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Funny story:  Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

Palace Malice Wins The Belmont Stakes And Now Sets His Sites on Mexico's Tijuana Invitational Derby

ELMONT, New York - Palace Malice defeated the Kentucky Derby winner Orb and the Preakness winner Ox Bow to capture the third jewel of horse racing's coveted Triple Crown, The Belmont Stakes. Jockey Mike Smith said that he knew since the night befo...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un's Race Horse Will Not Be Allowed To Run In The Belmont Stakes

Kim Jong Un's Race Horse Will Not Be Allowed To Run In The Belmont Stakes

ELMONT, New York - The United States Racehorse Federation has just announced that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's racehorse Northern Rice King will not be allowed to run in the 145th running of The Belmont Stakes. USRF spokesperson Amethyst Chut...
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Funny story:  Kentucky Derby Winner Orb May Not Run In The Preakness

Kentucky Derby Winner Orb May Not Run In The Preakness

BALTIMORE - Word coming out of the home of The Preakness is that Kentucky Derby winner, Orb may not be entered to race in the second jewel of the Triple Crown race. Orb's owner Stuart "Horsey" Janney said that he was told by Orb's nutritionist ide...
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Funny story:  I'll Have Another won't run Belmont; He Has The "Zombie Virus".  Has Been Destroyed.

I'll Have Another won't run Belmont; He Has The "Zombie Virus". Has Been Destroyed.

The racehorse I'll Have Another has been scratched from Saturday's Belmont Stakes, ending its bid to become the first Triple Crown winner in 34 years, as he has contracted the dreaded zombie virus. The beast is reportedly foaming at the mouth, has...
View 'I'll Have Another won't run Belmont; He Has The "Zombie Virus".  Has Been Destroyed.'
Funny story:  Horse Wins Race

Horse Wins Race

The 137th Preakness Stakes was run today, and for the 137th consecutive time the race was won by a small man riding a horse. I'll Have Another kept alive its hopes for a triple crown, or rather, kept alive the triple crown hopes of the people around...
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Funny story:  Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate

Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate

Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout. It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's co...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly'

Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly'

Manchester - "Saw its backside, like, and had to call it Pippy," was the lame explanation ahead of the two year-old's debut at Chester racecourse on Wednesday. The Australian Exceed And Excel-sired colt out of US mare Night Shift was snapped up by...
View 'Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly''
Funny story:  Racing: a mouldy Gray Pearl and the equine Pearly Gates

Racing: a mouldy Gray Pearl and the equine Pearly Gates

Newmarket - The mysterious owner of a filly that died at Newmarket's starting stalls rejoices in the name of Mr H R Mould. This afternoon Gray Pearl, the jewel in his crown of Thousand Guineas aspirations, was tragically struck down on the Rowley...
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Funny story:  Horse Wins Grand National

Horse Wins Grand National

The 2012 Grand National was won by a horse, we can sensationally reveal, in a nail biting race which went right to the finish line. The horse, a grey one, came first over forty other horses to win the world renowned National Hunt handicap steeplechas...
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Funny story:  Queen loses a right royal packet backing three-legged no hoper in Queen Mother Champion Chase

Queen loses a right royal packet backing three-legged no hoper in Queen Mother Champion Chase

Cheltenham, Gloucs - Deprived of insider betting tips from jump racing's tipping grand masters Charlie and Rebekah Brooks the Queen went with her gut feeling this afternoon to back 20/1 no hoper Wishful Thonking. Witnesses say HM blithely placed a...
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Funny story:  David Cameron: I did not have sexual relations with that horse

David Cameron: I did not have sexual relations with that horse

Under pressure British Prime Minister David Cameron held a press conference today to deny having sex with a horse lent to Rupert Murdoch lacky Rebecca Crooks by the Metropolitan Police. Mr Cameron was in Brussels for yet another EU summit, but the...
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Funny story:  Horse in hospital after being thrown from Lorraine Kelly

Horse in hospital after being thrown from Lorraine Kelly

Ned the horse was taken to horse-pital (sorry) last night after falling off TV presenter Lorraine Kelly. Ned and Kelly were filming for a new reality show 'Celebrities On Horses'. Ned explained to the Racing Post "Lorraine came to pick me up from...
View 'Horse in hospital after being thrown from Lorraine Kelly'
Funny story:  Race Horses to be given sensible names

Race Horses to be given sensible names

Race horses have been given names like Happen-stance Roadwork and Mountaineer Roadblock the Fifth for far too long according to the Equine Naming Institute. "It is getting sillier and sillier," said Hopwood Felicitous, co-ordinator of horse names...
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Funny story:  Big Max becomes Chief Whip

Big Max becomes Chief Whip

In a bid to resolve the Jockey's Dispute the British Horse Racing Authority have agreed terms for Max Mousey to become their President. Big Max declared he was all for the whip and people should be allowed to get pleasure from watching horses whip...
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Funny story:  OMG!  Did Harry hex Dettori's King George mount Rewilding?

OMG! Did Harry hex Dettori's King George mount Rewilding?

Ascot - Another racing disaster struck today following the abject failure of talked-up royal nag Carlton House in the Epsom Derby seven weeks ago. Punters at Ascot racecourse were left reeling as King George second favorite Rewilding, ridden by Fr...
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Funny story:  Rebekah Brooks's husband publishes Slags book

Rebekah Brooks's husband publishes Slags book

When Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie published his first book in 2009, David Cameron, Rupert Murdoch and Guy Ritchie attended the launch at Nincompoop, the West End nightclub. The complex novel,called Fillies, covered a world Brooks knew well as...
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Funny story:  Lord Nonce in Royal Ascot punch up with Pikey

Lord Nonce in Royal Ascot punch up with Pikey

Lord Humphrey Nonce QC was left cursing his bad luck at Royal Ascot yesterday. The 'Sporting Judge', who part owns a leg of the game filly Kinky Afro, watched as the nag pulled up short in The Buckingham Palace Stakes over 7 Furlongs. With the...
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Funny story:  Queen's credit rating downgraded as Palace fails to clear Epsom Derby betting debts

Queen's credit rating downgraded as Palace fails to clear Epsom Derby betting debts

Ascot - Online bookmaker RoyalMugPunter.con is still awaiting settlement of Derby Day IOUs on disastrous royal no-hoper Carlton House. House of Windsor losses are said to account for much of the £50 million that bookies raked in when French-traine...
View 'Queen's credit rating downgraded as Palace fails to clear Epsom Derby betting debts'

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