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Funny satire stories about Independence Day

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Funny story: The Declaration of Independence Rewritten by the Tea Party

The Declaration of Independence Rewritten by the Tea Party

Although the more momentous voting on the Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2, this revered document was signed and officially adopted on July 4, which we now proudly celebrate as Independence Day (although John Adams preferred July 2). What follows is a rewrite of the Declaration of Independence, as conceived of by the Tea Party, had the Founding Fathers known as much about their ow...
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Funny story: Queen snubs July 4 festivities as Statue of Liberty crop circle sprouts on Palace lawn

Queen snubs July 4 festivities as Statue of Liberty crop circle sprouts on Palace lawn

Scotland - An Independence Day crop circle of Lady Liberty has popped up overnight on Holyrood Palace lawns where the Queen is holed up during her annual Scottish Week stay. Flunkies nearly busted a gut raking over the 250ft turf etching that's sp...
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Funny story: White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans celebrated their country's 236th birthday today with fireworks displays, parades, family cookouts, and really shitty American beer. Nevermind that one in four Americans is not able to explain from whom the United State...
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Funny story: Anthony Weiner Loses Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest: Claims Winner Ate His Weiner By Mistake

Anthony Weiner Loses Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest: Claims Winner Ate His Weiner By Mistake

BILLINGSGATE POST - Disgraced Congressman Anthony Weiner entered Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island hoping to redeem himself by eating more weiners than the other contestants. Instead, he created another controversy by claiming t...
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Funny story: Independence Day plot to top the Queen

Independence Day plot to top the Queen

Glasgow - Scottish nationalists are in the frame for a July 4th plot to put Elizabeth Windsor out of her Diamond Jubilee misery. Her annual Scotland visit sees the long-running Cold War hoaxer prepare to dignify tomorrow's Glasgow Cathedral Nation...
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Funny story: Independence Day crop circle sprouts on Holyrood Palace lawn

Independence Day crop circle sprouts on Holyrood Palace lawn

Edinburgh - A Stars and Stripes crop circle composed entirely of the reviled Christmas Day brassicas has sprung up outside the Queen's bedroom window in Scotland. Its appearance on Holyrood Palace's lush turds - er...turves! - came within minutes...
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Funny story: July 4th name change shocker--now to be known as "International Assimilation Day"

July 4th name change shocker--now to be known as "International Assimilation Day"

Washington DC - Today the White House announced that President Obama had signed an executive order which declares that henceforth, the July 4th holiday is to be known as "International Assimilation Day". The move drew widespread criticism on Capital...
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Funny story: Texas Moves Independence Day to October

Texas Moves Independence Day to October

With current drought conditions in Texas and with wildfires burning in several parts of the state, the Texas Legislature has voted to move this year's Independence Day celebration to October. The bill passed both the State House and the Senate b...
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Funny story: Neighborhood BBQ Turns Into Roman Shower

Neighborhood BBQ Turns Into Roman Shower

This weekend, while most people are asking themselves, "Will Lebron James stay in Cleveland?" James Brubaker should have been asking himself and anyone with some compassion, "Do you think these burgers are done?" After taking advantage of the Firs...
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Funny story: Britain Invades US To Win Back Colonies After 4th Of July Insults

Britain Invades US To Win Back Colonies After 4th Of July Insults

Great Britain has invaded the United States of America in irritation over the glee showed at that nations Independence day festivities and to win back the valuable territory lost in both the Revolutionary War (or the War Of Snotty Comeuppance" as it...
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Funny story: July 4th will be a New Public Holiday in the UK

July 4th will be a New Public Holiday in the UK

David Cameron has given the biggest hint yet that the UK will be given a new public holiday to bring the number of public holidays up to the same number as the rest of the European Union. Original thoughts were the Monday following Armistice Day i...
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Funny story: Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children. "It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...
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Funny story: Thousands of Illegal Aliens Return To Mexico To Celebrate Mexican Independence Day

Thousands of Illegal Aliens Return To Mexico To Celebrate Mexican Independence Day

EAST LOS ANGELES - Hundreds of restaurant kitchens are empty in this southern California city as thousands of illegal aliens have returned to their native Mexico in order to participate in the Mexican Independence Day celebration. The festive nati...
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Funny story: Salmond plans independence warchest

Salmond plans independence warchest

Alex Salmond, SNP leader and would-be clan chief of an independent Scotland, has been outlining his plans to fund his forthcoming referendum. In a candid interview with 'Burly Jocks' magazine he admitted he would need to raise a lot of cash. Mo...
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Funny story: Obama Apologizes to Loyalists

Obama Apologizes to Loyalists

Washington, DC - President Barack Obama on Independence Day said he would on behalf of the United States apologize for the treatment the Loyalists got during and after the American War for Independence. The President will host a dinner at the Whit...
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Funny story: Independence Day 2009 Cancelled - July 3 To Repeat

Independence Day 2009 Cancelled - July 3 To Repeat

President Obama, speaking from the Oval Office has decreed that Independence Day 2009 is not to be celebrated and that July 4 is to be deleted from all calendars. "This is part of my Economic Stimulus Package" the President explained. "I expect th...
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Funny story: Obama Accidentally Calls Cinco De Mayo "Our Independence Day"

Obama Accidentally Calls Cinco De Mayo "Our Independence Day"

Cinco de Mayo (May 5th) is one of two Independence Days in the country of Mexico (the other is the 16th of September). In a speech at a Media Fund-Raiser at a hotel banquet room in Southern California, President Barack Obama accidentally referred to...
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Funny story: Constitution Set to Explode July 4th, 2009

Constitution Set to Explode July 4th, 2009

Texas (AP)- In what has been described as an upcoming Constitutional explosion, 49 states will secede from the Union effective July 4th, 2009. Talk of secession has been bantered about on Capitol Hill for the past several months when the republicans...
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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