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Illinois congresswoman to convert to Islam

Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D-IL, today announced that she is converting from Judaism to Islam. "With the whole flap over Bibi Netanyahu's speech to Congress, I realized that I agree far more with Islamist thinking than Jewish thinking," Schakowsky said...

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President Obama Says He's In Favor Of Illinois' Proposed Marijuana Law

Funny story: President Obama Says He's In Favor Of Illinois' Proposed Marijuana Law

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - President Obama took some time out from his busy schedule to visit the capital of Illinois. He had been asked to travel to Springfield by state Senator Hayley Martha Tuckerbucker [D-Kankakee]. The Land of Lincoln State,...

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Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

Funny story: Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

NEW YORK CITY - Contrary to some recent rumors, 92-year-old Betty White was not born in a log cabin in Illinois. The elderly actress was born in Oak Park, Illinois in an accredited hospital. White was in the news recently when a team of archaeo...

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1st International Bacon Olympics Begins Next Month

Funny story: 1st International Bacon Olympics Begins Next Month

KEWANEE, ILLINOIS - Welcome to Kewanee, Illinois, the self-proclaimed Hog Capital of the World, population 12,916, where the 1st International Bacon Olympics will be held the first week of March. If there is any doubt that this small town loves...

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Bravo Launches "Real Housewives Of Low Income Housing"

Funny story: Bravo Launches "Real Housewives Of Low Income Housing"

Bravo spokesman Andy Cohen announced today that the reality based, network heavy weight will be launching another housewives reality show in the fall of 2014. "The Real Housewives of Public Housing" will be based on the south side of Chicago in t...

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The Reason Kankakee, Illinois Installed A Red Carpet Down The Middle of Main Street

Funny story: The Reason Kankakee, Illinois Installed A Red Carpet Down The Middle of Main Street

KANKAKEE, Illinois - The Kankakee City Council hit upon a very clever idea at last month's council meeting. Councilwoman Hazel Tuttletree, 51, suggested that the council approve installing a red carpet down the middle of Main Street. After gett...

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Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Funny story: Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vig...

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Joe Walsh Apologises For Confusing 'Dumbasses'

Funny story: Joe Walsh Apologises For Confusing 'Dumbasses'

Legendary guitar hero, Joe Walsh, has apologised for confusing 'dumbass' voters in Illinois. The former James Gang and Eagles axe wielder caused much scratching of heads when he endorsed Democrat candidate for Congress, Tammy Duckworth. Simple...

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Michele Bachmann Campaigns In Kankakee, Illinois and Catches Hell From Some of The Crowd

Funny story: Michele Bachmann Campaigns In Kankakee, Illinois and Catches Hell From Some of The Crowd

KANKAKEE, Illinois - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour found itself in Kankakee, Illinois, the home of Johnny Appleseed Instant Apple Sauce. She was greeted by a group of well wishers who wished her presidential campaign well a...

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Blagojevich threatens to boycott commissary if sent to jail

Funny story: Blagojevich threatens to boycott commissary if sent to jail

CHICAGO - The former governor of Illinois who was convicted on attempts to sell Barack Obama's senate seat among other corruption charges has a new line of threats for the powers that he used to be. "Don't think I will actually use the money I go...

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State Department Warns Against Travel in Iowa

Funny story: State Department Warns Against Travel in Iowa

Keokuk,Iowa-The State Department has warned American citizens against travelling in Iowa after Amish rebels kidnapped an American tourist there. Bicyclist Howard Johnson was captured over the weekend after straying into rebel territory while bicyc...

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Amish Rebels up Ante in Quest for Johnson's Release

Funny story: Amish Rebels up Ante in Quest for Johnson's Release

Amish Rebels in Iowa have issued a statement calling for Illinois to surrender all it's territory west of the Mississippi in exchange for the release of bicyclist Howard Johnson. Fredrick Yoder, speaking through an interpreter called Mr. Johnson a...

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Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

Funny story: Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

The State Department has confirmed that Illinois resident, Howard Johnson, has been captured and is being held for ransom by renegade Amish rebels in southern Iowa. According to a statement from the department, Mr. Johnson was enjoying a leisurely...

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Tila Tequila Says She Was Viciously Attacked At An Illinois Concert Because The Crowd of Juggalos Did Not Like Her Song "Hey Punk Kiss My Junk In The Trunk"

Funny story: Tila Tequila Says She Was Viciously Attacked At An Illinois Concert Because The Crowd of Juggalos Did Not Like Her Song "Hey Punk Kiss My Junk In The Trunk"

HARDIN COUNTY, Illinois - Tila Tequila showed up at Hardin County's Corn-On-The-Cob Coliseum expecting to do her 55 minute show, collect her $3,000, go back to her hotel room, and party. Well it did not quite work out that way. The skinny little F...

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Elvis Discovered in Donut Factory

Funny story: Elvis Discovered in Donut Factory

Rumours fly in a small town, but secrets can be kept too. That's why Effingham, Illinois is ground zero for one of the biggest secrets of this new century. It all started over 10 years ago when a Creamy Crisp Donut factory was built in Effingham and...

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Obama Appoints Blagojevick Ethics Advisor

Funny story: Obama Appoints Blagojevick Ethics Advisor

President Barack Obama has appointed former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich as his new advisor on Ethics. The post will be considered Cabinet Level by the President and will consult with Obama on moral and ethical questions on a daily basis. Ob...

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Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side

Funny story: Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side

Rod Blagojevich has been ousted as Illinois governor after being convicted of going over to the Dark Side, and subsequently using his gubernatorial and eBay Seller powers for Evil Intent. He is also accused of having the lowest eBay Feedback Rat...

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Blagojevich Guest Stars At Impeachment

Unable to resist the magnetism of rolling cameras, Rod Blagojevich dropped by his impeachment hearings long enough to make a speech today. Previously, the Illinois State Governor had stated that he would not attend his own impeachment, citing several...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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