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Funny satire stories about Implants

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Funny story: Didn't he ever hear of Viagra?

Didn't he ever hear of Viagra?

DANBURY, Conn. (AP) - Police say a Danbury woman and a surgeon were charged after her 39 year old husband was punished with an electric shock device implanted in his penis intended to end a long-time affair. Forty-three-year-old Yolanda Montanez i...
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Funny story: Microchipping of London 2012 hookers outsourced to Barking vets

Microchipping of London 2012 hookers outsourced to Barking vets

Isle of Dogs - The £2 million former NHS contract will see all available prostitutes working the lucrative London Olympics turf microchipped following extensive medical tests. Emergency legislation means the scheme can be extended from pet dogs, c...
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Funny story: COO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite

COO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite

GENEVA, Switzerland - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up than last reported. "Not fair", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to revelatio...
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Funny story: Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Scientists agree bionic lenses will be available in the next 10 years and commercial concerns are already queuing up to take advantage. Aside from the obvious applications the lens which fits over your eye offers: SatNav directions and assembly instructions, all beamed straight to the eye. Other ideas are now being suggested like: the one from Barnstable's 'Eye Eye Lovely' called an 'X-Ray Eye...
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Funny story: Pippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage

Pippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage

London - "At this stage we simply don't know if they're surgical implants," one ogler commented, "or polystyrene slip-ins, part of some designer thong. "Still, it's the only sartorial topic on most blokes' minds, like, watching Pip sashay up the A...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Signs Deal With Implant Manufacturer

Kim Kardashian Signs Deal With Implant Manufacturer

Recently named as having the "Best Butt" in the world for 2010, Kim Kardashian has just inked an agreement with Meddiplant Corporation to produce a full line of butt-implants for the "caboose challenged", as Kim likes to call it. Working closely...
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Funny story: Breast Implant Explodes

Breast Implant Explodes

Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey. "It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, t...
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Funny story: FBI Looking For Alien Implants At Airport Screenings

FBI Looking For Alien Implants At Airport Screenings

Washington, DC-- There appears to be a much more ominous reason for the enhanced pat downs at the nations airports, according to unnamed sources. The Federal Government is in a desperate search for people with alien implants. The Feds fear that pe...
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Funny story: 911 Call: Urkel Just Punched Me In The Sweater-Meat.

911 Call: Urkel Just Punched Me In The Sweater-Meat.

Police say that Jaleel White, the man who spent years playing "Urkel" on "Family Matters", and the subsequent years proving that he was the giant douchebag he portrayed, is being investigated for allegedly punched Bridget Hardy, his baby's mother, in...
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Funny story: Joe Biden Admits His Man Boobs Are Implants

Joe Biden Admits His Man Boobs Are Implants

United States Vice President Joe Biden admitted on Monday that his man boobs are actually breast implants. Biden said that the surgery was done last year by a Boston plastic surgeon before his abortive run for the Presidency. Said Biden, "The i...
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Funny story: Katie Price Contemplates Leg Implants.

Katie Price Contemplates Leg Implants.

Katie Price, aka former glamour model Jordan reacted badly when she was shown recorded footage of herself in 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here', the crap reality TV show presented by Ant and Dec. Katie, aka Jordan was horrified by TV images whic...
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Funny story: Carrie Prejean Proud of Her Christian Implants

Carrie Prejean Proud of Her Christian Implants

In multiple interviews this past week, ousted California beauty queen, Carrie Prejean says that she is "proud" of her breast implants and that they fall under, or more appropriately stated, rise to the guidelines set forth by her church leadership.
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Funny story: Fruit flies infest White House

Fruit flies infest White House

The White House was closed this weekend while attendants fumigated the president's offices for a pest infestation.
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Funny story: Computer dreams

Computer dreams

Dozens of brave souls in America and Japan have undergone brain surgery to implant hardware that allows customized dreams and heads-up Internet on demand.
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Funny story: Muchi Hai upgrades to video brain implant

Muchi Hai upgrades to video brain implant

(Tokyo) Earlier this year Muchai Hai became the first person to receive a commercial neural implant capable of receiving cell phone calls controlled by her thought...
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Funny story: Disney kicks Muchi Hai out of park

Disney kicks Muchi Hai out of park

(Tokyo) The first commercial recipient of an implanted cellular telephone, Muchi Hai, was visiting the local Disneyland when staff asked her to leave the park for...
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Funny story: Brain implant procedure approved for general population

Brain implant procedure approved for general population

Cyberkinetics Inc. of Foxboro, MA, has received Food and Drug Administration approval to expand its use of brain implants to include elective surgery. "Disabled people will no longer be the only ones that can benefit from being able to control t...
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Funny story: Obama criticizes Bush's microchip implant

Obama criticizes Bush's microchip implant

Earlier today Democratic candidate Barack Obama, held an interview with members of the Democratic party at a secrete location in BFE Washington with support from the Hollywood Liberal Association (a well known celebrity organization) to discuss Bush&...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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