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Island in Pacific Celebrates Independence Day

Funny story: Island in Pacific Celebrates Independence Day

The residents of an island in the Pacific secretly celebrated American style Independence Day this July 4th. The celebration included town sponsored fireworks displays and family outings. Many residents ate hamburgers and hot dogs. Residents had...

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Parrot Beheading Mars July 4 Celebrations, Police Suspect Foul Play

Funny story: Parrot Beheading Mars July 4 Celebrations, Police Suspect Foul Play

Baltimore, MD - A foul mouthed parrot who had recently been featured on the news as a potential crime witness was beheaded during July 4 celebrations in a ghetto apartment complex court in Baltimore last night. The owner of the parrot, Curtis Le...

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White House changes Independence Day to Fourth of July

Funny story: White House changes Independence Day to Fourth of July

In order to not offend those of Anglo Saxon heritage, the White House has decided to replace Independence Day with the Fourth of July. Fully one third of the colonists during the American Revolution were loyal to the King and fought against establish...

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Miami Hires SpaceX For 4th Of July Fireworks Display

Funny story: Miami Hires SpaceX For 4th Of July Fireworks Display

Miami, FL - Miami Mayor, Roberto Pinkipants, needed to find a new fireworks display company for their upcoming 4th of July fireworks extravaganza - and they needed it fast! But, of course, the problem is, every company in the business is pretty busy...

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The Declaration of Independence Rewritten by the Tea Party

Funny story: The Declaration of Independence Rewritten by the Tea Party

Although the more momentous voting on the Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2, this revered document was signed and officially adopted on July 4, which we now proudly celebrate as Independence Day (although John Adams preferred July 2). What follows is a rewrite of the Declaration of Independence, as conceived of by the Tea Party, had the Founding Fathers known as much about their ow...

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Queen snubs July 4 festivities as Statue of Liberty crop circle sprouts on Palace lawn

Funny story: Queen snubs July 4 festivities as Statue of Liberty crop circle sprouts on Palace lawn

Scotland - An Independence Day crop circle of Lady Liberty has popped up overnight on Holyrood Palace lawns where the Queen is holed up during her annual Scottish Week stay. Flunkies nearly busted a gut raking over the 250ft turf etching that's sp...

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White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

Funny story: White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans celebrated their country's 236th birthday today with fireworks displays, parades, family cookouts, and really shitty American beer. Nevermind that one in four Americans is not able to explain from whom the United State...

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Anthony Weiner Loses Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest: Claims Winner Ate His Weiner By Mistake

Funny story: Anthony Weiner Loses Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest: Claims Winner Ate His Weiner By Mistake

BILLINGSGATE POST - Disgraced Congressman Anthony Weiner entered Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island hoping to redeem himself by eating more weiners than the other contestants. Instead, he created another controversy by claiming t...

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Independence Day plot to top the Queen

Funny story: Independence Day plot to top the Queen

Glasgow - Scottish nationalists are in the frame for a July 4th plot to put Elizabeth Windsor out of her Diamond Jubilee misery. Her annual Scotland visit sees the long-running Cold War hoaxer prepare to dignify tomorrow's Glasgow Cathedral Nation...

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Independence Day crop circle sprouts on Holyrood Palace lawn

Funny story: Independence Day crop circle sprouts on Holyrood Palace lawn

Edinburgh - A Stars and Stripes crop circle composed entirely of the reviled Christmas Day brassicas has sprung up outside the Queen's bedroom window in Scotland. Its appearance on Holyrood Palace's lush turds - er...turves! - came within minutes...

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July 4th name change shocker--now to be known as "International Assimilation Day"

Funny story: July 4th name change shocker--now to be known as "International Assimilation Day"

Washington DC - Today the White House announced that President Obama had signed an executive order which declares that henceforth, the July 4th holiday is to be known as "International Assimilation Day". The move drew widespread criticism on Capital...

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Texas Moves Independence Day to October

Funny story: Texas Moves Independence Day to October

With current drought conditions in Texas and with wildfires burning in several parts of the state, the Texas Legislature has voted to move this year's Independence Day celebration to October. The bill passed both the State House and the Senate b...

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Neighborhood BBQ Turns Into Roman Shower

Funny story: Neighborhood BBQ Turns Into Roman Shower

This weekend, while most people are asking themselves, "Will Lebron James stay in Cleveland?" James Brubaker should have been asking himself and anyone with some compassion, "Do you think these burgers are done?" After taking advantage of the Firs...

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Britain Invades US To Win Back Colonies After 4th Of July Insults

Funny story: Britain Invades US To Win Back Colonies After 4th Of July Insults

Great Britain has invaded the United States of America in irritation over the glee showed at that nations Independence day festivities and to win back the valuable territory lost in both the Revolutionary War (or the War Of Snotty Comeuppance" as it...

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July 4th will be a New Public Holiday in the UK

Funny story: July 4th will be a New Public Holiday in the UK

David Cameron has given the biggest hint yet that the UK will be given a new public holiday to bring the number of public holidays up to the same number as the rest of the European Union. Original thoughts were the Monday following Armistice Day i...

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Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Funny story: Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children. "It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...

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Thousands of Illegal Aliens Return To Mexico To Celebrate Mexican Independence Day

Funny story: Thousands of Illegal Aliens Return To Mexico To Celebrate Mexican Independence Day

EAST LOS ANGELES - Hundreds of restaurant kitchens are empty in this southern California city as thousands of illegal aliens have returned to their native Mexico in order to participate in the Mexican Independence Day celebration. The festive nati...

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Salmond plans independence warchest

Alex Salmond, SNP leader and would-be clan chief of an independent Scotland, has been outlining his plans to fund his forthcoming referendum. In a candid interview with 'Burly Jocks' magazine he admitted he would need to raise a lot of cash. Mo...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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