic environment, if int...
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Funny story: Bank of England Cuts Interest Rate by 0.00% to Help Boost Economy

Bank of England Cuts Interest Rate by 0.00% to Help Boost Economy

The Bank of England has cut interest rates once again to help to encourage the economy to recover. The cut of 0.00% is seen as a way of cutting the base rate without it going down to zero and punishing lenders. All previous cuts to the interest r...
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Funny story: Bank of England sells interest rate TV rights for £3m

Bank of England sells interest rate TV rights for £3m

The Bank of England has signed a £3 million TV deal for exclusive rights for its monetary policy committee (MPC) interest rate decisions. A revamp of the monthly rate decision will see announcements switched from the first Thursday of the month to...
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Funny story: New Negative Interest Rate Shock

New Negative Interest Rate Shock

The Bank of England has again cut interest rates to a new record figure. At minus 1.5%, it means that money will, for the first time in banking history, be deducted from savings and investment accounts. Although savers will be adversely affected, t...
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Funny story: Chancellor predicts negative interest rate in the New Year

Chancellor predicts negative interest rate in the New Year

In a continued effort to stimulate the economy, the Chancer of the Exchequer has revealed that interest rates will more than likely become negative in the New Year. Speaking at the Annual Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club AGM, held in a Nissan hut a...
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Funny story: Interest Rates cut

Interest Rates cut

In an effort to speed up progress through the looming recession, the Bank of England are set to cut 2% off the base interest rate. Since lending began, the largest ever drop was 1.1% back in 3187 (on the Hebrew Calendar), and this cut dwarfs that.
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Funny story: Dramatic Rise In Interest Rates Baffles Investors

Dramatic Rise In Interest Rates Baffles Investors

A dramatic rise in interest rates has baffled many in the financial markets including the Bank of England and The Federal Reserve. One expert told me "People's interest rates are rising - I mean a lot more people are interested in things than they...
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Funny story: US Fed Slashes Public Interest

US Fed Slashes Public Interest

In an attempt to restore confidence is the US's ailing economy, the Federal Reserve slashed public interest today by reducing the value of everyone's money. And for those Americans who are in debt, the value of the amount of money they owe wi...
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Funny story: Student Loans: Interest Goes Sky High Say Tories

Student Loans: Interest Goes Sky High Say Tories

Tory leader David Cameron shocked viewers at the Conservative Constitution this morning after unveiling their new plans for student loans.
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Funny story: Interest Rates Cut But Who Put Them Up in the First Place?

Interest Rates Cut But Who Put Them Up in the First Place?

The brave captain of the Bank of England has grabbed the controls back from a bad person who was steering it towards the rocks while he made a cup of tea.
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Funny story: House Prices to Rise 52% say Experts

House Prices to Rise 52% say Experts

Experts for house builders Bellend Homes have contradicted figures from the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors, stating that they expect house prices to rise at least 52% over the next two years across Britain - except for ev...
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Funny story: Bank of England Really Really Know What They're Doing Really

Bank of England Really Really Know What They're Doing Really

LONDON (SFA) - The Bank of England held its key interest rate at 25.25 percent for the second month in a row on Thursday, sticking to its we-don't-know-what-the-hell-to-do approach after British annual inflation slumped in February. The widely ex...
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Funny story: Barrymore 'Bank of England' Panto Closes After One Second

Barrymore 'Bank of England' Panto Closes After One Second

The feeble pantomime, Bank of England and the Jolly Interest Rate, written by, produced and starring, discredited Michael Barrymore, has closed after playing for only one second in a motorway service...
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Funny story: Mob Bank Chief Raises Loan Sharking Rates to 35.5%

Mob Bank Chief Raises Loan Sharking Rates to 35.5%

Jersey City, NJ -- After two full days of meetings with representatives from the five major crime families, Central Mob Bank Chief Al Giorbilini has decided to raise interest rates on all loans by 5000 basis points to 35.5%.
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