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Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Funny story: Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Royal Ascot, home of equestrian royalty, the final bastion of expensive designer female hats, Saville Row suits, royal processions, mega buckets of expensive champers, Rolls Royces, and High Society in general, has finally succumbed to the modern wa...

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Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

Funny story: Abbot bans priests from entering Sister Mary's Ass!

After allowing his silent religious order to communicate via the use of Facebook, Abbot Michael Lafferty, was mortified when comments that he left on one of his priest's Facebook entries went viral. Having entered the sanctuary's working donkey in...

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Bedlam blasts all over a Donald Trump rally at Sam Houston Race Course

Funny story: Bedlam blasts all over a Donald Trump rally at Sam Houston Race Course

Donald Trump was the last to show up at his convention in Texas yesterday, where he wailed and railed about Latino people, calling them a number of vile and racist names. He also threw some racist rhetoric at one of the favorite sons of Texas, Ted Cr...

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Dark Horse: Donald Trump is not one of us

Funny story: Dark Horse: Donald Trump is not one of us

Manchuria (SAPP) - The Society of Dark Horses (SoDaHo) has announced in a press release that Donald Trump is not one of them. The secret society, known for its yearly festival in Manchuria known as Burning Horse, has claimed that it has no record of...

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American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

Funny story: American Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)

Dallas, TX - Triple Crown winning horsie, American Pharoah, is reportedly getting a record-setting stud fee of over three million dollars from other mega-rich horse breeders, to jam its giant horse dong into their fillies, in an effort to produce the...

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Curse of Tutankhamun haunts American Pharoah's Triple Crown bid

Funny story: Curse of Tutankhamun haunts American Pharoah's Triple Crown bid

Elmont, NY - Punters are being warned off betting in Sautrday's renewal of the Belmont Stakes amid reports that an ancient Egyptian hex is stalking dual classic winner American Pharoah. The 3/5 favorite is bidding to break the 37 year hoodoo affec...

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False Legged Horse Romps In At 2000 - 1 Betting Suspended

A formerly injured horse, Pastorius II romped home by 13 lengths at Chepslow this afternoon. Six months ago, the horse was about to be shot after it jumped over a grass cutting machine, losing four legs below the "knee". A relative of Oscar Pistoli...

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New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

Funny story: New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

Rally style jockey protection cages are among the proposals for "Horse Smack-Head" meetings to be staged in Afhghanistan. The unfortunate horses which are prone to accidental banned substance ingestion will race while on morphine initially, before b...

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One's Horses Achieve An All Time High

Funny story: One's Horses Achieve An All Time High

Despite Estimate, one of HRH Queen Elizabeth's horses accidentally getting contaminated food in its nosh bag, this year has seen many high points for the Queen's horses, the Palace said this morning. "Some of the horses that her nags mix with though,...

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Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

Funny story: Toast Of New York burns his Epson Derby bridges, heads for Belmont Invitational instead

New York - A Brti-trained wonder horse named after its eponymous Upper East Side breakfast bar owners is homeward bound for a tilt at this year's $1.25m Belmont Derby Invitational. Toast of New York is now a firm 3/1 favorite for the 5 July 10-fur...

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Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses

Funny story: Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses

For the first time in the history of college sports, athletes are asking to be represented by a labor union, taking formal steps on Tuesday to begin the process of being recognized as employees. Ramogi Huma, president of the National College Playe...

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Qatari shaikh falls for $8 million talking horse

Funny story: Qatari shaikh falls for $8 million talking horse

Doha, Qatar - Not since Dubai ruler Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider's disastrous $10 million punt on Snaafi Dancer in 1982 has the world of thoroughbred bloodstock sales looked so damn pleased with itself. The totally useless unraced son of the lege...

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Breeders Cup next as Kingsbarns an absolute 6/1 steal for Irish Champion Stakes

Funny story: Breeders Cup next as Kingsbarns an absolute 6/1 steal for Irish Champion Stakes

Kentucky - A huge American punt on Kingsbarns winning Saturday's Irish Champion Stakes has been reported by online spread-betting site Aintgottaprayer.con as several million dollars of US bloodstock agents' and thoroughbred breeders' hard earned cash...

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LeBron James Wants To Buy The Fantastic Racehorse Palace Malice

Funny story: LeBron James Wants To Buy The Fantastic Racehorse Palace Malice

MIAMI - LeBron James has said that he wants to get in contact with the owners of Palace Malice about purchasing the champion thoroughbred racehorse. James the star of the world champion NBA Miami Heat remarked that he recently traveled down to Coz...

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Palace Malice Leaves Every Horse In The Dust As He Wins The Yucatan Commemorative Derby

Funny story: Palace Malice Leaves Every Horse In The Dust As He Wins The Yucatan Commemorative Derby

COZUMEL, Mexico - Kentucky racehorse Palace Malice has just become the first horse in Mexico to ever win the nation's Triple Crown of Horseracing as he handily won The Yucatan Commemorative Derby. Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette covered...

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Palace Malice Races To A Record-Breaking Victory In The Tijuana Invitational Derby

Funny story: Palace Malice Races To A Record-Breaking Victory In The Tijuana Invitational Derby

TIJUANA, Mexico - The winner of The Belmont Stakes Palace Malice has made history down in sunny old Mexico. The Kentucky racehorse easily won the coveted Tijuana Invitational Derby by a record-shattering 27 lengths. Jockey Mike Smith said he kn...

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GG Surprise for Hapless Punters

The GG races at Royle Ashcart have surprised punters who expected exciting races. Unfortunately GG8 proved disappointing with Dick Branson on Virgin Ridiculous winning by a short head. Bermuda Shorts was left far behind and the favourites Jersey B...

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Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

Funny story: Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

ELMONT, New York - Palace Malice defeated the Kentucky Derby winner Orb and the Preakness winner Ox Bow to capture the third jewel of horse racing's coveted Triple Crown, The Belmont Stakes. Jockey Mike Smith said that he knew since the night befo...

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Breaking news…

The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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