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Funny satire stories about Illinois

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Funny story:  Michele Bachmann Campaigns In Kankakee, Illinois and Catches Hell From Some of The Crowd

Michele Bachmann Campaigns In Kankakee, Illinois and Catches Hell From Some of The Crowd

KANKAKEE, Illinois - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour found itself in Kankakee, Illinois, the home of Johnny Appleseed Instant Apple Sauce. She was greeted by a group of well wishers who wished her presidential campaign well a...
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Funny story:  Blagojevich threatens to boycott commissary if sent to jail

Blagojevich threatens to boycott commissary if sent to jail

CHICAGO - The former governor of Illinois who was convicted on attempts to sell Barack Obama's senate seat among other corruption charges has a new line of threats for the powers that he used to be. "Don't think I will actually use the money I go...
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Funny story:  State Department Warns Against Travel in Iowa

State Department Warns Against Travel in Iowa

Keokuk,Iowa-The State Department has warned American citizens against travelling in Iowa after Amish rebels kidnapped an American tourist there. Bicyclist Howard Johnson was captured over the weekend after straying into rebel territory while bicyc...
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Funny story:  Amish Rebels up Ante in Quest for Johnson's Release

Amish Rebels up Ante in Quest for Johnson's Release

Amish Rebels in Iowa have issued a statement calling for Illinois to surrender all it's territory west of the Mississippi in exchange for the release of bicyclist Howard Johnson. Fredrick Yoder, speaking through an interpreter called Mr. Johnson a...
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Funny story:  Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

Illinois Man Captured by Amish Rebels Inside Iowa

The State Department has confirmed that Illinois resident, Howard Johnson, has been captured and is being held for ransom by renegade Amish rebels in southern Iowa. According to a statement from the department, Mr. Johnson was enjoying a leisurely...
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Funny story:  Tila Tequila Says She Was Viciously Attacked At An Illinois Concert Because The Crowd of Juggalos Did Not Like Her Song "Hey Punk Kiss My Junk In The Trunk"

Tila Tequila Says She Was Viciously Attacked At An Illinois Concert Because The Crowd of Juggalos Did Not Like Her Song "Hey Punk Kiss My Junk In The Trunk"

HARDIN COUNTY, Illinois - Tila Tequila showed up at Hardin County's Corn-On-The-Cob Coliseum expecting to do her 55 minute show, collect her $3,000, go back to her hotel room, and party. Well it did not quite work out that way. The skinny little F...
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Funny story:  Elvis Discovered in Donut Factory

Elvis Discovered in Donut Factory

Rumours fly in a small town, but secrets can be kept too. That's why Effingham, Illinois is ground zero for one of the biggest secrets of this new century. It all started over 10 years ago when a Creamy Crisp Donut factory was built in Effingham and...
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Funny story:  Obama Appoints Blagojevick Ethics Advisor

Obama Appoints Blagojevick Ethics Advisor

President Barack Obama has appointed former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich as his new advisor on Ethics. The post will be considered Cabinet Level by the President and will consult with Obama on moral and ethical questions on a daily basis. Ob...
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Funny story:  Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side

Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side

Rod Blagojevich has been ousted as Illinois governor after being convicted of going over to the Dark Side, and subsequently using his gubernatorial and eBay Seller powers for Evil Intent. He is also accused of having the lowest eBay Feedback Rat...
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Funny story:  Blagojevich Guest Stars At Impeachment

Blagojevich Guest Stars At Impeachment

Unable to resist the magnetism of rolling cameras, Rod Blagojevich dropped by his impeachment hearings long enough to make a speech today. Previously, the Illinois State Governor had stated that he would not attend his own impeachment, citing several...
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Funny story:  Entire state of Illinois collectively denies wrongdoing

Entire state of Illinois collectively denies wrongdoing

In response to a flurry of allegations of suspected misbehavior, the entire state of Illinois has reportedly denied involvement in "any wrongdoing whatsoever" and maintain their collective innocence, in spite of an ongoing federal investigation targe...
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Funny story:  Blagojevich Denies Naming Self to Senate Seat

Blagojevich Denies Naming Self to Senate Seat

Embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich denied allegations that he was going to name himself to the senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama. "I have never considered myself for the position of Senator." Governor Blagojevich told m...
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Funny story:  Blagojevich Sells House Too

Blagojevich Sells House Too

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, under fire for trying to sell Barack Obama's US Senate seat, is catching more trouble over his efforts to sell his house. Recent allegations indicate Blagojevich was engaged in a wide variety of corrupt behaviors...
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Funny story:  Altona, Illinois Man Found Dead Near Masonic Hall

Altona, Illinois Man Found Dead Near Masonic Hall

The body of Leeroy "Belcher" Bleecher, 25, of Altona was found just outside the Masonic Hall Sunday and concerned citizens of this small Illinois town are demanding that Sheriff Grover Giddy "do something..anything" to find out what caused this trage...
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Funny story:  Woman's knickers fall down as she bends to pick up electric Zither

Woman's knickers fall down as she bends to pick up electric Zither

Mrs Elizabeth Merryweather, 82 shocked locals today with a display of extreme graphic nudity in front of the Country Union of Novelty Tambourines and Zithers (or C.U.N.T.Z - for short) annual convention.
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Funny story:  Rex Grossman: "Intercept the Cure"

Rex Grossman: "Intercept the Cure"

Little six year old Ryan O'Conner of Skokie, Illinois spends most of his days hooked up to a series of tubes and machines. He has spent the past seventeen months living in room 221 at Children's Memorial Hospital, staring out the window, suffering silently in indescribable pain.
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Funny story:  Illinois Governor Faces Problems With His Proposed $100 Bazillion Kagillion Tax Increase

Illinois Governor Faces Problems With His Proposed $100 Bazillion Kagillion Tax Increase

Last week, Governor Blagojevich of Illinois proposed in his State of the State Address the biggest tax increase in the history of the world. But now, he is finding out that proposing the budget change is the easy part. Trying to get support for it...
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Funny story:  Chicago Times dumps "Dear Abby"

Chicago Times dumps "Dear Abby"

Chicago, Illinois - After decades in print, the Chicago Times has dropped the advice column "Dear Abby" for the new and often very funny, "Dear Mr. Wise Guy." The column is written by "the unknown guy" as they call him and reads as follows:...
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Breaking News...

Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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