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Westboro Ass-TitsThe infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
Hair to Trump - "You're Fired!"After deep reflection, Donald Trump's hair has decided to part ways with the candidate most commonly known for his inappropriate comments on immigrants. According to records, his hair is Latino.
John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!
Grumpy TrumpyGrumpy Trumpy made quite a squall,
Grumpy Trumpy had a great fall.
All of Ailes' minions and all of Ailes' pundits
Couldn't put his Party together again.
Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack AttackA motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
Snippets on Sale AgainOkay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!
Chris Christi Licks SicknessAs a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease
Self Righteous Wing ExtremismFrom the summit of Mt. Appalachia with arms raised skyward in a flagrant display of pompous pride and pretentiousness, self-ordained Pope Rick Santorum decreed that he and only he is holier than thou.
US Victim of OPEC CoupIn a sneakily sinister scheme the Oil Pumping Evil Countries (OPEC) dropped the price of crude oil to two cents per barrel, then conquered the US when consumers choked to death from car exhaust fumes.
Mike Huckabee Sees GodGOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (Huckleberry Finn's illegitimate great grandson), claimed to be god almighty, swearing, "May god strike me dead if I'm lying". He hasn't been seen ever since.
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